does a person's weight really matter? what to do about my weight problem?

Question

i have been struggling with weight loss since getting pregnant and giving birth to my son, who is 2 years old. i have difficulty eating the right foods because i got used to indulging cravings, eat too much, and have a hard time working out. i lost most of the weight i put on, which was about 50lbs., but recently put on 20lbs. again. i gained it all back when my hubby returned from his deployment in january...i tend to eat a lot when i am happy.
my husband is really turned off by my weight gain, and i don't blame him. i definitely don't look as good as i used to.
however, i see myself, and i think, if it were just me, then i wouldn't really mind. i just want to be happy and healthy, not supermodel skinny.
i guess my question is, what do you think about all of this? i currently weigh 155lbs., i'd like to weigh 135lbs. i'm 20 years old and am 5'4". i'm not terribly fat, just "chunky". here is what i look like:
http://army-wife51b.livejournal.com/profile

i guess i should add my husband is on another deployment, so this gives me some time(til october) to show him if i have what it takes to lose weight. i am just at loss...i have no idea where to start or what to do.
should i be thinking of this as losing weight for me or for him? i feel healthy, so i guess this would be for him??? thanks for the insight.

Answer 1

You've got the right idea, but you have several tough challenges. If you really want to do this, it will take discipline. You mention pregnancy as an excuse, but then you talk about putting on another 20. No excuse, there, is there? And 2 years AFTER the pregnancy?

Now, I'm one of those who say that weight shouldn't matter, as long as health is maitained. 155 is not particularly obese, (I LIKE a curvy woman) but even that can lead to future health problems.

Also, look at it from his point of view. In the military, he lives, breathes, and poops discipline. Just back from deployment, he may not have a lot of sympathy for not having discipline. I'm not saying he's being fair to you. I'm just saying. PLUS, coming back from a combat area, he's probably going to be in terrific shape, perhaps the best shape in his life.

That's two more psychological hurdles you have to face.

So, YOU decide if you want to lose the weight. And, if not, YOU decide whether the marriage is strong enough to make it if you don't lose it. Hubby may be a really good guy and be fine with your looks, eventually.

But, here's what I suggest. Make the effort. Find a good, healthy diet plan that includes exercise. Weight Watchers is good and doesn't cost much. Plus, they have a real good track record. There are many others, but stay away from the fad diets and the extreme diets. The extreme ones are hard to keep up, so many people are doomed to fail those.

Basically eat less. Eat healthy and do some mild, daily exercises. Once a week, do a more strenuous, aerobic work out. As long as you can do this much, you will feel better and be stronger when hubby gets back. If you are lucky, you should also be skinnier.

Even chunky looks mighty good over toned muscles.

Answer 2

Honesty, you don't look more than 135lb. I don't think you look chunky at all, just feminine and curvy.

I can't believe your hubby doesn't appreciate you for what you are. If you want to lose the weight for you, that's absolutely fine, but don't let your hubby pressure you into it, otherwise you'll find yourself always gaining the weight back at some point.

The best thing is, rather than diet, just try to eat more healthily. It won't be easy at first ,as you have become so used to eating the wrong types of foods. It may take a while to adapt to, but once you have cut these foods out, the cravings will become much less and eventually, you will not crave those foods any longer.

I'd also suggest toning up and working out at least twice per week. I understand you have a toddler and if this is going to prove difficult, perhaps you could buy a workout video and exercise at home.

Good luck and take care : )

Answer 3

First of all, I am a female and I think you are very pretty with an adorable son (and Duke looks good, too).
You are not fat, just chunky, like you said. What you are going through is a depression. When your husband is deploy, if I understand correctly, you can't eat, really because you are thinking about him. But, when he comes home, you feel so relieved that your guard is down and you naturally eat. Some people would have the opposite effect of what you have.
I would try to go to these people: a nutritionist, a psychologist, and a trainer at a gym. The nutritionist can help you with what foods is good to eat a lot of and not so much of, a psychologist could help explain why you feel the need to eat so much when he is there and a trainer to help you work on the parts you need working on. You are not the only wife (or husband) who either has gained or lost weight because of the worries and doubt you are feeling because your spouse are deployed. Just try to be there for that beautiful angel you have. As for your husband who is turned off......if the shoe was on the other foot and he was at home with the kid(s) worrying whether or not you were coming home safe (or not at all) what would he do? He would be depressed himself and find ways of making himself happy.
It all depends. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

Weight loss should intially be for yourself and then if you would like to do it for your hubby that could be used as insentive. If your not the #1 reason why...you will never maintain. It is hard for everyone, and more people than you realize struggle day to day maintaing their "ideal" body size. I say that everyone should eat a balanced diet and have regular excerise. All in all you will just be a much healthier person and you will shed a few excess lbs along the way. Don't ever look at as a diet...more like a change in life. No one can be perfect all the time...hey a good cheesburger and fries never hurt no one, but it's makin sure that isn't a daily meal. I say make simple lil changes in your meals and get a lil excersise in...before you know it you will be feelin much better and that lil weight you put on will be gone...just take it day by day.

Answer 5

You look fine. I wish I looked that good. If people are telling you otherwise, don't listen to them. That's too bad that your husband is turned off by your weight gain. I thought when you take your vows it's for better or for worse?

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Stand up and walk atleast 5 mins after evry 2 hours while working

Answer 8

beware of hidden calories

Answer 9

replace your scale with a tape measure aim for 32 1 2 inches or less for women and 35 inches or less for men

Answer 10

walk a toy poodle for 41 minutes at 2 miles per hour