My fiance gave me an engagement ring which I really don't like. I appreciate the gesture more than he will ever know and have told him as much but when I brought it up subtely that it is not really my style (and it is REALLY not!) I think it hurt his feelings.
If I bring it up again it will hurt them even more. I believe in honesty but I don't know what to do without hurting him.
2006-08-16 09:29:27 · 32 answers · asked by gojulie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just to answer some questions, the ring itself is not actually a normal engagement ring but a "costume jewelry" cocktail ring. It would be next to impossible to even fit a wedding band next to it.
2006-08-16 10:01:45 · update #1
Wow, this is a tough one. I see both sides; so here you go, for whatever it's worth.
First, the fact that you want something that pleases you is not being selfish. An engagements ring is a BIG deal to a woman. If this were any other gift other than an engagement ring, I'd say grin & bear it. It is a betrothal ring that is worn [usually] for a lifetime. It is something a woman wants to show proudly to everyone. Something that pleases her when she look sat it.
I am sure that your fiance's feelings were a bit hurt. We like to think we know our partner. I'm sure he chose one he THOUGHT you would like, because HE liked it.
But, I hate to break it to everyone, men & women are different. They operate from different centers. (Which is usually a good thing.) I'm also surprised you didn't get one that looked like a fishing reel!
And people's tastes vary as well.
Men must realize too, that something this big a deal, should be done together. I know the fantasy of the perfect night, the perfect proposal, she says yes, the perfect ring, it fits her , she thinks it's gorgeous & we all live happily ever after.
Now back to reality.
I'm sure he wants you happy. And I'm sure he's kicking himself for not taking you with him, ring shopping. But men need to realize that when you plan a surprise..... you indeed get a surprise! Really, the proposal should be the only surprise.
Sit him down & tell him you love him. And that there is nothing more in this world you want than to be his wife.
Ask him to call the jeweler to let them know & you both go choose the ring. This isn't the first time this has happened. They'll help you out.
Good luck to you both, & Congratulations.
2006-08-16 11:11:41 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ugly Engagement Rings
2016-09-28 14:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by Erika 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your wedding ring worth him being sad?
How's this . . . you get to pick out your wedding bands together. Why don't you wear your engagement ring and make sure that you get a wedding band that goes really well with it.
A lot of couples get what they can afford first, and upgrade later. One thing you may be able to do is, at your 5 year anniversary (if this ring is still a problem) is to get an 'upgrade' by taking the same diamond and putting it into a new setting.
If the diamond is the problem (you wanted Princess and he got you Round) then I would say that if you really love him, you will understand that he spent a long time and a lot of money on that ring, and that it is a symbol of the love you share. If you cannot get past the "ugly" engagement ring (and i have never ever heard anyone call their engagement ring "ugly) then you may just have found an excuse to address a bigger problem in your relationship.
2006-08-16 09:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by swhertzberg 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Ugly Wedding Rings
2016-12-12 08:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one.
One the one hand if you keep your mouth shut then you are stuck with an ugly ring. Something that you don't like. That you have to look at every single day. It reminds me of Sex and the City, where Aidan get Carrie an ugly ring. Anyway she says how could he not know the ring is not me? I mean he should know you well enough to know what your tastes in lots of things are.
What you should do is have someone else mention that the ring is not really you. It would be better that someone else suggest it than you. But make sure the person who makes the suggestion know what type of ring you really do like so then, that person can offer to help him find you a new ring!
2006-08-16 10:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by adrianasalgado2002 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh God that's awful! My husband insisted I go ring shopping with him so that we could pick out my ring together - and I am so glad we did that. He actually ended up picking out my ring and I fell in love with it...but some guys are just not good at things like that.
You need to tell him because you will always be unhappy wearing that ring. I like the idea of two people going together to look because then they'll pick something they both like. After all, that's what marriage is all about - doing things together.
So bring it up...it will be hard, but you need to say something! Engagement rings are very important.
OK here's another option -- live with it for a few years and then upgrade. That would work out good!!
2006-08-16 09:34:35 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may not be your style, but it might be what he can afford. Of course it will hurt him for you to say that. He might have liked it in hoping you would really appreciate it and love it as much as he does. It is not about the ring, it is about what the ring represents. Some people would be happy to get a ring they do not like and knowing that someone truly loves them enough to put one on their finger. I don't know either of you, but I will say to you, if he is a really nice person who respects you, get over how the ring looks and just be happy to have someone like that. Some people are still looking for a wonderful person to be in their lives. Some people even change their whole wedding and engagement ring set on their first anniversary. Maybe you can do the same and he will be able to afford a nicer one then. Congratulations!!!!
2006-08-16 09:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by killerlegs 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You only have to wear it for a little while! Just wear it for the engagement period, then switch to wearing your wedding band after you get married. At that time, put the e-ring in storage.
People wearing both their engagement and wedding rings at the same time is actually a very recent fad. You'll actually be more traditional if you just wear the wedding band after you're married.
I think it would be unsentimental and unkind of you to upgrade or trade in your engagement ring. It's a "token" representing a sentiment, not a fashion statement or status symbol.
2006-08-16 12:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Is it that you really hate the ring for itself, or that you couldn't fit a wedding band near it? If it's the latter, simply move the engagement ring to another finger after your wedding day.
If you truly hate the ring itself, then you have an issue here which relates to how you and your fiance respect one another's taste. Since you are the one wearing the ring, I'd defer to you here. Explain to him again that you really want to wear his engagement ring, but the one he picked wasn't the right style for you. It's the same as if he brought you lemon ice cream and you say, "Honey, I really appreciate the gesture, but I can't stand lemon ice cream. Next time, could you please bring me butter pecan or another flavor?"
Allow him his hurt feelings, but after a short while he should get over it. He should be willing to have you help him shop for a new ring. (BTW, please don't rake him over the financial coals. Get a ring which he can afford and with which you're both comfortable.)
If you two can't compromise or come to a satisfactory about this issue, think again about marrying each other.
2006-08-16 10:58:10 · answer #9 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Ugly engagement ring?
My fiance gave me an engagement ring which I really don't like. I appreciate the gesture more than he will ever know and have told him as much but when I brought it up subtely that it is not really my style (and it is REALLY not!) I think it hurt his feelings.
If I bring it up again it...
2015-08-05 23:02:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋