I'm scared of what the future holds for violent li'l cousin.?

Question

My cute li'l cousin is 6 years old and is very rowdy and violent. He always kicks my nuts, wrestles, spits, headbutts, jumps on, throws hard things at me, insults, me and always beats me up whenever we baby sit him. And then he would easily cry on small things. But I'm usually ok with it since I know he is still young and is in that stage. But what really scared me is when we were at Costco and he was being his usual self and suddenly he turned to me seriously and said that "I like hurting people.. and I don't know why?".. his face was really serious, eyes were bulging, devilish look on his face, and he looked like the boy from omen. He scared the s h i t out of me that day. I thought he was possesed or something. I explained to him that it is wrong but he doesn't seem to listen and continues on doing it. Do you think my cousin is a making of a psycho serial killer or a masochistic person when he grows up or is it just normal for a young boy to be like that?

Actually he does really good at school. has nice non-violent parents, and behaves when he is with others. But when he is with me, he goes postal. His parents know what he does and they usually talk to him and he usually listens. But when we are alone is different.

Answer 1

PLEASE READ FOR YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE

This reminds me of when my daughter was little.
She was (and still is) VERY smart.
Would get rowdy when I was around (not to the extent of your cousin but bad enough), cries easily, the whole works.
When she got angry she would involve entire buildings.
I could usually manage her but when I was not around she would be more than hell on wheels.
There is one girl in my neighborhood that refused to babysit for us ever again.
We took her to the pediatrician and found out she had allergies, we took her to the therapist for "anger issues", we took her to an occupational therapist because she had Sensory Intergration Dysfunction (SID).
That means that she gets over stimulated very easily (for her noisey places and floresent lights are big triggers)
She was in the 4th grade and was a straight A student as far as grades went.
Social skills were another matter entirely.
We had many pieces of the puzzle, but did not get the whole picture until she was 10 years old.
We took her to her therapists office but had a PHD who specialized in children test her.
It was supposed to be a 3 hour test.
3&1/2 hours later they came out (she thought it was great - it was play time all the way and she was the main focus!).
The results were the result.
By that I mean they were not specifically testing for any one thing.
It could have been ADHD, Asperger's, Autism, Bi-polar, depression, dsylexia, or any one of a number of things.
Her results were Asperger's Syndrom (which by the way in rare in girls)..
Asperger's is on the Autism Spectrum Disorder Scale (a.k.a. the scale).
There is a reason the symbol for Autism is a puzzle piece.
We had all the little pieces diagnosed - but not the big picture.
One in every 166 children has Autism.
It is not all "Rain Man" and sitting by yourself in corners rocking back and forth.
Her therapist missed it.
Her pediatrician missed it (although to be fair - they only get to see each kid for 15 - 20 minutes and they are not mental health experts).
Her teachers missed.
Her occupational therapist missed it (although again to be fair - she did diagnose the S.I.D.).

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE print all of this out and give it to your aunt and uncle.
What they can do is call the school district and ask them to come and do an evaluation.
The school district has specialists who know what they are looking at (be it any of the above "issues").
These people are professionals - not just teachers with a couple of psych classes on the side.
They have the hours and hours it takes to get a proper diagnosis.
Your aunt and uncle are already paying for these services with their tax money.
We did not know that we could request and evaluation, the request does not have to come from anyone at the school.

Our lives have been totally changed since we found out what we are dealing with.
Is every day a honeymoon?
Heaven's no.
But now we have coping mechanisms in place.
We undertand that she is wired differently and it will take different stratagies than what we are used to.
AND - she is so much better for knowing.
What she told me after we found out - now I know that it's not because I wasn't trying hard enough or that I wasn't good enough, it's just because I'm wired differently.

Answer 2

I think that you should mention to his parents what is going on, and if he's doing this a lot, then he should be looked at by a psychiatrist. I know a little boy who's had many of these violent tendencies to the point that he kicks his seventy-something grandfather in the shins and bites him for no reason. I think that suggesting to his parents, and letting them know that there is help out there for him, and for them, will be appreciated, but if not, then just be glad you tried, and tell them you won't be able to babysit for him anymore. It is better to catch these things while the child is still young, and this isn't a typical stage of behavior for a child. Just remember that. Hope all works out well!
Melissa

Answer 3

I get this feeling that your cousin's parents are pretty well aware of this and there's more going on in that household than meets the eye .. there are only these factors that contribute to that kind of violence ..

a) father is abusive .. believe me even the most polite of people and even the most unlikely people turn out violent ..

b) peer pressure from school .. he's trying to fit in at school because a bully is present and putting pressure on him

c) mental disorder .. does he do this all the time? violence at home .. violence at school .. does he suddenly out of the blue do this? bi-polar?

If it really concerns you to the point that it makes your hair stand you should consider having the parents take this child to a child psychologist and see what needs to be done to rectify this .. a friend of mine had a daughter who was spitting out curses and throwing in anger time and again until she relocated the child to another school and it stopped ..

This HAS to be corrected because my daughter at one particular school .. a daycare the child bit her on the shoulder so hard that it left bite marks on there which didn't go away for another few months .. imagine what this child would do! he needs to be checked for his own good ..

Answer 4

Ok, this cousin of yours is really freaky, he needs to get some help now, before he walks into a school with a gun in hand and starts killing people left and right. Six year olds don't behave that way regardless of how bratty they are, it's just not normal. Get him some much needed help and tell his parents that they need to seek professional help, before it's too late.

By the way.......what state do you live in? I want to stay as far away as possible.

Answer 5

Your nephew is not a normal little boy (from the examples you gave)and him trusting you enough to tell you he likes to hurt people and doesn't know WHY is a cry for help.He needs a professional to help him and all mental health clinics go by your income incase his parent(s) can't afford it.After watching the Nanny a couple times I could not believe how much into denial parents can be.Good Luck with this ........

Answer 6

I would be concerned also, what are his parents like? Where is he seeing this level of violence? He needs to see a child psychiatrist, how is he in school? Something is triggering these feelings in him and I think the sooner these influences are identified the better the chance for successful treatment will be.

Answer 7

NO, IT'S NOT normal talk to his mom and or dad and tell them he needs to see someone NOW B4 it's too late

Answer 8

Not normal. He needs help - professional help.