As I'm talking to my fiancee she might start to get happy and excited about something she's talking about, say a joke or a funny story, then she'll look at me hoping I'll respond with the same high level of energy and excitement about the issue. I'm entertained, but not as excited about it as she is. I don't know what to do, so I smile really big and laugh a little. If I don't say anything it would make her feel uncomfortable about herself. She sees that I don't share the same excited energy and begins a slow retreat to end that conversation, which sucks.
How can I respond so that she will feel encouraged to continue and talk?
2006-08-16 11:17:17 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Man, you are quite an aware and caring guy, it seems to me.
Might sound crazy, but you've phrased this so gently and with such insight that I think you should tell her exactly what you've told/asked us here. It will help her know you're interested, which she does want. She might also be able to suggest how you can respond that would be rewarding to her.
I'm SO glad you're taking a look at this now. I'm hearing that you don't just want her to shut up, that you are willing to listen and to have give and take. You may not be willing and able to act exactly as she hopes -- you may have to let her know, if being yourself doesn't mean reacting as she wants. But do emphasize that it's NOT that you're uninterested, and that you DON'T want her to back off a topic just because you aren't perfectly equally enthused.
Gee, if if my ex had had your attitude and willingess to communicate, we might not have let a 20 year marriage go down the tubes :-( I don't think perfect compatibility or perfect matching up of responses is the goal. What you're trying to do -- keep lines of communication open, fine-tuning where you can toward better harmony, showing that despite whatever mismatches of approach to things may happen, you do really care about her -- is a great thing. I've heard, and believe, that if fiance(e)s and spouses would just commit to doing that ten minutes a day without fail, it would go a LONG way toward making a marriage really happy and solid.
Good luck, and God bless you both -- you can do it, guy!!
2006-08-16 11:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either you play along or explain to her that you love her jokes but you just dont have the high level of energy and excitement that she has and that you surely enjoyed each and every conversation that you had with her.
2006-08-16 18:23:29 · answer #2 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go like: Oh my God that's so totally like so very cool ugh like wow hehehehe its like *scream* Lol.
It's really simple, I think a big smile and a giggle would do!
2006-08-16 18:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by I Am Jack's Wasted Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋