we moved 8 hours away last year and had a baby 9 monthes ago....my friend invited us to his wedding so we would have to pack up the baby drive for 8 or 9 hours just to make it there in time for the wedding...this would mean we would have to leave at about 4am Saturday to be there at 3pm, and then turn around and leave Sunday at noon to make it home again for work on Monday....Am I being selfish, cause I feel really guilty for saying no
2006-08-16 15:50:33 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
NO you are not being selfish...don't feel guilty because of that, is very uncomfortable be in a car for 9 hours even more with a baby.
Now have you thought about leaving your baby with a family or friend that you trust? or even your husband. You could fly there in the morning be at the wedding and then the next morning fly back. That is a good solution, the money you would spend in gas, and hotel and food ... you could use it to buy the flight ticket, and be there with your friend.
2006-08-16 15:59:24 · answer #1 · answered by fun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i jwouldnt say your being selfish but if you and him are really true friends i think u would have found a way to make it to the wedding your child is old enough to travel and if you dont want to travel with your little one dont you have someone who can watch the baby for u? sometimes we have to sacrafice ourselfs for others.you could switch off driving with your wife so its not so hard on either of you why couldnt you leave the night before and maybe just drive half way and sleep in a hote?not only is that the easy way but it gets you and your family out for the weekend make it fun pack up some food so it doesnt cost so much on the way and enjoy the drive four hrs is nothing and you make him happy and you not so tired.have your wife drive the second half of the trip home so u can sleep the last four and that way your not so tired in the morning for work where theres a will theres a way thats what i was always taught.
2006-08-16 16:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by nvvlewis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not! As Engineer Scott would say "Ye canna change the laws of physics, Cap'n Kirk!" Unless you are in a financial position to miss work -- or charter a Lear Jet -- then it's simply impossible for you manage the geographic reality. Stop feeling guilty (silly) and start feeling merely disappointed and chagrined (natural and appropriate). Send your friend a gift, along with a check for a set of wedding photos.
2006-08-16 20:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you should feel bad. Im sure your friend understands. You have a new baby, you have a life... just like they do. You work on the week days, and with living so far away, and with the baby, it really makes it difficult, and makes things very tight scheduled all weekdend, and probably will mess with the baby schedule (at least my son at that age, his schedule was easily messed up). Send them a nice card, with some wedding wishes, and a nice gift. If they are true friends, they will understand.
Best wishes
2006-08-16 15:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a shame you said "No". You should not allow your baby to totally rule your life, babies are far more resiliant than you think. If you feel that you don't want to take baby do you have any very reliable family member you could leave him/her with for 2 nights ? You could then travel on the Friday evening and return on Sunday. I really think that you should make the effort. I hope it all turns out well.
2006-08-16 19:17:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you have a legitimate reason for saying no I would drive 8 or 9 hours with a baby, just send them a nice gift and if they are truly your friends they will understand
2006-08-16 16:00:20 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. Hot Chocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how and what u mean, but ur friend should understand that becasue of the move, new baby and work u just can't go back and 4ward.
U should just send a nice gift and wish them the best.
A real true friend will understand ans would never ask u 2 do this knowing it will take it's toll on u and ur family.
2006-08-16 15:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by itspink22@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being selfish, and if he's a real friend, he'll understand you have a lot going on right now.
If I were you, I'd just send him something nice in the mail and stop feeling guilty.
(Altho you'll start feeling a lot of guilt now about everything now that you're a new mommy. LOL)
2006-08-16 15:57:15 · answer #8 · answered by Jen B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not being selfish. Babies can be very fussy on long trips, not to mention the fact that you have to go to work on Monday. Just explain the situation to him and if he's any friend at all he will understand
2006-08-16 15:55:46 · answer #9 · answered by msjudy58 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best suggestions would be to personally hand write, NO EMAILS, a lovely letter wishing the couple well on the the day of their ceremony; And to inform them that while you cherish their friendship you regretfully must decline to attend. Mail seperately a small (or large depending on budget) gift certificate or gift, or you can send flowers.
2006-08-17 01:29:21 · answer #10 · answered by Annette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋