If you had a child who was a hermaphrodite....?

Question

What would you say when the kid reached adolescence, and it was time to have "the talk"?

Answer 1

I suppose if I was in that situation I would research and figure out the best way to deal with it. I would make sure they know that regardless I still love them and not to let anyone take them down in any way ever...

Answer 2

This is too long, I see that, but bear with me on this one.

I don't know if you really want to know or consider all the possibilities, but there are so many kinds of intersexed people or hermaphrodites that each individual should be allowed a specific "talk" depending on their own form. I hated to see all the other participants that would put their child through surgery (as I didn't even circumsise my sons) so I simply had to give an answer, although I did take some time to form a complete knowledge before aiming to do so.

There are any number of forms an intersexed person can come in...here are a few of the most common:

Klinefelter's syndrome -- A condition in which a genetic male actually has one or more extra X chromosomes (XXY, XXXY). The individual appears anatomically male but would not be male according to XY=boy formula. Neither could such a person impregnate a female, being sterile.

Turner's syndrome -- Condition in which an individual has one X and no Y chromosome, thus they are neither an XY male or a XX female. In addition, the gonads degenerate before birth. In most respects the person will be anatomically female, however without hormone treatment their will be no secondary sexual characteristics.

Congenital adrenal hyperplasia (or adrenogenital syndrome) -- In this genetically influenced condition the adrenal glands produce an excess of androgens in utero. Children who would be classed as female by both their genes (XX) and their gonads (ovarian) will have masculine appearing genitals, to a varying degrees. They will also, statistically, have an increased liklihood of forming romantic relationships with women as adults.

Androgen insensitivity syndrome (AIS, or testicular feminization) -- Wtih AIS, a fetus which is genetically male (XY chromosomes) has receptors which are unresponsive to testosterone and so is born as a female -- at least outwardly. However there is no female reproductive tract.

Partial AIS: -- Individuals with partial AIS, will appear feminine at birth, but because they have only a reduced sensitivity to androgens, they may suddenly at puberty develop a more male presentation. The clitoris with enlarge to become a small penis. The voice will drop. Testes will descend. Eventually chest and facial hair may develop.

Mayer-Rokitansky-Kustur-Hauser syndrome -- A condition in which the body of a genetic female does not develop a vagina, cervix, uterus or fallopian tubes.

Vaginal agenesis -- A generic condition in which the vagina does not develop -- for a variety of reasons, including MRKH syndrome.

Cloacal exstrophy -- This is a severe congenital malformation of pelvis which can include a male being born without a penis. Even when surgically reconstructed as a girl, males born with cloacal exstrophy generally develop a male identity.

Hypospadias -- A penis is designated hypospadic if the urethral meatus (or pee hole) is located somewhere other than the traditional location -- i.e. the tip of the penis. Instead the hole is located at the base of the penis or somewhere along the shaft. It is a condition which intensifies genital confusion. In that, it causes the penis to resemble a hypertrophic (enlarged) clitoris, making it hard to decide if the individual is a male-appearing female, or a female-appearing male.



In the case were my child had a vagina and a small penis I would likely congratulate her for orgasms will be easily achieved. In a case where my child had a clitoris and testes I would likely suggest abstinance until they were comfortable with ideas of homosexuality to either extent. I'm not sure what exactly I would tell them, but it would be sort of cool for them.... I mean everyone wants to be memorable in the sack, can you imagine how memorable that would be. I don't intend to have any more kids and so far I have boys, so I know I don't have to worry about this but it is certainly a difficult situation for all parties involved I would imagine. What would you? Have you ever met a hermaphrodite? Best wishes

Answer 3

Okay I can think of two ways to answer this. The first would be that I would have a surgery performed on my child at birth so that they would not have to go through the tortures this would could cause because of the way they were born. To pick the sex I would try to look at every angle with the doctor so that we make the correct decisions. I would also have to be prepared that the child might be gay depending on what sex they feel they are when they reach the age of curiosity.

Second, if I had a child who was a hermaphrodite and the possibility of surgery was not a consideration I would handle it with love. I would already have my child in communication with other people who have the same condition as my child. I would want my child to know that there are other people who have the same reality as my child and that they are loved no matter what. It would never be something that did not talk to my child about at any age. There would never be "the talk" instead we would have open communication at all times. I can only assume that it would be something that we would both learn about as we go. I do think that support groups would be the best way to go because I would not be able to understand the reality of my child as well as someone who has been in their shoes would.

Answer 4

I would make a point of researching the issue as extensively as possible. For example, if the child's genetic dice-roll came up with the more common 'pseudohermaphrodite' result, I would make sure that the 'recessive' organs were removed to help maintain proper physical development. If, on the other hand, the dice came up "True Hermaphrodite", I would make a point of leaving the equipment alone (and heaven have mercy on any medico who tried to convince me otherwise) and setting up a special savings fund to cover the surgical costs if and only if the child decided to become one or the other (otherwise, it becomes an addition to the college fund).
I would also form a support group with other parents of hermaphrodite children, with particular emphasis on trying to let my own child socialize in person with the other hermaphrodites. It's one thing to have online contact with other parents of children with particular challenges, but it's quite another for the children possessing such challenges to have actually met face-to-face.
In addition, I would make a point of joining the child in "To-Shin-Do" classes (second link) to make sure that the other kids in school would think very carefully before engaging in the usual cruelty for anyone so significantly different. Aside from establishing and maintaining a high level of physical fitness, To Shin Do explores psychological and spiritual questions to help practitioners become more complete human beings, which is an admirable goal by any measure. And, of course, most established religions would be unable to truly deal with a 'true hermaphrodite'.

Answer 5

well... i would ask them if they had noticed any changes. then i would just address those issues. if he/she/? had any questions, i would not hesistate to answer them- i might have to think a minute or two, but i'm sure i could come up with a good answer.
i've thought about this question before- did you know that nearly 1 out of 100-200 children born are born a hermaphrodite ? (Source: Dateline, saw it on there a couple of years ago) I think that there needs to be more open discussion about this condition b/c that's a lot of people who are hermaphrodites, if you think about it!

i have a question- would you raise it as a boy or a girl? oh, some of you have been discussing that...

oh, btw, for you people who would neuter your child to make them normal- hasn't it ever occurred to you that:

(1) you might be cutting off the wrong part- (ex.) how would you feel if you cut off the penis and the child wound up wanting to be a boy? you know people like that have killed themselves!

(2) maybe hermaphrodites are simply the next step in evolution.

Answer 6

I would have "the talk" pre-adolescence. I got "the talk" when I started kindergarten, and I think my parents made the right choice in doing so.

If the child was a hermaphrodite, it is all the more important to talk to them about sex and anatomy, so they won't be so confused when they get older.

Answer 7

if you wait til the child is an adolescence, you've missed the boat. by then they would already know they are "different". I would suggest starting to discuss the issue as soon as the child notices and starts asking questions. i would think that using the help of a councilor that deals with these kind of situations may be a big help.

Answer 8

Gonadal dysgenesis is extremely rare for both sexual organs to function. Usually neither set is functional and cosmetic surgery can become the determining factor in which sex the child is raised. So depending upon which sex the child has been raised as would be how "the talk" would be presented...keeping in mind that more than likely neither set of sex organs is actually working anyway..."the talk" is probably a moot point.

Answer 9

if it were me and i had a hermaphrodite as my child i would wait for them to come to me with questions. i would answer as best i can and whatever questions i couldn't answer we'd sit down with a doctor or someone and find out together.

Answer 10

I would have the child studied very carefully and have the proper surgery performed so that there will be no problem upon reaching adolescence. I don't think I would tell anyone about it from day one.