This isn't just some stupid joke question, it's actually a serious question, so please don't think i'm just messing about - i'm honestly asking for advice, this problem is driving me nuts.
When I first started having sex with my boyfriend I thought condoms were really great - just having them out was a turn-on just because I knew it was going to lead into sex. However, recently things have changed.
I started to think a lot about having sex without a condom. I'm on the pill but my boyfriend won't even think about the idea - he wants to keep sex totally safe and child-free! I don't want a baby, but I do want sex without a condom.
I even had a dream that I was being examined by a male nurse, and we just started having sex - and the most erotic thing for me was that it was condom-free.
I just like the spontieity & the idea that we're actually touching down there, and him coming inside me, it's a real turn on.
It's started 2 be all I can think about, what can I do?
2006-08-16 11:00:55 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The pill is very effective against birth control - more effective than a condom. Make sure your boyfriend knows this. Also, go get checked for STD's - just to make sure. Then, you know, as long as you take your pill strictly, that it's safe to have sex without a condom.
Personally, I think it's nice that your guy is being responsible.
2006-08-16 11:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by theaterflicka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me say, with the risk of sounding like a religious fanatic, that condom-free sex is the way God intended it to be.. dah. It seems kinda ironic that all the do-good-people that once said condoms are from hell (cause the Pope said so) now are jumping to defend them, not forgetting to put in the famous "abstinence is the best protection" bullsh!t.
Firstly, the bad parts: yes, you cand get: pregnant, STDs, AIDS, warts, messy, bored, sticky, etc, etc. You will need to take precautions for all these things: birth control pills (will also help you with any mentrual cycle problems that you may have - BUT please have an ObGyn prescribe them to you, there are a lot of compositions out there and you need to find the ones that are just right for you - family planning also works, and they may even give you free ones). Get yourself and your boyfriend to a clinic to test for STD, Hepatitis, HIV, or you may try donating blood - sometimes they do these tests for free in exchange for your blood (talk about signing a pact with the devil...). This is very important, there are some things that you can be infected with even if you are virgin (Hep B for example, higly contagious). I get the tests done every 3 months donating blood.
The good parts - there was a guy that said that women do not feel the difference... that is cr@p. You do. and it's so much better for the guy also, once you get used to it. It's natural, and it's ok. Let no one tell you that you are the fraky one for wanting this, you are perfectly normal. The ones that are afraid to have sex the way it has been done for 1,2 million years are the freaks, if any. If you are protected in other ways, it's the most beautiful thing. For one of my answers on this matter check this out:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At_PQ62HaCHXR.9qDBtptyXsy6IX?qid=20060816125204AArhkzh
The relationship - you need to find firstly if your boyfriend is on the same wavelenght with you. He might be just scared. But that is no way to live you life. Talk to him. Generally speaking, sex is at least one third of every important relationship, and if it doesn't work, than the relation fails... Think about it, don't pressure him and meanwhile get to the good ole doc.
Hope I helped.
2006-08-17 02:02:02 · answer #2 · answered by Paul C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you wanna play the safe route you both should go get checked out first. Once everything is cool start playing little sex games like put a condom on him and suck it and just be like "it would feel much better if it was off." Or strip for him or play with yourself in front of him, I mean anything to get him turned on and make him want it. Then just be like "I would just do your brains out right now but that condom of yours totally kills the mood." I guarantee he couldn't take it and that would be some bomb *** sex right there.
2006-08-16 11:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Lucky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control yourself. Your bf is doing the right thing. You say I don't want a baby but...like its no big deal. Kids are a lifetime commitment and if I was your bf and you pushed the issue I would simply quit having sex with you at all. Basically what I'm saying is get over it and get a grip on yourself. You make it sound like you are some helpless slave to your fantasies. If you think you are grown up enough to be having sex then you should be grown up enough to have some self control too, thats what being a grown up is. Making decisions not based on fantasies or what you want at that moment but making them based on whats good for your life.
2006-08-16 11:07:03 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having those feelings are normal. My husband and I always wear a condom every time we have sex, just in case, but I always feel like something is missing. What you need to do is really communicate with your boyfriend. Just tell him why you want it, and try to think of a way it would work. Talk to your doctor, perferably a female (ah, sorry. Couldn't resist). There has to be something you can do. Email me for more info if you want.
nightschild789 at gmail.com
2006-08-16 11:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by Alexgurl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have learned that in some cases men are really just safe and are scared of getting a girl pregnant or they are guilty because they do have something and they care about you and don't want to pass it on! sex without condoms is fun but i just got pregnant and now i am really regretting it and i was on the pill so really think about if you are ready to take the responsibility of having a kid cause its hard
2006-08-16 11:08:29 · answer #6 · answered by jdsb121305 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you use non-lubricated condoms, you (meaning women) won't be able to tell the difference between having one or not. You're just not that sensitive down there.
You should also consider the fact that your boyfriend probably won't be able to last as long without a condom, as the direct skin contact will arouse him much more quickly.
I suggest the Kimono brand if you can get them. Non-lubricated and very thin.
2006-08-16 11:06:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are old enough then get married and have all the unprotected sex you want. But if you still in school, STOP now. Even using a condom will not always protect you from STD or AIDS
2006-08-16 11:09:08 · answer #8 · answered by mo_nut53 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try talking to your boyfriend and telling him exactly how you feel, and hopefully he will understand. If you are on the pill, you can still have "child free" sex. It will in fact be more enjoyable. Assure him that you really like the idea of sex without the condum. If you are afraid of getting pregnant, just avoid having him *** inside you, that should work. Good Luck!
2006-08-16 11:07:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like you are starting to get bored with the sex you are getting from your bf. And thats the reason why you are getting this kind of thoughts. Safe sex is always great and im sure both of you can find ways so that you wont have the thoughts that you are having right now.
2006-08-16 11:06:31 · answer #10 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋