My mom and I had a little talk today.She got angry for no reason and then she said "You don't care about me". And I said "How could I not care about you?You're my mom".I'm angry at her for thinking I don't care about her,but my grandma just died and she meant a lot to my mom so I don't want to hurt her feelings.And I said "I've cared about you all my life and you think just now I wouldn't?"I couldn't believe she didn't know that all ready.So can some-one please help me?NOW????!!!
2006-08-16 11:50:39 · 19 answers · asked by ~SmileyFaceCrazy~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It seems like your mom is still dealing with the grief over losing your grandmother. The days, weeks, and months following a death can be difficult for everyone.
1. Understand that these are difficult times and your and your mom need the support of one another, not to be divided and angry with one another.
2. I have a teenager so I am going to ask you from personal experience,,,"Are you SURE you didn't do anything to get your mother angry? Maybe even a little something? People usually don't get mad for "no reason at all"
3. Give your mom a little distance and a little TLC (tender loving care) especially if this was her mother that passed.
5 Tell your mom that you don't want to argue during a time like this, that you miss your grandma too and that you need a little TLC from her also,
Good Luck
2006-08-16 12:04:13 · answer #1 · answered by Barbara M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to have some patience. If your mom just lost her mom, she is dealing with a lot right now. Just treat her the way you would like to be treated, that's what my mom used to tell me. I lost her 31 years ago when I was only 12. Now I have a daughter, 24, and she and I bat heads all the time. I want the kind of relationship with her that I didn't get to have with my mom and it just doesn't seem to work. Biggest suggestion is to not give up. I'm sure you both love each other and that will get you through anything. Patience, love, and understanding with maybe a lot of hugs with pull you through.
2006-08-16 19:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by tdgpraiseshim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If her Mom just died, she's probably going through a lot. Try not to upset her too much, and let her know that you care, just like you did, only keep ON doing it. Also let her know that now that she just lost her mom, think about how much you need HER. That might help bring her back to you. But it's a big thing to lose a parent. REALLY big. Even when you're grown up. Be kind, patient, and listen. She'll heal with your help.
2006-08-16 18:58:40 · answer #3 · answered by Woz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient if your grandma just died then I am sure that your mom is feeling alot of hurt and pain right now. She needs your support and love. Try and find away to talk to your mom and let her know that you are there for her and that your feelings where hurt by what she said. I am sure that she knows that you care. The death of a love one is often very hard to deal with. Put yourself in your moms shoes.
2006-08-16 19:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by iamahotty36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What were you talking about to make her say that? She knows deep down inside you care about her. She is probably griefing over the loss of her mom and doesn't know quite how to handle it. So, she is lashing out at you. Just be patient. The pain will heal and she will realize what she said was inaccurate. Did you put your feelings above what she is going through??? How did that all come about? Anyway, I am sure she is just in pain right now.
2006-08-16 18:57:15 · answer #5 · answered by Author Al 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people are going through emotionally difficult times, they react to interactions in different ways.
It's possible she (or you) has/have misinterpreted what has happened in your exchange.
If she felt hurt by the interaction, she may have lashed out to hurt someone in retaliation.
You had two things that made you a prime target for that:
1. You were there at the time
2. We most often hurt the people we love most
If you wish to smooth things over, you may try acknowledging that you've both said things that were hurtful to each other - re-affirm your love for your mother, kiss and make up.
Or you may wish to try another approach that feels more natural to you.
2006-08-16 19:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by Guru BoB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what was the situation that caused her to say that, You had to have done, or said something that made her think that. Plus she just lost someone very close to her and it is hard for her right now to cope. Give her a little space and I think that she will come to you and try to talk it out. If not go to her and ask her what you might have done to make her think that you don't care about her. Talk it out calmly.
2006-08-16 18:57:31 · answer #7 · answered by cherrypie p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs you now. Put away all your feeling, and be for her now, and if she said you don't care about her. Then tell her that you love her and you want to be there for her, and will do your best to be there for her. Let her know that you are there for her, not just say it.
Whatever you are feeling, she will not hear it or see it. She is in pain now, and the last thing she wants to hear is what you did for her in the past. Give her a little room and understanding.
2006-08-16 19:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by Sierra Leone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is not the WHOLE story - there WAS a reason she got angry, there's always a reason. Just do something nice for her now, even if it's just picking a flower and bringing it to her. Then tell her you love her.
2006-08-16 18:58:29 · answer #9 · answered by arvecar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mother is obviously grieving which can predispose people to lash out at other if for no reason other than be reassured that indeed they are loved.
i dont know the nature of your relationship with your mother, but parents can sometime behave like children. they are human after all. She sure knows that you do care but the argument and her helplessness over her loss is obviously too much for her to take.
2006-08-16 18:59:23 · answer #10 · answered by sparemeaparadigm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋