My bf and i have been together for over 3 years and live together. He has a problem playing on-line poker and has let me set all of his passwords to keep him from losing too much. Instead he just bugs me until I enter the password. Last night he started losing money and I took the computer away from him. It ended in a big fight, and he has the nerve to be mad at me. He's horrible when we fight, and refuses to talk through the issues. I've tried to be patient and work with him on communicating, but nothing seems to help. I love him and I know he's a good guy deep down, but he can be very selfish and stubborn. How much should I take?
2006-08-16 09:24:48 · 36 answers · asked by the eskimo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You just gotta think about this ONE question - that's what it all comes down to..
"Do I want a lifetime of this"
That should give you your answer....
Good Luck, Marilyn
2006-08-16 09:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
that's a bummer of a situation if he's an othewise good guy. But sounds like he has a bit of an anger/temper issue as well. It's not really about the poker. Maybe suggest (when he's in a normal mood, not an angry I-must-play-poker mood) that the two of you go to a session or two of therapy (just might help if you go with) and see if a professional can help him out with his issue. He's clearly TRYING to fight the problem if he asked you to set his passwords - he's not hopeless - you just need to do something about it before it's a bigger problem.
Good luck!!
2006-08-16 09:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by raquel122203 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea if it continues along those lines. I would go buy him a new game or such. gambling is gambling plain and simple. If you don't know when to quit and apparently he doesn't or he wouldn't have let you set the passwords then its a big problem. If he just likes poker time to go out and buy a poker set and start playing for odd jobs around the house and such best advice i can give but playing for actual money needs to stop IMO
2006-08-16 09:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by Titanic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your questioning it then maybe you should end it! Only you know in your heart how he is. You can't change a person no matter how much you think you can. The fact that he doesn't communicate well with you over a 3 year period means there are signs of trouble. Too often we stay in relationships because they are convenient and you get used to that other person being there even though the relationship maybe unhealthy. Life is too short to be in those kind of situations. Enjoy life, make decisions and move on. Good Luck to you.
2006-08-16 09:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by ChicaLoca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gambling is an addiction that can take over your entire being. It's happening to your boyfriend. if he does not seek help to bring him through this addiction, it will get worse. imagine marrying him and ya'll have a mortgage payment, but instead of paying it he gambles the money away? and you lose your house? and you are homeless, with no place to go. what then? I know I am going a little overboard, but it has happened to other people in the past. and if you don't nip it in the bud, it could happen to you.
good luck, and I hope he decides to get help for his addiction...(for the sake of your relationship.
2006-08-16 09:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by one_sera_phim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should take absolutely no more. You are his girlfriend, not his mother. If he needs babysitting, you don't need him. Believe me, I just divorced the guy I was sure would grow up one day. I married him 7 years ago and we dated for 3 years before that...I wasted a decade of my life on a loser that will never change. Your guy won't either. There's a difference in looking for the best in people and letting yourself get pushed around and putting up with way too much.
2006-08-16 09:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by Jan S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to ask yourself how much are you willing to take. I think that from the way it sounds he has a gambling problem. That could be a problem. Maybe try councling. Try to work things out. Lay down some rules and talk If hes a really good guy hell listen. Just dont take him to VEGAS!!!!!!! lol GOOD LUCK
2006-08-16 09:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by lilbit123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These things have become very addictive for many persons...and as with all addictions preventive measures must be taken before things get out of control...since your efforts of controlling his use still result in unwanted arguments then he needs to kick the habit and play games for fun...not real $$...I'd use that as my last straw and if he can't control this then let him be out of control on his own.
2006-08-16 09:33:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Express to him the seriousness of the situation. Let him know that this gambling thing may effect your relatiopnship and tell him to get it under control. There are many groups for people that have gambling problems and also therapists who can help. But if he is on a constant downhill slope with this..I'd suggest calling it quits.
2006-08-16 09:29:52 · answer #9 · answered by Ronijn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should fight or argue over something so little though. maybe it is a mind easer and you are putting a limit on what he does. he feels as though you are trying to be like his mother. just let him do what he wants and in the future when he ask why didnt you stop me or take it away say why would i want to do that so you can argue with me. life is to short to argue over silly thing my mom always says. love him instead of fighting with him.
2006-08-16 09:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by Kesha 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah this is not likely to go away. What happens when you get married and he taps into your joint funds, can't make a house payment or can't buy food for your kids.
If he will get help I would say support him and hope that things work out, if he refuses then you have a choice to make.
2006-08-16 09:31:47 · answer #11 · answered by tm_tech32 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋