Should I worry about my daughter?

Question

My ex husband spends $200 to $300 per month on Tv porn and another couple hundred on phone sex. Should I worry about my daughters well being when she visits at his house. I don't want to believe he would touch her but his obsession with porn is worrisome

Before we divorced he kicked me out to the couch so she could sleep with him. I didn't even think about it then but I didn't know about the porn either. My daughter is 8 years old and I have talked with her about inapproiate touching. She got defensive saying no no one has ever touched me. My gut feeling is have it investigated. This will be a major battle with him.

Answer 1

oh yeah worry ,you cant afford to be silent on this one

Answer 2

Your ex-husband's obsession with porn IS disturbing if he's absorbing it to the degree you described, but even still, it's a wild leap of fancy to think he would inappropriately touch his own daughter without prior evidence of a need for concern in that area. That said, you know the situation better than anyone, and if you feel strongly enough about the matter it's worth having it looked in to, (far better to err on the side of caution where children are concerned), but it's more likely that he's got that situation contained during her visits. Had you noticed untoward behavior in his dealings with her before then perhaps your suspicions would be more justified and alarming. The best way to allay your fears would be to have a candid talk with him prior to her next visit and address your concerns at that time. You can then judge for yourself if further intervention is warranted. I hope all goes well.

Answer 3

Have you talked with him about your concerns? It's very likely that he loves his children and would not do or let anything that could harm them happen. Perhaps you could ask him to be extra careful to put away any material that they shouldn't have access to in a place where they won't stumble upon it. Most adults take part in things that are not appropriate for children and most responsible parents see to it that they don't expose their children to those things. I few things you may want to ask yourself is, Have you noticed any behavior or signs that your girls maybe seeing or experiencing things they shouldn't be? Do they look forward to spending time with Dad? Was he a good father (even if not a good husband) when you were together?
It would be best just to talk it over with him if possible and without making him have to defend his right to do what he wants when he is alone in the privacy of his home.

Answer 4

I would sure stop them from sleeping in the same bed.Obssesion with porn is not really the problem as much as kicking his own wife out of the bed to have his daughter to sleep with him.Now that I would certainly be concerned with if it were me I would watch closely the relationship between them because she just may be ashamed to say anything or maby he has told her that it is all right to do these sort of things or maby even threatened her with some kind of violence.

Answer 5

This is the most hardest question that I have to answer.But I will urge you to find out if your husband is a register sex offender in your town,You can find out by checking at the police station if you think he is obsess with Kid porn but some men they are obsessed with teen and adult.You can find out by asking your child if he is watching while she visits him in the house.I am worried about his quality time with her.He may not harm your kid yet but I do not know and kid sometimes protect the people who harms them.So, you have to confront him and treaten to have Court supervision.But,custody for kid is a painful issue for your kid.You have to test the water and trust how your gut feels first.Then make sure you have the proof before you take him to court.Good luck Mom.

Answer 6

Yes you should have it checked out, way too many red flags. You dont need his permission, you are her mother, and from what you have said, I would be very concerned. Once you have it checked out, and her, you will know the right steps to take, but do not wait, and I would also go to court and have supervised visitations started now, and continue until this is resolved. It may take a while to get to the bottom of it, but be patient with her, she may feel like she is bein torn between loyalties. Good Luck

Answer 7

Yes, you should worry. He should not have had her in his bed. I am sure it will be a major battle but I don't think you have a choice. You should start out by having your daughter talk to a professional. A professional should be able to get an honest and "non-defensive" answer out of her.

Good luck. Do not wait on this.

Answer 8

Follow your gut you lived with this man if you are worried then do something, if you are wrong that ok at least you wont have to worry about some thing so awfull happening to your baby and what if some thing was going on but you did nothing, i hope you make the right decision and i hope also for your duaghters sake that you are wrong.
Be strong and good luck

Answer 9

"he kicked me out to the couch so she could sleep with him"

And you let your 8 y/o go visit him unsupervised?!?!??! Are you crazy?

Watching porn is normal for many men. Sleeping in the same bed at a 7 or 8 year old girl is NOT!

Answer 10

I would definitely check into this. If it turns out he did do something to hurt her and you did nothing to try and stop or change it or even investigate it, and you had a gut feeling or any idea this could have happened you too can be held accountable. For your sake as well as for your precious little girl , check it out. Do something or don't let her go over there!

Answer 11

well have you ever talked to your daughter about what they do over there. My ex always loved to sleep with our daughter but i wouldn't think that he is doing anything with her but i do understand that there are those types of men out there. All i can say is talk to your daughter or take her to a doctor and if the doctor says that she has been touched. then you need to get a really good lawyer and sue the crap out of him. so that you can take every right he has. i am a mother and i hope that there is nothing going on with them. that will traumatize her or however you spell it. good luck!