Godparent dilemma: wondering what is the right thing to do? My former best friend asked me to be the godmother

Question

of her first 3 children. At the time I was much more religious and spiritually active than she was, having been privately and quietly following a set path since I was 7. She was an atheist, but her husband's family were Christian. She was ok with my beliefs. I accepted, considering it an honor. While I was overseas, she and her husband became, overnight, Born-Again, right wing, religious fanatics. They end every piece of correspondence with lines like, "we pray daily for your salvation so you don't burn in the fiery pit forever", and have even gone so far as to accuse me of being an Anti-Christian when I quietly explained I found a place in a Unitarian community. Bottom line- she makes me extremely uncomfortable now, I find her views and condescending attitude repugnant, and I avoid her. I do not necessarily wish to say this to her, becasue I am hoping she will one day accept me back as who I am, for the children's sake. She now has 4. What would you do?

Answer 1

--Is Catholic--

You and I would disagree on a great deal many things, but we would agree that you friend is being repulsive.

I do not suggest that you become a "god parent" to another one of their children. I do not know what exactly your friends thinks that term means, but it has a specific meaning for Catholics. Also given that she went "born again" and they tend to ignore Christ's command to baptize children, I do not see why she would ask you again.

If you are asked to be a god parent again or to be more involved in the spiritual life of those children, just ask your friend, how can she expect you to be a spiritual adviser/ role model for them when she disagrees with what you believe in and would likely teach them? (My guess is that she is using her children as a ploy hoping that if you "teach them" you will become "born again" through your interactions.)

What would I do? Well, I educated myself and became Catholic.

Anyway here is some tips for avoiding confrontations and in general getting your friend to knock it off.
1. Understand that her attitude is a real part of her belief system. It will not change unless core aspects of what she thinks is in the bible change.
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75uR8Iz1AB4
Watch and understand that your friend might have a few points.
3. Don't let her dictate religious conversation. If you do not want to talk about a subject, change it and tell her that you do not want to talk about it.
4. "Born-again" evangelicals are really good at knowing a lot of verses and having their bibles all highlighted. Unfortunately, there is a lot that is wrong and verses that do not mean what they think they mean. I recommend either discussing things from a clean bible of your choosing, or saying "that is all well and good, but show me a Christian in the first 2 centuries who believed what you say that verse means". Perhaps you will learn something, perhaps she will.
5. If you keep getting hit with "religious forwards" that you think are purposely meant for you, stop opening them.
6. If she keeps saying "I am praying for you so you do not go to hell," tell her that you are doing likewise (and do it).
7. Learn your history.

Answer 2

If she asked you to be a Godparent, I'll assume that she is talking about baptizing an infant. According to scripture an infant has no need of baptism. They are innocent. They will need to be baptized later when they are old enough to repent and Choose Christ for themselves. But the problem is that many people think they were baptized as a child. All they really did was get wet.
Now that is what scripture says. Her beliefs are obviously different than mine. And if you are Unitarian, your beliefs probably include all kinds of things that are not in the bible, just as hers do. Maybe the 2 of you could spend some time together and study what the scriptures say for yourself. You could help her become more obedient and she could help you.

Answer 3

Maybe you can take this as your opportunity to show a "balanced" perspective. They are zealots now but the emotional part of their faith experience may wear down in a while. Then it's time for the real growth in their faith to start. Just be patient with them and don't take it all personal. Some people really get carried away with the emotional part of their faith.

Answer 4

I would bring it up with her. Sometimes people need to realize that they go too far. No one ever said it would be easy to do, but that is the best solution.

God Bless