My brother and I are not speaking?

Question

My brother and I had a big fight about 3 weeks ago and I basically told him to get out my house. I have been their for my brother in so many ways. I love him but his attitude is beyond mean. He smoke so much weed that I think it has changed him. Their are days when he is cool but say the wrong thing and he will bite your head off. He treats my mom and his girlfriend like crap. He uses both of them. He always stealing her money and borrowing money from my mom. He don't feel good about his life so he attack other people lives to make himself feel good. Well I will no longer put up with it but it is killing my mom. I told her that I wasn't going to let him disrespect me in my house. Its been going on for years but I finally said enough. My brother lives very close to me and it's odd walking by him not speaking. How can I help my mom understand what I am feeling?

Answer 1

The truth is she may never understand, but you are doing the right thing. I know it is hard because he is your brother, but no one should have to put up with the kind of disrespect it sounds like you have. He will never get any better until he realizes he has a problem and wants to help himself! All you can do is pray that he sees the light oneday! Stay strong and stick to your guns....it will get better someday but that day has not come yet! Best of Luck!

Answer 2

Sadly, your brother has chosen his drug habit over everything and everyone else in his life, including himself. You might want to contact Families Anonymous (a group for families dealing with someone who has a drug or drinking problem) or a similar support group. There is nothing you can do to change your brother. It has to come from within him. Maybe if enough people in his life would tell him he's a creep, it might get through to him. In the meantime, protect yourself and do your best to help your mom see that she isn't really helping him by letting him use her. It's hard for a mom to give up on a child. Try to find some support for yourself. You are not wrong to say that you've had enough!

Answer 3

Your mother may never come around to your viewpoint of your brother being a bad influence with his own life, but she should respect the notion that in your own house you do not have to put up with behaviors and disrespect from anyone; let alone your own brother. Some people need tough love from their closest relatives to see through the 'fog' of their lifestyle. Good luck and stick by your principles. There will be tension, but things over time may change for the better.

Answer 4

Tell your mother exactly how you feel. Most mothers love their children regardless of what they do and will always want to help them. I wouldn't blame you though, sometimes family members want to mooch off other family members just because their life has gone down hill. I hope you and and your brother can establish a better relationship. Talk to him alone (face to face) and when he is not high and let him also know how you feel. Let him know the hurt that he has caused your mother and you and tell him how much you all care about him. Sometimes a person who's suffering from low-self esteem and feels as if they do not have nothing going for themselves needs to hear how much they are wanted, love and cared about. Hug him and let him know this.I wish you well, for I have been through a similar situation with my brother.

Answer 5

I think the best thing is for you to be honest and tell your mother exactly why it is that you are not speaking to your brother. Explain to her that it is hurting you inside to see him disrespect your mother and his girlfriend. She will understand why you are not speaking to him. Have you had a long talk with your brother about how his behavior makes you feel? He really needs to know how you feel. Maybe you could write him a letter if you don't want to talk to him. My mother and my sister aren't really talking right now because she is choosing to have more of a relationship with her abusive boyfriend than my family and it's killing all of us especially my parents so I understand what it's like to be hurt by a sibling. I tried to talk to my sister about how it makes us all feel, but she usually blows it off and acts like it's not a problem. All I can do is be there for my mother and father and tell them that despite my sister's choices she still loves them and she'll come around one day. I hope she does. You need to be there for your mother too. I hope everything works out for you and your brother will realize how he is hurting you and your mother. Best wishes!

Answer 6

Well, you have to make your mom realize how toxic your brother has become. He's not the sweet little boy your mom held in her arms so many years ago, he's terrible drug addict.

You shouldn't feel guilty about cutting him out of your life, you're showing him tough love and if your family follows suit, he'll have to change.

Answer 7

Tell your mom what you just told us and tell your brother that how you feel. He really shouldnt have came into your house disrespecting you. That was wrong. Maybe you shoule try to get your brother some help. Or just talk to him.

Answer 8

You just have to let your mother face the fact that he uses her and so on. Of course she is going to try and think positive because it is her son, but just tell her everything you wrote down. You are always there for him and you never ask for anything in return. Is he ever there for you or your mother? I hope things turn out for the best.

Answer 9

Say just what you said to us--that he's been awful to all of you, that you can't stand to see her being used by him, etc. If you're paying the bills for the house, you had the right to kick him out.

*hug* I'm sorry you're going through this.

Answer 10

Give her time.... It will blow over