My granddaughter was going to go shopping today with her friend and her friend's mom. Her mom had to work some this morning that turned into all day. They ended up not going and my granddaugther was very depressed. I offered taking her shopping to the mall, but she said no. And her friend just turned around and went to church, without inviting her.
How can I help?
2006-08-16 13:37:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
oh good grief. it's not the end of the world. you could tell her to stop her freakin whining is what you can do. tell her to build a wall and get over it.
2006-08-16 13:42:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
How old is she? If she's any older than 8, you don't need to make it up to her. You didn't cause this. I know as a grandma you don't want to see her upset, but this is a minor thing...one of many minor things she'll have to cope with in life. She needs to know that sometimes disappointments happen. If you fix it every time she is upset or disappointed, you will create a monster with no coping skills. Life isn't always fair, and believe me, I know how hard it is to watch her, knowing she's had her feelings hurt, but she will get past things like this much better if you let her learn to get past it.
Like I said, you didn't cause this so if her feelings are very hurt, you can talk to her about those feelings, and you can even have a little grandma/grand daughter evening and watch a movie together, or do something fun... but it's not up to you to correct it for her and take her to the mall. It wouldn't do any good anyway. It's not the mall she's upset about...it's more that her friend seemed to treat her with less respect than she deserves.
2006-08-16 20:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh this is a tough one!! Try to explain to her that some people don't always do the right thing and how important it is to stay true to your word. If nothing else this is a life lesson. Maybe you could offer to take her and her friend shopping on a special girls day out. You can talk about the things that she would like to do. Make a plan and then stick to it!! Good Luck!!! Why is it now the norm that people do not do what they say they are going to do? Just an observation...
2006-08-16 20:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jackie G 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Life is full of disappointments and you trying to be NICE Grandma of the world is not going to help her to learn this sad fact.
We do not always have a FAST CALVARY to ride up and save the day.
Sometimes things just do not work out they way they were supposed to.
And the sooner we learn this the better life is for us.
NO not perfect but better.
IF you help once she will expect help from you all the time...
and when you are not there to give it?
I UNDERSTAND that you feel bad for the situation and YOU want to feel like you can be helpful...
and it sounds like possibly she does not want to be seen in the mall with granny, SORRY but it happens.
I mean you offered, that was WONDERFUL, she said NO...we cannot always help people who are picky!
you know they old saying...
You can please SOME of the people SOMETIME, but you cannot please ALL The people ALL the time.
It is a hard one to accept but it is better for her to just get over not having the friends mom to take them she is 'playing the Martyr' now...
Who would want her to go even to church?
All pouting like that... she will learn that when we pout we will be left alone.
Really let it go.
You cannot help, YOU TRIED, it is her saying NO that kills it.
Sorry.
YOU can tell her that you tried to help, tell her you care, and you wonder WHY she said NO to your offer?
Tell her it makes you feel loved and wanted to help, and her saying NO did not feel good to you!
Tell her to stop being depressed about it, and maybe you two can watch a movie together...bake cookies or something SHE would like to do...
IF she continues to say NO...what I see is a SPOILED lil' girl!
Who needs to learn manners.
Being left out off the LOOP a few times will teach her the value of
acting in a sociable acceptable way pays off and acting snotty will leave her alone!
2006-08-16 21:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by Samuella SilverSelene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you're trying to cheer her up. Infact, don't take what I'm about to say as a suggestion to stop trying, I just hope you understand that no matter what you say or do, sometimes you won't be able to cheer her up. Especially since you're not the cause of her sadness. She'll need to just let time help her get over it or talk it out with her friend and her Mom.
2006-08-16 20:42:56 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know u want to make your grandaughters hurt go away but all u can do is be there if she needs u. Maybe ask her if there is something she would like to do?.If she says no then the best thing I beleive u can do is give her space. Since I don't know her age I'm not sure how to tell u how to react. You treat kids different by their age. I work with kids and I do know that at least. Good luck and I hope she feels better.
2006-08-16 20:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not too much, after she was so looking forward to being with her mom. Her friend didn't help much either.
You can do what grandmothers do best, love her, hug her, think of some funny stories, to tell her. Just being there for her, will be the best thing you can do. Kids are resiliant and will bounce back, knowing you were there for her, will really help her.
Hugs and talking do wonders.
Well done Grandmom. :)
2006-08-16 20:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
life will go on, if your not invited than its some time for yourself. but to make her feel better try making her a sunday. that always makes me feel better when i feel down. or do something fun like rent a funny movie, make some pop corn and sit down in a comfortable chair and chill out. after that she will have forgotten the whole ordeal with her friend.
2006-08-16 20:52:27 · answer #8 · answered by Scarlet5 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Grandmoms always have the most amazing knack for redirecting angst-ridden children. Believe in the power of your station. The best hint you could get is remembering what worked for your daughter when she was about that age. Your experience is your greatest tool; use it.
2006-08-16 20:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remind you have choices in life.
One is to enjoy what you do have
and One is to get depressed about something you don't have or didn't get
If you can do something about it, then do it don't mope around
if you can't get over it and find something around you that is either funny or beautiful to you.
It her choice and her life to live.
Also you can remind her that grumpy and sad people develop more wrinkles when the get old.
2006-08-16 20:48:30 · answer #10 · answered by saintnichoolas 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can do. Such is life, sad as it may be. There is disapointments, turn it into a learning experience for her for the "bigger" things that will disapoint her. Teach her things to do to fight the blues and make "lemons into lemonade"
That would be the best thing to do for her!
2006-08-16 20:43:30 · answer #11 · answered by Miz_Kassandra 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋