just starting to date a girl. we are both 17 and would like some advice from anyone. thanks
2006-08-16 08:33:29 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
--Is Catholic--
Yes.
My advice to you is the one that I give to everyone regardless: You can have as many friends as you want in life, but only one spouse. It is better to cultivate friendship than romance for when romance fades, if there is no friendship, then all will fail. Right now, at your age, you are very much driven by emotion and hormones. I know that is what everyone says, but that is because it is true. It does and will change, fade, and morph as you age. So whatever you do, do not build the relationship on your feelings. You must build on common interests, goals, and values. That is the bond that lasts.
Catholicism is about family, so I would recommend that you both get to know each others family. Don't spend all your time alone, but get to know her family and her friends (and vice versa). It also helps to get to know the other person better and what they are truly like.
I recommend doing Catholic things together. Christ should be at the heart of any relationship so this is very important. Go to Mass, Eucharist Adoration, talks, bible groups, whatever. You might also like to do service work together.
I do not recommend praying together alone if you are praying anything other than wrot prayers (rosary etc.) I do not recommend confiding in each other serious personal sins, troubles, or using the other person as a spiritual adviser / accountability partner unless you are very far along in the relationship and very spiritually mature. More often than not, this can lead to serious problems as emotions get confused and applied incorrectly.
Now let me speak to you as a male. The American culture is setup to treat women more like objects than persons. This might not be apparent to you. She is not a prize to be won, nor is she something you interact with to achieve pleasure. Dating is not a video game, where you try to get to the next level by achieving set goals. It is a complex situation which differs from person to person.
Women are not like men and men are not like women. We complement each other. It is important to be open to each other and speak openly about things, for men think differently than women. It is important to treat her well, and to know that there are things that she will place more value in than you will. Know those things. Also know that sentimental things impact women more so than men. This is important so you do not make things more serious than what you think they are!
Some other points: Dating is not a game. It ends in marriage. There is no reason to be dating if you do not think that you could marry this person. Don't romance each other if you are not ready for marriage in a few years or you really don't want to spend the rest of your lives with this person. Be friends!
These are mature books and deal with mature subjects (they are hard and require you to think responsibly) so I would ask your parents.
Love and Responsibility by Pope John Paul II
Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West
Again they are mature books but you are 17 and these books reveal the core of Catholic morality on marriage ethics (which I hope you have had a bit of by now). They are not some guide to dating, but they discuss real life in the light of Catholicism. This, in the long run, will help the both of you out more than a simple guide to dating. Once you have a solid moral core, you can draw upon that for any and all situations.
2006-08-16 15:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by Liet Kynes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-23 01:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2017-03-08 13:34:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....that depends a lot on how Catholic she really is.
2016-03-16 23:00:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋