My 15 old daughter is a loner?

Question

My teenage daughter is a loner and I wish she will get out more.. She is a only child and she don't get out much. She does have friends but she wont call them, they have to call her. A lot of them just gave up and they don't call her anymore. She does have one who will call her and I'm happy about that. She is very shy person. She stays at home a lot. I took her tv and playstation out of her room because I felt like she was in her room to much. School is about to begin and I'm trying to get her to join a club at school. Do you think I should push her to be more active or just let her be a loner?

Answer 1

You shouldn't push her to do anything, but you should guide her to make the right decisions. Being a loner is quite typical, but its not like she won't develop the skills she needs later in life. Maybe she just feels comfortable in her own mind. She's in control there. However if she is making no efforts to socialize maybe a sportsteam or a club will help her learn the teamsmanship and social skills that she is lacking. Ask her about it. If she says she wants a change, or even hints at it.. you should try to help assist her with the problem.

Answer 2

This is a very interesting question. Many times, shy kids end up holding a grudge against their parents when they force them to join a club, or suggest constantly that they go out with friends. On the other hand, they might thank you in the long run if things go well and they make new friends. It is important to find out if your daughter is a loner because she chooses to be (because she prefers to be alone) or if she is a loner because she doesn't know how to manage herself around her peers (which may end in depression). It was a good idea to take away her TV and PlayStation because that never helped any kids learn anything important, and also gives her incentive to go out and do something else. My advice to you is to keep trying to get her to do more activities, to get new friends or get back the old ones, but not to force her. Her shyness may cause her to feel uncomfortable or nervous around people, and it is important that you teach her to have self confidence. I would say, don't push her to be more active and don't let her just be a loner, either. Try to the thing right in between, that way she won't feel abandoned nor feel as if she has been forced into something. Your job as a mother is to be a tutor, and help her make the right decisions, but NOT to make the decisions for her. Good luck and I hope you can use this advice.

Answer 3

Don't push. Teenagers rebel against parents. Just tell her that being shy will not get her anything. She will miss the most carefree days of her life. It's like anything in life, if you want something you have to plan and work for it. If they haven't yet, the boy's will start trying to seduce her, just to be her first. It's not a nice world at that age. She will need to keep an eye on the boy's and a goal for her long term future.

Answer 4

Just let her be. She's still a child. As she gets older and hits high school, her attitude will change and she probably will be more social. Maybe she has a complex about herself. Give her more comments, like tell her how pretty she looks or if she gets good grades, give her a high five and treat her. Maybe the two of you should go out together, like parks, dinner or any type of social event. Maybe she needs to see you approach people and I'm pretty sure she will learn. Good luck.

Answer 5

Hmmm, a tough question. Generally, I would say don't push, but after seeing how my uncle turned out (a loner who wouldn't call people who tried to reach out to him), I've kind of changed my mind. Maybe you could start by having her volunteer at church, or a soup kitchen, something like that, to let her practice her social skills on someone besides her peers. From what I've seen (and experienced), sometimes it's easier for shy kids to practice on adults. You hate to push kids too much because you just might be setting her up for rejection. It sounds like people do like her, though, so I think maybe she needs a bit of help with her self esteem.

Good luck, Mom! Boy, no one ever told us it was going to be this tough raising kids, did they? ;)

Answer 6

The more you push, the more resentful your daughter may become. I would suggest counseling for your daughter....though I am not suggesting she is crazy, but it might bring her out into the open. Choose a therapist specializing in teenagers.

I am a loner, too...problem is, I never get to BE alone....

Answer 7

Well mabe her friends arn't alowed to do anything... I mean that is always what happens... The cool mom that will LET there kid acually have fun never gets the kid that WANTS to have fun. I think that she should join a club and mabe you shold take her to a charm school, I was reading about one for men that boosted their confidence about women . Ettiqute school (they arn't really schools) I mean they are great they fix your posture so you loot more confident and everything. I mean that doesn't have anything to do with your daughter but mabe you could take her to one for girls.

Answer 8

I was just like her in school. I was scared of my own shadow, scared to talk up in class, talk to other people. I was very painfully shy. Still am, but not as bad. I had few friends. My one main thing was going to church and it was a big part of my life. I did well in school and even won a scholarship to college, but college was too hard for me for the same reasons,. my shyness, I just did not fit in. I hope she can open up more to people. I know I was miserable in high school due to my shyness. I am glad that you encourage her. My parents didn't care one way or the other.

Answer 9

i am like ur daughter.i have friends but i do not call them they call me.i am asked to go places but i dont, i am not an only child but im still like her.i get frustrated wen my mom pushes me to join clubs or something.i would tell u to let her be how she is just but in wen it gets really bad.

Answer 10

Stop trying to live her life for her. I'm sure you have plenty of things you need to work on that other people think are wrong with you.