I need to figure out how to beat this problem. Alot of people tell me Im a fairly attractive person and are surprised that I have trouble getting a girlfriend. This is one of the problems that is preventing me from having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. What can I do to put this irrational fear to rest, because its irratating?
2006-08-16 12:28:52 · 13 answers · asked by average_everyday_normal_guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I fell in love with a beautiful young woman once. And then she moved into my house renting one of the rooms. I had my own room and a third person had the third bedroom. I was in love with her and all of the signs were saying that she loved me back but I never made a move on her. Perhaps this experience was an example of what you are calling love shyness? I had conversations with her so that wasn't the problem but what I should of done was to tell her how much I liked her and why and to tell her about the positive effect she had on me. This is what I should have done. But I didn't do it. Partly, no one had given me a fomula as above. If I had had a formula I could have put it into action with a view to seeing what happened next. But when I think back to that time I get a sense that I did not declare my positive perceptions and feeling for fear of being laughed at. Now I don't know where this fear came from, but perhaps it doesn't matter. What matters is knowing that most people will not laugh at any kind of tenderness. And what matters is knowing that if you are unlucky enough to come across someone who does laugh then this says nothing about you, your perceptions and your feelings. But it does say that people who hurt others through their use of laughter are very unpleasant. The beauty of your tenderness remains long after the ignorant people have gone away. So, just do it. Share your perceptions and feelings and let your friendships grow. And if one of your friendships flourishes and if intimacy, love and trust grow, then we may end up with a very happy couple.
Martin Camden.
2006-08-16 12:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by optimaxim 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
How do you beat love-shyness?
I need to figure out how to beat this problem. Alot of people tell me Im a fairly attractive person and are surprised that I have trouble getting a girlfriend. This is one of the problems that is preventing me from having a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. What can I do to put this...
2015-08-18 23:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you knew that love and shyness are two ends then you beat love-shyness
2006-08-16 12:33:58 · answer #3 · answered by genie_us 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way is through practice. Have conversations with every woman you meet. Make jokes. Tease them playfully about their hair or their makeup, but never in a mean way. Build up a rejection-shield by getting rejected over and over. Believe me. By the time you've been rejected 100 times, you'll love the interaction and you'll not care one bit if a girl rejects you. Be strong. Perservere. You will make it.
2006-08-16 12:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by dante_cubit_3000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
#1 Social Reprogramming Method - http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?Hdgn
2016-06-21 16:55:53 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like everyone else is saying, you need to gain experience. I'm going through the same problem, except with finding a boyfriend, and I'm hoping to end it. Get comfortable talking around girls, and hopefully you'll get through it ok. Good luck, and I hope you find someone who is going to be really great for you. You sound like a nice guy, so I think you'll be fine. ^_^
2006-08-16 12:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...Some people are really born with very poor confidence. But they always manage to beat it by trying hard not to be shy. I think it's just a matter of getting used to it. I know it's very difficult to develop self confidence but you have to have it no matter what.
2006-08-16 12:37:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. OK, being attractive shouldn't have anything to do with getting a girlfriend, to be honest. But when you go to ask a girl out, try beating your fears by thinking positive. As long as you act as you normally do, and just be kind to her and talk to her, then I can't see why she wouldn't want to go out with you. Good luck, -iceisnice610.
2006-08-16 12:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by iceisnice610 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/EndPanicAttacks
Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:
Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.
If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.
2016-01-17 21:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of the gurl... Like no one else is around... And that if she is the right person she will say yes... or u might even have to work for it.... Remeber a couple wrong turns will bring you to the house where ur gonna live happily ever after!!
2006-08-16 12:40:00 · answer #10 · answered by yoanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋