Me and my gf have been going out for three months.. but we live about 3 hours away so its kinda hard to get together often... but i am completely in love with her. Every time i see her face i cant help but smile.. and every time she cries i try to be there..... even though theres a major difference in where we are. Nothing else matters to me but to see her happy...... but shes trying to break up... its not a complete break up... she just wants time to want the kind of relationship im trying to give.... she says she just wants to flirt and she cant do that since i cant be there often..... so shes saying stuff like "i do love you but i need time" and all of that... even though we both know that if i leave her for the time she says she wants.. she might fall for someone else... its not that i dont trust her to come back.. its just i dont want her to have to hurt someone else for me.... but shes also saying that she doesnt want me there today!!! WHAT am i supposed to do!?!?!?
2006-08-16 08:06:58 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
does age eally matter? oh well
were both 16
2006-08-16 08:15:28 · update #1
i think the situation here is you know what you want but she still figuring out what she wants. i guess since you are not ofter around she has thoughts that 'what if...'...believe me i have that all the time since my so-called bf is so far away...but in the end i kinda figured out that my heart truly wants my bf. i guess in time she will know what she wants and if you give her space and dont be too pushy about it, she will come around and back to you.
good luck.
2006-08-16 08:13:34 · answer #1 · answered by ashchicka2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, each of you should stop lying to yourselves and to each other. Just consider the contradictions in your question itself. 1) "I am completely in love with her," "We both know that if I leave her for the time she says she wants she might fall for someone else." 2) It's not that I don't trust her to come back . . but she might fall for someone else.; 3) she says "I do love you," "but, according to what you wrote, "she wants to flirt more often that you can be there."
You too don't love each other! Love just doesn't work that way! Love focuses on strengths, not weaknesses. Love thrives on confidence, not doubts. Love never fails!
So what should you do, after you stop lying to yourself?
Say to her: "Okay, you want some flirt time. Take all the flirt time you need. Meanwhile, I spend the time you're flirting looking for someone who will reserve all of her flirt time for me; no matter how long that is.
Have a nice day.
2006-08-16 08:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by mcjordansr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hell no.. If I was you I personally think theres something wrong here. I mean in a relationship when someone calls for a "break" , its apparently almost a break up. and one of the dudes comment said "shes leading you on" ...seems like that to me. I mean c`mon now? if yall both INLOVE this wouldnt be an issue, just got to have patience. I mean seems like she falling out of place because of the fact she dont want to see you today & she was the one to call for the "break" . I mean, talk it out seriously. See what this is going to lead, because if its not going no where than might as well move on .
2006-08-16 08:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by ashCHEEKS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wel i dont want to burst ur bubble but sincerly speaking such break ups dont reli end up coming bac.She isnt being honest with u if she wants to rediscover the relationship that means she aint feeling some thing anyway ie there is somethn that she feels is lost in what u guys hve.Yeah sure , u cant force her to stay but u do have to keep in mind that in this bresk that u r going to give each other she might meet some one new and not want to get back again so brace ur self anthing can happen but then a gain dont lose heart u knw wat they say........if u really love some one let them go and if they return then ur meant to be...
2006-08-16 08:21:06 · answer #4 · answered by blaxigal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off and quit smothering her. She clearly doesn not want the responsibility of your happiness....no one does. You are not in love, you are infatuated. She does not return the same feelings. You can't make her, or expect her to just because you feel like you do. She does not owe you anything. And you live too far to really be there for her like you should. Move closer, if you really care, but wait for her to initiate contact with you. See other people, too, besides just her. If she is really into you, she won't fall for someone else, and if she does, then she just isn't that into you. Let it be her choice. You can't make her love you, but you can annoy the heck out of her... Be less available and give her the opportunity to miss you and come looking for you.
2006-08-16 08:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either marry the girl or go find someone that's interested on the kind of relationship you want. Someone that resembles your feelings...ya know? I mean you may love the girl but there's always someone else out there that your just gonna be like "WOW...I'd move the world for that girl"...after you get to know her and everything...if you feel that way about this girl then I say hold on to her man. They don't come often and once you loose them the feelings different.
2006-08-16 08:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by OnE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, ok you added you're both 16....I personally think you're too young for long term thoughts, but you can fall in love at any age so...for future reference:
Sounds to me like you're in for heartache...
Have you told her where your heart is and that youre thinking of a future with her, uno, marriage and such? If you dont make it clear to her what you want or expect now...dont get too broken up about it. If you put it all out on the table, so to speak, and she fails to be dedicated to the same road you want with her...then you should move on sweetie.
2006-08-16 08:21:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really, it sounds like she's not as into you as you are into her. Just let her go. Then call her up an tell her about the other girls that you are seeing. Maybe shell realize what she lost and come groveling back.
Either way, you really cant DO anything. If she doesn't want to have a relationship.....it's over. Otherwise, you're a stalker, brotha!
2006-08-16 08:14:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say that she is interested somewhat (i can't say to what extent though) in someone else. you seem like a nice guy and i'd hate for you to waste your loyalty on someone that may have a wandering eye. give her the time she needs and you do exactly the same. you may find out there's something better for you too! just don't be a puppy behind her and give her the chance to make a fool out of you. sometimes the take away is what brings them back.
2006-08-16 08:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one! but i understand! i am kinda going through the same thing only i live with my bf! but he says that he thinks that he doesnt love me but he always acts like he does and like nothing is wrong or different b/t us! and he says that he needs time! all i can say is tell her how happy she makes you and that you want to make her 10 times happier! and that you are willing to wait for her! and if what she really wants is to break up then you love her enough to let her go! but only as long as you know she will be happy! good luck!
2006-08-16 08:15:29 · answer #10 · answered by I love him!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It maybe hard for you to understand but I give her what she is asking for because you cannot force an issue/relationship. Listen with you ears even though your heart is saying something different. This maybe a great opportunity for you to explore life and enjoy the opportunities that are waiting for you. If it is meant to be then it will happen without force.
2006-08-16 08:15:09 · answer #11 · answered by Lucy CIie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋