How do I deal with money problems with my boyfriend?

Question

If you are married please tell me how you handle the double income, money issues. We put all of our money together and pay bills but just the frivolous (spellcheck) spending of the money is causing a lot of arguments?

Answer 1

Create a budget. You'll have to sit down and figure out how much is coming in and how much is going out. Then how much you spend on groceries and any left over goes to spending.

Also, you need to start saving now in case of emergency (ie. Loss of job or car breaks down or hospital bills).

It takes self control and both parties have to compromise or it's not going to work.

Answer 2

We combine incomes and pay out of that. However, we budget for frivolous spending. My parents used to have their spending money converted to cash and put it in envelopes. Then when someone ran to the store for milk and bread, they'd get enough out of the grocery envelope. If we were going to the movies, they'd take it out of entertainment. That way they could monitor their spending. Cash in envelopes might not be a good idea but keeping a running tally on your smaller spending may help.

Maybe just keep a tally somewhere in the house and keep track of everything. Then you can see where it all goes. Some people go down to buying a can of soda out of a vending machine just to figure out how much they are really blowing on small stuff.

But no matter what you do, you need a budget from which to start.

Answer 3

We have a joint checking account used to pay the monthly bills. We both have spending money, but for frivolous things that cost a lot we talk to eachother before buying anything. Basically, you need to sit down together and work out a budget and figure out how much extra money you have to play with. Then you need to divide the extra money up or come up with a rule that before you buy something big, you talk to the other person first.

Answer 4

I'm not married, but I can tell you something. You may be spending moneys wastely without realizing it and he see it and he may not realize how much he spent as well.

For example, do you stop by starbuck to get coffee every morning instead of make your own at home? Do you buy new make up every few days just because you don't have the specific shade of color that you want? Do you buy new clothes for a event on regular base even though you have other clothes that would work? Do you buy every new perfume that come out even when you have 50 perfume that you never use? Do you go out and club every weekend?

May you should ask your bf if he think you spend too much moneys, you will be surprise.

Answer 5

Financial help or family help?

A married couple:

Should agree on the amount to save in 401k and possibly add a mutual fund or R-IRA/IRA from each persons' paycheck. To avoid arguments this should be equal for both people, with the highest amount possible for each person.

Then, agree on an amount to put into a dual saving account: for emergency money only. Then, agree on an amount to put into a single person saving account for planned purchases - such as christmas, birthdays, dinner for two.. etc.

Then, add up all your bills, food included, and split that in two - have part of each paycheck go directly into a joint checking to pay every bill, and use only one debit card when at the grocery store.

Finally, the rest of the income is personal debt and/or personal purchases. The rest of the income SHOULD be the persons' choice, even if it's frivolous. However, this arises two problems:

1. If one person runs out of money, too bad, learn to conserve. DO NOT LEND MONEY to each other.

2. If one person makes more money than the other, too bad, the other person needs to learn to make more money.

The savings for retirement should be about equal to both, so that each one carries the same amount of the burden - but should remain separate in case of divorce the person keeps their retirement fund.

The bills should be split equally, the food as well, (but not fast food and dining food! that's personal choice!) - and "emergency funds" should be set aside as well.

However, christmas presents, etc, and personal spending is up to each person to figure out how they want to spend it - or save it to buy somethign better.

Answer 6

I think there are two good ways to handle it.

1. Combine the income, like you are doing, but agree on an allowance for each of you that you can spend without consulting the other. Anything else requires agreement.

2. Figure out a household budget (including an amount to savings), and agree on how much each of you will contribute to this, based on your individual incomes. Anything left over is your own business.

Answer 7

I'm married and we put our money together. It only works because we trust each other not to be stupid.

We set up an amount that it's OK to spend on personal stuff but if you go over that amount you have to tell the other person before you spend the money. That amount changes as our income grows.

This works very well for us.

Answer 8

My husband and I are both money-conscious. We always ask each other before buying anything. If one of us has reservations about it, we decide against it. We just recently made a budget, so I think that will help even more. But, then, money is really tight, so there's not really any left over for frivolties! If the two of you are pooling your money, you need to agree to how much you can each spend on clothes etc. And, like someone else said, premarital counseling sounds like a good idea.

Answer 9

Set up a budget where you allocate specific amounts for bills that have to be paid like: car payment, car fuel and maintenance, house payment, credit card payment(s), insurance payment, electric company payment, water company payment, etc. Stick to it and make sure you both are providing equally to these "community" bills. Then each of you donate into, what you can call the "Kitty" where you save up to spend on something each likes, but only put money in this kitty AFTER the regular bills are paid. Then also set some aside in a savings account to be used ONLY in an emergency. Another way to save money is to use coupons when you buy groceries, etc. buying items only on sale, and put what they save you into the kitty and that way you really aren't losing any money in it.

Answer 10

Did you guys have a serious discussion about finances, spending, and financial responsibility before combining financial forces? That is what most married couples without money issues do. Maybe you two should reconsider combining all your assets. Maybe you should just get a joint checking account and pay all the combined bills out of that account and not combine any additional money.