So I have been dating this guy for the past 2 months and we are growing really close. he is so sweet, honest and tender it blows my mind. he is intelligent, caring and pretty amazing personality wise. he is great looking too, and pretty much what i would imagine my "dream guy" to look and be like. He is in tune with his feelings and tells me often how much he cares for me.
the thing is, i care about him too. it started out with me only wanting a one nite stand with him (which never happened) and now its progressed to a "relationship".
I find that i am truly starting to fall for him, and when i think that i get a little "gun shy". i find myself pulling back, thinking about things, over analyzing and worrying about the future.
I dont WANT to pull back from him. I want to give him what i can and see where this goes. BUT at the same time i am afraid of getting hurt (i know you have to get hurt sometimes to find out)
How do i keep myself from pulling away from him?
2006-08-16 10:14:41 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just try to quit being so pessimistic. Allow yourself to be vulnerable to see what happens. If you don't and you run him off, you will probably be wondering "what if" for the rest of your life.
2006-08-16 10:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I would like to say: Welcome to the Human Race, and it's great to hear that you have found someone you can feel this way about
Now, we all go through this some sort of thing. If you have found someone that wonderful, don't take it for granted. It's a rare thing.
I can't promise that you won't get hurt. There is no certainty in life. It's perfectly fine to take things slow.
I would guess that the two of you talk, just talk. YOu don't need a one night stand, in fact it's best not too in this sort of relationship. Go out together, share each other's company. Public places like the mall, the movies, dinner.
You also need to tell yourself: To not judge, either yourself or him.
Give it a chance and you will be glad you did
2006-08-16 17:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Karce 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't stop yourself from pulling back, you are not ending it, just taking some breathing space. Relationships do that, they breath. It sounds like this guy might just be the one for you, I am not denying that, if that is true, pulling back and breathing just prepares you for the next level. If your heart is saying something else, you need to know that as soon as possible too, for the sake of both of you. You don't even have to express your doubt to him, just back up a little, it gives him a chance to fill the space. If this is meant to be, taking a little time to be sure will not hurt it at all, just strengthen it.
2006-08-16 17:24:19 · answer #3 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two months is not that long. You should tell this man that you feel drawn to him yet protective of your feelings at the same time, and that you need time to become adjusted to being in the relationship. If you continue to hold back you risk missing out on a wonderful relationship. If you give in you risk getting hurt, but you could get to a whole other level. Give it a shot.
2006-08-16 17:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally if he is as great as you say he is, I really see no reason to pull away from him. Take it slowly and enjoy each other. Don't mention the future. Just enjoy the moment. Everyone is afraid of getting hurt in a relationship. Trust in him. He doesn't seem like the type of man who would intentionally hurt you.
2006-08-16 17:24:00 · answer #5 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax and enjoy the ride. If you spend too much time worrying about where the relationship is going you wont have much time to enjoy it. Deal with the hurt if or when it happens. This wont be your first time being hurt or your last so put the relationship on cruise control and let it take you wherever.
2006-08-16 17:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by ariola2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a deep breath and relax. Just go with it. Yes you may get hurt but if you don't try, you may lose the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't over analyze if you can help it. Easy to say, hard to do but you should follow your heart. You put too much pressure on yourself.
2006-08-16 17:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by justme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well by being aware that you are doing things to "pull away" from him. My best friend has the same problem whenever someone gets to close she does something to push him away. She calls me and takls to me for advice. Hopefully you have someone you can talk to too and have them help you sort out things and see if you are just trying to "push" him away or if there is a real problem...
2006-08-16 17:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by ny3boys 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you enjoy his company and you think of him often and you want to see where things go. That way neither of you are expecting anything from the other, it just gives you a chance to progress.
2006-08-16 17:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by Moxie1313 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just go for it and find out what happens, if it doesn't work out at least you will have good times to look back on. If you don;t let yourself go with it you will never form a relationship. If he is as wonderful as you say, go for it with him.
2006-08-16 17:21:04 · answer #10 · answered by Footy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋