I have a 3 year old daughter who is a pretty cool kid half the time. The other half of the time she is very mean to her older brother (age 5) and she is also very bossy and whiney. Sometimes I think she talks in a constant whine. I thought it was a discipline problem but then as different tactics I tried had little to no difference of outcome, I'm starting to think its a personality trait. I have noticed that it is only her brother that she is mean to. She seems to play very well with other children. What I am trying to do now is ignore the whining and tell her that I'll talk to her when she speaks calmly. Sometimes this works but its hard to know what to do. If only kids came with instructions, LOL. Is that the fun of it or what!?
2006-08-16 15:33:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Well, I have a boy and he is an only child. Two was a breeze...about three months after he turned three, I wondered who the child was!! I think it's normal. It does pass, lol, but the things they come up with at that age is astounding "Who's child ARE you??!" "Darth Vadar's"...and this too shall pass. Have fun!!!
2006-08-16 15:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I am about to say sounds ludicrous, but just read it for a minute. This behavior is a good thing. She has developed a sense of self, a sense of others and is now testing the limits on someone who is handy and whose love she cannot question, her poor brother. The whiny thing is also part of the transition from baby to kid. You expect more out of her than you did six months ago and a lot more than a year ago. Her whining is an attempt to regain the ease of success with things she already knows and of controlling and affecting changes in your behavior. By never responding to the whine (well mostly never...lol) and telling her what to do instead, you are doing the right thing, just keep it up and add catching her being good. When she speaks to you in her good, strong voice, especially if she makes a request with her good voice, acknowledge and praise it. It does pass and she will find a new universal truth to test.
You said the whine is constant, she may not be able to hear the difference, try making a recording of the two voices and letting her hear the difference.
All too soon she'll be leaving for college, hug her and enjoy her.
Good luck
2006-08-17 02:37:04 · answer #2 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter and a 3 1/2 year old son. When my daughter was 3ish I could not believe that my little princess would ever act or do the things she did. And then when my son turns 3,I thought the same thing. I have said to them on many occasions,"what have you done with my little girl/boy?". I guess it's super normal. I never heard of the phrase "terrible 3's", only "terrible2's", and it ain't the 2's we all have to worry about... It's defiantly the 3's!!! But don't worry, my daughter started growing out of it when she was around the 4 year old mark. Just stick to your guns and don't let her get away with the things you don't want her doing, and she'll be just fine. I know, I can't wait until my son's 4th b-day! And also remember that the girls are a lot bossier than the boy's , it's just a girl thing I guess.
Good luck, it can only go up from here!!!
Happy parenting!!!
2006-08-18 23:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 3 year old is the same way. She is a really great kid but then she gets in these really whiney moods. I just tell her that as long as she does not whine she can ... watch a movie, go to the park, or have ice cream after her dinner... any of these seem to work most of the time. The thing with her brother is a sibling rivalry thing. Don't worry too much about it. She'll pass through this phase.
2006-08-16 22:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by lili 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give into the whine. It will only reinforce that behavior. In fact, keep ignoring it-- negative attention is still attention and will reinforce the behavior. So good job! Stick to your guns!
She's obviously jealous of her big brother. Try to show her a little extra TLC, show her that you think she's special.
2006-08-18 03:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by aas_627 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my Three yearold Daughter is muchly the same.She is mean to her younger sister half the time and they play well together too.Also when she doenst get her own way...She whines..until she knows mommy isnt going to put up with it and she will be on time out....then when she calms down she asks calmly and she may get what she wants.
2006-08-17 08:53:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a 3 year old girl as well and YES. she is exactly like that whiney and pouty and a little princess. i wish kids did come with instructions but they dont... darn. maybe she doesnt like you giving attention to your son as apposed to her. i know my daughter gets really mean when i give to much attention to my nephew.
2006-08-17 12:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by hedley_20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the one thing that always worked for me was i would look at them and say "i don't like the way your talking to me (or your brother) and when you are ready to talk nice i will listen" their tone changed and they then dropped the whiny voice...the first time you use it they stop for a moment with silence to absorb what you had said but if your consistant, things will get better...if you let them get away with talking to you whiny (or being mean to her brother) one moment but then scold her the next she won't understand...
2006-08-17 03:55:05 · answer #8 · answered by buschchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea its normal, she has to share your love with someone else. my baby is 3 and also whiney, i could not imagine having another kid, she needs my attention allll the time. and asks a million questions.why mommy why....
2006-08-16 23:46:49 · answer #9 · answered by nicky2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you noticed how many desperate questions there are about three year olds in this section? Lots.
Mine is doing this too. I am helpless.
2006-08-19 01:29:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋