My daughters dad & I have been having an affair for 3 yrs. I want 2 leave him but I love him?

Question

He has a live-in girlfriend who's he's been with for 10 years now. She knows about my daughter and that we had an affair but thinks it stopped 2 years ago.. I love him and he has promised me that we are going to be together. But I'm tired of waiting around. Everytime I try to leave him. He's able to just pull me back into him. I want to just move on. Who has any ideas of what I could do to help get over him.

He has been with a live-in gf for 10 years now. They have been miserable and seperated forever. I feel the best thing for my daughter and I is to leave him because he just promises endless promises. But he always maanges to suck me back in. I just want some other ways that others have gotten over someone they have loved and cared about so much that they did everything for. To in the end, have nothing.

They have been miserable and seperated forever. I feel the best thing for my daughter and I is to leave him because he just promises endless promises. I just want some other ways that others have gotten over someone they have loved and cared about so much that they did everything for. To in the end, have nothing.

Answer 1

Dear,
He obviously doesn't love you enough to offer you 100% of himself. Start with that truth.

Getting over him means living through the pain of separating (leaving). Waiting for a time when it doesn't hurt too much, means that you will wait forever and waste lots of your precious time. If you love him it's gonna hurt. It is a bitter pill. Swallow it and move on. The sooner you begin, the sooner it will be over. It will be hard but it's the only way. There are lots of good men out there. Work to be good enough to attract one of them and find one that is good for you. And if you can't find one right away, remember that in the end, having no man is much better than having a bad one. Good luck.

Answer 2

Just walk away. Because that gives you so much power when you can walk away from a situation when you are comfortable or complacent. You knew he was involved with this woman for 7 yrs, so did you figure by having his baby that would change anything?? You had to learn the hard way, but its ok. He's not going to leave the situation. He can have his cake and eat it too and are you worried about confusing your daughter? Kids are really smart, and Im sure if she is visiting him @ his place, he shows affection to his girlfriend ( in front of his daughter) then when he is @ your house, of course you guys are all over each other...........So if you are happy being the side girl, then do nothing, and stop talking about it

Answer 3

Why didn't the two of you work out before? Does he take care of his child as much as you take care of him? First ask yourself these questions. I would honestly have a heart to heart talk with him tell him exactly how you feel, because you know he's not leaving this other women or else who would have by now. He hasn't even married her, so he's promising you y'all gone be together? Grab this guy by the seat of pants and throw him out, of course make sure there are arrangements to take care of your daughter. People can get really petty after rejection.

Good luck with moving on, trust me time does heal all wounds.

Answer 4

You have to be the strong one. Remind your self everyday that he is using you and playing games. Block him from your e-mail, block his number from your phones or turn off your phone or ringer for a while. Do not tell him you are through. He will find a way to suck you back in. Go cold turkey. He will think you are done with him.

It will be hard but you are better off in the long run. It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Even if he comes running to you and says this time its for sure. Unless he can prove he is living alone and has ended it with the other woman...drop him like a bad habit.

It will also be good for your daughter to not see a man in and out of your life.

Be strong. Work on your self-esteem. You are too good to be with this player!!

Answer 5

You are silly because it's obvious he wants hie cake and eat it too. The most important thing is that he does not think you are good enough bedause if you were important to him, he wouldn't want anybody but you. You should not wait around for him have him play you like that. Go find somebody who is willlng to be yours and only yours. Some one who will respect you, because it shows that he does not respect you at all, if he did, he would not do what he did or is still doing.

Answer 6

Sounds like he's not going to leave her unless you show him the door and tell him he's only welcome back when he's going to be with you and you alone.

If you keep taking him back, he's going to keep doing this to you. You owe it to yourself, and your daughter to get out of this relationship and into something more stable. Do you want her to grow up thinking that being the "Other Woman" is okay, just so long as he loves her?

Don't you think it's horribly unfair on his girlfriend? Would you want the same thing to happen to you or your daughter?

Just tell him that he needs to decide and you and your little girl should stay strong.

Answer 7

If he did sense to blame over neglecting you and his baby he might have mentioned sorry (perhaps circulate off on one lower back, yet might have apologised however). You not at all as quickly as mentioned him doing that. This chap seems to me, to be, an Ar$ehole, a selfish ba$tard. He needs to regulate you and knows of he won't be ready to as long as there are good human beings on your facet who see real by using him. I constantly have self assurance that if somebody is sweet in a controversy they're going to loosen up and proceed to state their component understanding that quicker incredibly than later the different occasion will ought to accept as true with their component, or a minimum of (in the event that they are the two rational events) they are able to conform to disagree. they do no longer threaten to knock the comments out of somebody else. If he works in a foreign country and does the greater desirable/awkward hours to pay costs why does he waste the money on greater telephone costs?..............i think of all of us comprehend why. If he grow to be only going out and "enjoying the sphere" i might placed all of it the way down to suffering to come again to words with fatherhood, yet you say he's abussive AND has teenagers from a prior dating. This guy as I mentioned on the beginning up is an ar$ehole. he's a administration freak and a bully. in case you're handling to pay all the charges at contemporary then wash your hands of him. each city the dimensions and breath of eire and the united kingdom has single mothers in it in recent times. So A) it incredibly isn't any longer something to sense embarrassment approximately and B) there will be others in comparable circumstances to your self who could be happy of a chum or 2. ...................And all this coming from a guy. P.S. i'm no saint, i'm far from it, i've got made my honest share of errors, yet i wouldn't in any respect take care of everyone like he's MIS-treating you.

Answer 8

let the cat out of the bag, find out when they are both gunna be there together and show up and demand to go in and have proof on ur phone that hes called and then after his gf is pissed and hates him for cheatin on her then walk out knowing u did the right thing by having the truth come out and never talk to him again.

Answer 9

Go out enjoy your self. You are so much better then you are allowing him to treat you. He will never ever want you, execpt for to sex up when and where he wants. It's not about you. You need to make it about you. All about you. Have fun meet new people and you will find some one who want you and only you forever. Or just for one nite. SO what have fun with it.

Answer 10

You know what the right thing to do is......act like an responsible adult for a change. You want your daughter whoring around like you....set an example will ya...