i began dating my husband when my daughter was 2 months old. the biological father last saw her when she was 6 months old. they garnished his wages for a little while, and now four years later, my husband and i have been happily married for over three years. we have a child together and my 4 year old loves her 'daddy' almost as much as he loves her. nobody would ever guess she wasn't his. but with school starting and leqarning names and all... i don't want her confused about her last name...she carries my maiden and biological father's last name. i want to get custody so that my husband can adopt her, but can't afford an attorney. i dont even knw where the father is, or if he'll fight me for visitation...i've been a wreck for months not knowing what to do...an avg. retainer is 3000.00. please help me.
2006-08-16 13:59:52 · 20 answers · asked by life beyond yur wildest dreams 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
OK...this is considered a step parent adoption. Since the biological father has not seen her or offered any monetary support in over a year (normally it's only 3 months) then it is considered abandonment. You do not have to track him down and it would be in your best interest if you didn't because then he may want to push the issue. Look up legal forms on a search engine or if you want I can send you a copy of mine with the important info marked out of course to use as a guide. Find out what the laws are in your state because most children involved in an adoption are appointed a guideon ad litem (basically to say that this would be in the best interest of the child). You can file the paper work yourself which will be much less costly. It took about 3 months to get all the paperwork through the system here for my husband to adopt my youngest son (his father left when I was prego and my son knows only his Daddy). If you have any other questions please go ahead and ask me directly...I know what you are going through!!!
2006-08-16 14:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by stall_out 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you have custody, I wouldn't worry about that.
My hubby adopted my son from a previous marriage. My ex abandoned him. I called the court house to ask about how to go about this. I had to fill out some paperwork and have a social worker come to the house. Then since I knew where my ex was I called him and he voluntarily signed off rights. But she told me that if I didn't know where he as I would have to send a letter to his last known address and/or put an add in the paper stating parental rights would be terminated etc... if he never came out of the woodwork and a judge agreed then his rights were terminated and the new hubby could adopt. You also had to live with the new daddy for 6 months (even if you aren't married the whole 6 months) We filed in mid Aug and it was finalized by Mid Oct. This was in Michigan.
Also when I was 21 I had my step dad adopt me...even though it was an adult adoption I still had to try to let my birth father know, I gave them an address I found on line (I've never met him) and that seemed to be fine even though they never heard anything back from him.
WE NEVER HAD AN ATTORNEY FOR EITHER ONE. I wouldn't worry about an attny unless the birth father shows up and starts fighting.
Good luck!
2006-08-16 14:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by turtle43761 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is this web-site, www.legalmatch.com They will help you find an attorney, in your area, for your specific problem and that will work within a price range you can afford. Or like the others said, find a local legal aid office. It sounds like you have a good case, the biological father has pretty much abandoned her. Good Luck.
P.S. It is possible for you to file papers yourself through your local court system, but the paperwork can be complicated and you want to make sure it's done right, and if the guy does come back and try to fight this, you will need a good lawyer on your side. I really hope that web-site helps you find one.
2006-08-16 14:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depending on where you live...you can go about the process yourself and follow the steps that the courts where you reside tell you to do. there will be fees and such but a hell of a lot less then a lawyer. These are the steps you will most likely have to do.
1) go to court house and ask them for the papers to file a motion and they will tell you what you need to do and or have. they will either tell you that you will have to ask the court for a motion to start a adoption process...
2) you will have to post an add in the local newspapers in which the biological father resides for seven to ten days. consequtive days.
3) you then will most likely get a court date for a hearing....you tell the judge that you have posted it in several news papers and it would be best if you provide proof that you did that....and you fill the papers out with what is in your heart....the bilogical father deserted the child and has not attempted to contact in anyway whatso ever and;
4) it will be a long process and well usually the disertion gets the job done....It is going to cost less but you will have to do the bull work and good luck
2006-08-16 14:10:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why?
why put all that old hassel and maybe some new....for a name change.
Father loves his daughter
daughter loves her father
biological dad is out of the picture
you are living happily
further actions would include:
paying a serer to find the bio father
serving him papers
lawyer fees
court costs
and most importantly possibly having to give visitation to the man.... and giving your little girl to a complete stranger to her every other weekend.
Or live like you are happily..........a family.......with a few last names. Schools understand that all the time.
Think about what the consequences could be if you go on further with this. Examine the pros and cons.
2006-08-16 14:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that you call in your local area for free lawyers or free legal advice also call your court house sometimes you to that with out the father around since you have any idea where he is that will help also some lawyers will help out depending on things since he has last seen her at 6 months only is a good thing for you but some lawyers will waver the fee too.God Bless...hope this helps you..
2006-08-16 14:18:16 · answer #6 · answered by kutiepye28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out this forum and see if they can give you any information on your question.
I had 2 kids when I married my second hubby, we have been togeather for 30 years now, We decided not to have him adopt them, but they do call him Dad, and for all intents and purposes he is their dad, we did sign papers that gave him the right to get medical care or what ever they needed If I wasn't able to be there or do so myself.
I was unable to find thier dad too. But I did give my children the choice when they were old enough to change thier names if they wanted to. one did and one didn't.
It is much easier when you can't really afford an attorney.
Good luck in your search.
2006-08-16 14:12:11 · answer #7 · answered by totalyclipse 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on your state. In Florida if you weren't married to biological father and he hasn't had custody established in court than your husband now can file for adoption and if the biological father can not be found you can file abandament papers on him and the adoption would go through. Email me if you need more help.
2006-08-16 14:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by Summer H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear of the saying, "Let sleeping dogs lie?" Well that is what you do in this case. Don't open up a can of worms. There's always the chance he'd resume visitation and cause a bunch of chaos for you guys. It would take an attorney to make this happen, It's just too involved to do it yourself.
2006-08-16 14:30:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the bilogical father is not paying any child support for his child at that techincally he has given up any legal right.but you still want to make sure he still has ot sign over any right of the child you may find out about getting an attorney appointed by the city usually are free in most areas
2006-08-16 14:34:15 · answer #10 · answered by Quasar1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋