We have been dating for two years and he wont do anything with me that doesnt make him happy to, even if it makes me happy. he doesnt get along with a large portion of my family and refuses to go to family outings with me. He really doesnt do a whole lot and is obessed with movies. Other than those thing however he is a pretty good guy and I like his family.
2006-08-16 09:19:38 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its up to you..
2006-08-16 09:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by penda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm Down, Wild Woman!
It could be worse, he could be cheating or doing drugs, etc... Most adult women, such as yourself know what they want, but so do men. That doens't mean they have to be the same thing. Dating is just a way to test the waters on how our marriage is going to be. At least he's not lying to you by going to functions that are displeasing to him now, and then stop abruptly after the wedding. He's being honest with himself and you. Isn't that a quality you would love in your man?
It happends more often than not.Your boyfriend reminds me of my brother in law and you, my sister. He hated anything to do with family picnics or dinners at one family members house. That is just a part of who he is. Believe me when I tell you, he turned many a blind eye to my sisters' idiosyncrasies. He'd just rather stay home, He was like that since they dated. It didn't get worse after the marriage, but it didn't get better either.
The good news is they've been married almost 40 years. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you love each other, the rest will get along well. Try and turn the negatives into positives, "he is obessed with movies". Why not buy him video recorder and encourage home videos? That is something you can enjoy together. You'll be profecting your skill until for later cherished memories [movies] of your wedding or children.[?]
Make it work for you, if he's worth it and I think you know the answer to that. Another thing you said about him is, "He really doesn't do a whole lot" That can be interpreted many ways. Is his work ethic lacking? Does he work hard and doesn't have a lot of energy for play? Could he be depressed because he can feel you withdraw to his reaction or non-reaction to family functions? It can be a lot of things that only you know. Y'all need to talk. It doesn't have to be a long drawn out discussion, men hate that more than pulling teeth!
Enjoy your life and enjoy him. You'll be fine if you don't try and change him. If something needs changing, try peace within. It never fails.
Best regards,
Raylene♥
2006-08-16 15:07:59 · answer #2 · answered by Raylene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you things that he's into that you don't care for?
I would rather someone I was with stay home rather than having to worry about the fact that they are not having a good time.
However, in a relationship compromises have to be made. Sometimes even sacrifices. If this is the only issue, then I'd say no, you shouldn't break up with him. If there are other underlying issues, then you may want to re-evaluate whether you can deal with these issues for the long run.
2006-08-16 09:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Let him know that it hurts you that he doesn't get along with your family. Ask him if he's serious about you. Let him know that you need him to treat you with the same love that you treat him. Also be specific about what you want from him. If you want him to help pick up around the house let him know that it would make you so happy with him if he did. He needs to show you that he wants you and that he's willing to work at keeping you. People need to realize that love and relationships means work. When you get good at it you'll wonder why it took you so long to figure out. It doesn't even seem like work anymore. It's a blessing. Trust me I've been there
2006-08-16 09:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you see a future with him, if you want a guy who doesn't have a relationship with your family, which is a big part of you. It's ok that he's a pretty good guy, but sometimes that's not enough, as time passes and relationships develop we need more from the other person, something that tells us they're ready for more. Ask yourself if he's giving you more or if he's just stuck in the same point.
2006-08-16 09:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by interpreters_are_hot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A pretty good guy would do things with his girlfriend even if it was something he hated. He sounds like a selfish guy to me. Personally I wouldn't care if my boyfriend didnt get along with my family as long as he and I are good together, but I don't see that you two are a good match so you should really think about this relationship and what YOUR getting out of it.
2006-08-16 09:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself: can I picture myself putting up with this for the rest of my life? If the answer is NO, get rid of him. There are other guys out there that will be happy to do things with you, things that make you happy. And you might even find one that gets along with your family!
2006-08-16 09:25:06 · answer #7 · answered by prairiefire_14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of being in a relationship is wanting to be involved in your life. If he is really the guy for you he would want to get to know your family even if it killed him. He dosent sound like a "pretty good guy" if he dosent do anything to make you happy even if it sacrificed his own happiness..to me its just a one way street and relationships are 2 ways. Wish the best of luck to you honey.
2006-08-16 09:25:33 · answer #8 · answered by kelly09620 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You allready know the answer. The time you've been dating him doesn't matter if you're not happy. He's not interrested in the things that you are. He doesn't get along with your family. It doesn't sound like you share his interrests. How long will this be enough for you? Date him as long as you like but be realistic about where this is going..
2006-08-16 09:45:12 · answer #9 · answered by W0LF 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move on. If you're going to be in a serious relationship and he won't make the effort to try to at least be polite to your family, that would be horrible for any kids that you had, after all these are future aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc!. Hey, we all like and don't like some family but still try to stick together
2006-08-16 09:26:36 · answer #10 · answered by aggie babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he using drugs? maybe not around you but he is a boring F.U.C.K.
You sound young and full of energy, why waste your time and do nothing. If you can't do anything but watch movies now that you are dating what do you expect 2 3 months from now. NOTHING!!!! find someone else that has allot more in common with you and that is capable of going out and having fun.
Good Luck!!
2006-08-16 09:26:42 · answer #11 · answered by latina lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋