I recenly found out that my mom is moving her birthday party to the weekend I was supposed to fly to LA to help a girl I want to date move to her new apartment. We had this planned for about a month already, but my mom just told me an hour ago about the party. What do you think I should do? Should I go the party and drop the plans with this girl I like, or should I make it up to my mom another day, and go see the girl I might love? What do you think is right in this situation?
2006-08-16 10:53:49 · 27 answers · asked by MM 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Should the girl be understanding, and let me go to my mom's birthday or does she a right to be upset if i go, and not help her?
2006-08-16 10:54:50 · update #1
great, I told her the situation and now shes upset. I didnt tell her what I was going to do yet.. help!
2006-08-16 10:56:58 · update #2
Sorry I cant take her to San Francisco, she lives in LA.
2006-08-16 10:59:21 · update #3
Well shes not "upset" shes just unhappy at thinking that I might not come..
2006-08-16 11:04:50 · update #4
thanks for your feedback!
2006-08-16 17:21:08 · update #5
If she was counting on your help and arranged it so that you would be there to help her then hec yes she should be upset. Moving is a pretty major undertaking and it probably isn't something she can do all by herself. Bailing on something like that would be the end of you for me if I was her. Your mother didn't know you had plans to go? Is it possible that she did this on purpose to try to keep you from going? I think your mother was very rude here and inconsiderate. Apparently the party is NOT on her actual birthday and could be held some other time. I would honor my commitment to help a friend move, it isn't even about maybe loving the girl its about you said you would help and she counted on that. Do something else with your mother, take her to dinner or something but tell her you have plans that weekend. If she really wants you there she will move the party. If she doesnt' then it obviously isn't a big deal to her if you aren't there. If it was my son I would fully expect him to keep his word to his friend and his absence at the party would be on me.
2006-08-16 11:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who did you tell about the situation? When you said you her, is "her" your mom or the girl? Did you tell your mom about your plans before she changed her birthday party? I would tell your mom that you love her more than anything but you made plans a month ago to to fly out of the area to help a friend move. Show her your plane ticket. I am not sure if you can change the date on the ticket, quite often you can not, so let your mom know that you can't change your departure date. Also let your mom know, if this is in fact true, you picked the date that you did for your trip, because you thought her birthday party was on a different day. Family is most important, but family also realizes that if you make a commitment to someone, weather you shell out the cash for a plane ticket or not, you have to follow though on your commitments. Also though, make the commitment to your mom that you and her will do something very nice when you get back, just the two of you. Send her some flowers just so she knows you are serious, and what ever you do, do NOT forget to call her on her actual birthday to wish her a good day and to thank her for being such a good mom. Good luck!!
2006-08-16 11:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by Josie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can look at it both ways, you made a promise to this girl that you would help her, how did you know that the b-day party would be moved, but if you cancel on her, the girl will just think that you are a mother's boy and not give you the time of day. On the other hand, your mother will always be there for you and there is no guarantee that sparks will fly and there will be a lasting relationship with the girl. I say that I would explain the situation to your mom and tell her that you already had plans prior to her b-day party. There's nothing more powerful than your word. Always keep it.
2006-08-16 11:04:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
RELAX...... I have a great idea. Explain to your mom that you have alternate plans the day of the party so you'll make it up to her by taking her out to dinner. This way your mom gets to spend time with you for her birthday and you get to help your "friend" ! If you made a commitment to help the girl move then it's best that you stick to your word. She's more then likely depending on you to help her move. Your mom will understand !!!! Good Luck and have fun in LA !
2006-08-16 11:00:46 · answer #4 · answered by smorgan1124 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DUDE! what are you thinking. Give the mom an early card and a kiss. You had these plans. Your mom changed hers. Do you really think mom is going to be upset? She probably planned her party around you being gone so she could have some fun. Guys who give up potential women for mom stuff, well you know the tag........
2006-08-16 11:01:50 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well whats the real date of your moms birthday? You should give your mom her gift and let her know you had these plans set in place before she moved her party. Your mom knows you love her and she loves you, so it shouldnt be a big deal.
You should stick to your word and and go and help this girl, she may be the one. Your moms gotta another birthday coming up, right?
2006-08-16 11:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by Elle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you were changing the plans for a friend or a cousin then maybe she would have the right to be upset but it's your mum so no. if you think you might be in love with this girl then her and your mum are going to have to get along to a certain degree and ditching her party to help your girl move would not be a good place to start. be honest with this girl and i'm sure she will be understanding. you really don't want to start a relationship with a girl who would be upset that you want and should go to your mum's birthday party. good luck.
2006-08-16 10:59:12 · answer #7 · answered by burn 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you had any integrity, you would keep your plans with the girl. She has been depending on you, so don't let her down. Tell your mom the truth about the situation. She should be very proud of you for being a "man of honor" by keeping your word. Tell her you'll make it up to her another day. Go for it!
2006-08-16 11:07:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, your "additional details" change things a bit. My first thought was that you should get together with your girlfriend. Your mom would understand. But now that your potential girlfriend is getting all upset, I think she lacks a bit of understanding and it sounds like you're allright with her as long as she can use you. In this case, I say go to your mom's birthday party. If that screws things up between you and your girlfriend, then it was just a matter of time anyway.
2006-08-16 11:02:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You dont want the new girl to think you are a momma's boy do you. Go with the original plan, and make it up to mom when you get back. Maybe even get her a gift from there if you have time and bring it back with you. At least she will know that you were thinking of her while you were gone.
2006-08-16 11:00:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋