Sometimes I daydream about killing myself. I'd never actually do it,though. How many of you do that?

Question

I've been going through some really tough times for about a year now, and it seems like they just keep getting worse. I've been on antidepressants for a month, and I think that's helping a little, but I'm going to get my dosage upped.

In the meantime, in the last month, things have been REALLY hairy. I've noticed that when I get my lowest, I like to escape into a fantasy about suicide where I'm slitting my wrists and drifting out of existence. I'd never actually do it, because I hope and believe things will start looking up for me, and plus because I don't want to cause any more problems for my parents. I'm going to go see a therapist next month, because I want to fix this.

My question is, how many of you experience the same thing?You'd never REALLY kill yourself, but you find it kind of calming to think of it, all the same?

Answer 1

What you are describing is called "suicidal ideation" in clinical terminology. Suicidal ideation without "intent" and a plan to carry it out is usually not considered a psychiatric emergency. However, suicidal ideation does usually indicate a case of clinical depression that has become severe. You are on track with the idea about getting your doctor to increase the anti-depressants. You might also describe your suicidal fantasies. Note: This will not result in your being hospialized as long as you clearly state that you have no intention or plan to actually kill yourself.

I'm glad you plan to see a therapist next month, but if it is possible, please see one sooner. The reason is that with the disease of clinical depression, suicidal ideation can become more intense, resulting in stronger desires to actually take your life. Before some people know it, they are developing plans to kill themselves, writing suicide notes, or giving valued possessions away to loved ones. In other words, it "creeps up on you." Rarely does anyone just wake up in the morning and decide in one day to kill themselves, unless that person is extremely impulsive and NOT suffering from clinical depression but difficulty tolerating the frustration of life (as a general rule.)

Once you reach the point when you are seriously contemplating suicide, it is either too late to get help or you could end up hospitalized (which is costly and unpleasant in many respects.)

All the best wishes to you. Once you are either on the correct anti-depressant or the right dosage for you, you will begin to feel better. Don't give up. However, when you notice yourself romanticizing death, sometimes, it also helps to consciously change your fantasy scenario to a different (but less scary) escape.

Answer 2

I am definately not a "Church going person"--never have been. But I think that the fundamental premise of people getting together every Sunday is to help other people. Dreaming of suicide is not a good hobby. Your going "...out of existence," will come soon enough. Try attending church a few times. Not just one, go to all different denominations. Find a group you can relate to.

Answer 3

You must remember, dreams are in symbolic form. Showing something other than what you actually are visualizing. Would indicate you are having some rather tough decisions you have to deal with. You are not getting it done at the subconscious level.. Should remind you to get busy and do something consciously.

Answer 4

Casey,

I hope things work out for you. I really do. Try and start looking for the positive aspects in your life. I know it can be hard especially when negative after negative almost stalks you but what doesn't kill you will keep you stronger.

Don't give up girl you are in my prays......

Answer 5

it truly is standard. in fact it each now and then does merely what you reported, makes us sense more effective on suitable of problems with the problem. in the adventure that they don't study about it, it gained't harm them, and it's going to make you sense more effective efficient, and probably help you launch a number of those pent up emotions in course of them. you're ok. do merely not ever attempt to do it truly!

Answer 6

Casey-

Im in a situation where I have thought of it an think I'm not serious...but sometimes I wonder may I take that step. Babe, talk to someone about it, you're too nice to lose.

Answer 7

don't delay. get some help. and get off the drugs. There's more to life than drugs.