Godparent dilemma: wondering what is the right thing to do? My former best friend asked me to be the godmother

Question

of her first 3 children. At the time I was much more religious and spiritually active than she was, having been privately and quietly following a set path since I was 7. She was an atheist, but her husband's family were Christian. She was ok with my beliefs. I accepted, considering it an honor. While I was overseas, she and her husband became, overnight, Born-Again, right wing, religious fanatics. They end every piece of correspondence with lines like, "we pray daily for your salvation so you don't burn in the fiery pit forever", and have even gone so far as to accuse me of being an Anti-Christian when I quietly explained I found a place in a Unitarian community. Bottom line- she makes me extremely uncomfortable now, I find her views and condescending attitude repugnant, and I avoid her. I do not necessarily wish to say this to her, becasue I am hoping she will one day accept me back as who I am, for the children's sake. She now has 4. What would you do?

Answer 1

Letter or conversation:

"We have been friends for so long, sometimes I can't believe how long it has been. It seems like yesterday that I was thrilled to be godparent to (firstborn). As time has gone by, it seems that we have taken on new directions and different beliefs. I would certainly think you might want to name someone from your faith as godparent to your children. Then you would be sure that your child/ren would be brought up as you would want should something happen to you. Your children mean a lot to me and I would be happy to be an honorary godparent as I shall always care about them and their well-being."

Answer 2

Being a God Parent is a largely symbolic position and you should consider it a priviledge to be asked. But before you make a decision to carry on an God Parent you should confront your friend about some of the unpleasent inferances and comments she/they have made about you. It is wonderful for this couple to find themselves but to be so full of themselves is unacceptable. Religion is not a competition like having the biggest house or newest car. It is personal to each individual and this needs to be respected.

Answer 3

I'm confused. If you haven't already done the whole ceremonial god-parent shin-dig, just tell them you are uncomfortable and why. Religion doesn't necessarily equate to open-mindedness. After all most war are fought over conflicting belief systems.

Tell her if she can't respect that your views are different you can no longer be friends. Godparents are overrated anyhow. I haven't heard from my Godmother in 30 years.

Answer 4

Wish her and her family well, Bless them, forgive yourself and gently and tactfully decline if she is going to continue to berate you. It's better to say no with grace and dignity than to feel bad if you were unable to be there because of religious tension.
Feel blessed that you were asked. If you still aren't sure, meditate quietly and see what your guides say. Hope it works out for you.

Answer 5

Just avoid her and her family. Being godparent is not a legal thing.

Answer 6

I would do nothing other than what you have been doing .... quietly follow your own path .... we all walk the same path, but we each walk it in our own way.

Answer 7

Don't do it if you are not comfortable, because that negates the whole point. Just explain to her nicely when you refuse.

Answer 8

Seems like she wants nothing to do with you as long as your beliefs differ from hers. There's really nothing to do but drop her and her kids. They're her kids, not yours, and she can raise them as she sees fit, unfortunately.

Answer 9

i would just talk to her and tell her how you feel
tell her once you accept Jesus you are saved you dont have to pray for it and pray that God helps you know what to say and that he will help her understand

Answer 10

I would say no.