tell me some good jokes!?

Answer 1

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages. I hope, it helps u.

Answer 2

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer)



























The perfect woman survived.
She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrolling. *******




















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen either.

Answer 3

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

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A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."

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There was a middle aged couple, who had two stunningly beautiful teenaged blonde daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

After months of trying the wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered. then he gave her a stern look and asked,"Have you been fooling around on me?" The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time."

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First-year students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you are not disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them calmly and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention...."

Answer 4

The teacher asked her students to explain how or why we celebrate Easter. A little girl raises her hand and says Easter is when we put up the tree and hang stockings and open presents. The teacher says No that's Christmas, anyone else? A little boy jumps up and states Easter is when we shoot off fireworks and cook out. No that's Independence Day, anyone else? Another student raises his hand and says, Easter is because God sent his only beloved son to earth to die for our sins and to lead us into salvation. He was crucified on the cross and buried in a cave with a large stone rolled into place to seal the entrance. He descended into Hell to pay the price of our sins. After 3 days he arose from the dead rolled the stone away and went outside and

If he sees his shadow it'll be 6 more weeks of winter.

Answer 5

some good jokes

Answer 6

Everyone knows there's a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. But what is at the other end?

An angry Leprechaun with a 357 magnum, so one should choose carefully.

Answer 7

Two guys are walking down the street. The first guy says "F**k you." The second guy just shrugs and keeps walking. The first guy comes up to a phone booth and calls somebody. Then he goes down to the corner store to get lunch. After lunch he goes to the movie theater, and sees a bill for an upcoming movie called "The Joke's On You." Looks like it's a movie where nothing interesting happens, and they pretend like it's a big joke. The critics said they kept waiting for the punch line, and it never came.

Answer 8

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama is so stupid, she tripeed on a cordless phone

Answer 9

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and skittles came out.

Yo mama so dirty she made a roach say d***

Yo mama so dumb she became an astronaut to see a high five.

Answer 10

PROSTITUTE
policeman arresting a prostitute

PROSTITUTE: I am not selling sex!!!
POLICE: then what are you doing?!
PROSTITUTE: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms with free demo.
POLICE: hmmmmmmmm