There was a boy whose parents were very strict in his upbringing.
They never allowed him to meet any girls, except his own relatives. However, one day he saw one of his best friends kissing a girl and he went to his mother and asked her what they were doing.
His mother told him, "It's called kissing and any boy who does that to a girl will die that very minute!"
On his 21st birthday he went out with some friends who introduced him to one of the sweetest girls around town.
She knew that he had never been kissed before.
When she eventually got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him but he resisted. She asked him, "What are you afraid of, it won't hurt."
He said, "My mother said if I kiss a girl I'll die this very minute!!"
She replied, "Don't be a baby, now come on kiss me."
With that she gave him a hot one square across the lips.
He began to cry, "Oh no I'm going to die!!!"
She said, "Why are you going to die??"
He replied, "I've just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!!"
2006-08-16 15:36:09 · 22 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ROTF LMAO!!!!!
Good one!!
2006-08-16 16:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by Comfortably Numb™ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i ve got one to add to this lot, by the way they've all been not bad
Teacher says " ok kids, its friday and im going to ask a ?? and anyone gets it right can have a long weekend and not come in monday.
Naturally, the kids are all excited by this prospect so teacher says" How much water is there in the worlds seas??"
The kids yell out....1 million litres, 124 million litres, 1.2 billion litres etc etc Teacher says " sorry kids, no one got the answer correct. The correct answer is 23.6 trillion litres"
Next Friday comes along and the teacher says " ok kids question time, same deal as last week, if you get my ?? right, no school monday.
Once again the kids are very excited at this prospect. So teacher says" How many people are there in the whole world??"
Answers are screamed out from all parts of the room....123 billion ppl, 26 trillion, 248 zillion etc and she says" No kids, sorry the correct answer is 23 billion, 456 thousand people.
The kids groan in dissapointment.
Sure enough next friday arrives and teacher says" Ok kids, the usual trick, get my question right and Monday is your own private day"
Little Johnny has been waiting for this moment and pulls out 2 golfballs from his schoolbag which he has painted black during the week and rolls them from the back of the classroon and they stop at the teachers desk where she says,
" ok, who's the joker with the 2 black balls??? and Little Johnny says" Eddie Murphy miss, see you tuesday!!!!
2006-08-17 00:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by jontyfromsa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three ladies stranded on a desert isle long enough that they would fight each other over anything, notice a bottle washed up on the beach and run to it, all grabbing and fighting to gain it as hers!
Well, the genie pops out, and, not knowing who released him, decides to grant each a wish!
The Brunette wishes to go back to her hubby, and kids, and "poof", was gone!
The Redhead mentioned that she was a school teacher and misses her class very much, so "poof", she was gone!
Looking around at the few swaying palms, and the barren beach, with the sea waves gently lapping, the Blonde says it sure seems forlorn, and lonely and she wishes those other two were here!
2006-08-16 22:50:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was awesome. How about this. Wrong e-mail address
Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!
2006-08-16 23:33:26 · answer #4 · answered by Agentj100 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao
The sad part is I've actually met sheltered boys like that before.
2006-08-16 22:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by anonymous 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the funniest sh** right there! I also have met guys this sheltered before
2006-08-17 01:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by Jimi Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that only got a short giggle out of me, kinda lame
2006-08-16 22:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by Scubby_04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha i actually let out a laugh for that one
2006-08-17 00:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a good one.
2006-08-16 22:42:23 · answer #9 · answered by Sean J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol poor boy... should have watch move tv hehe
2006-08-16 22:42:37 · answer #10 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a good one.
2006-08-16 22:41:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋