One of my friends is assuming that she is the Maid of Honor because I was the Maid of honor in her wedding. She is actually a bride's maid. My Maid of Honor is my best friend from high school. The wedding is in November. I am not sure what to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings.
2006-08-16 07:44:34 · 16 answers · asked by prettyflowertattoo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Boy that sounds all too familiar. My friend felt the same way for my wedding and she wasn't in it at all. Just tell her that you can only have one maid of honor and that this other girl you have known longer and feel that she is the better choice. You could make your friend the Matron of Honor or head bridesmaid. Just tell her how you feel. If she is a really a good friend and all that then she will understand and not get upset. I know it is hard...I have been there...you just have to say it the right way so that there are no hard feelings.
Good luck! And remember: It is YOUR wedding...YOU chose who does what NOT them!!!
2006-08-16 07:52:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She shouldn't have assumed she was going to be the Maid of Honor just because you were her's. Politely ASK her to be a bridesmaid. If she declines because she wants to be the Maid of Honor then you know she is not a good enough friend to be in your wedding at all. This is YOUR day and YOUR choice and you certainly do NOT need the drama that could come out of this.
Good luck!
2006-08-16 14:50:48 · answer #2 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
She would be a Matron of Honor because she is married. So, you can have a Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor. But if you really just want her to be a bridesmaid tell her the truth. I would suggest you have a back up bridesmaid in mind in case she decides against being in the wedding ( it happens). But if she was a true friend and relizes that the wedding is about you and your happiness. She will do whatever you ask her to do.
2006-08-16 15:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sandi J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation, except my friend lives out of state. I was the maid of honor in her wedding 6 yrs. ago and she expected the same; except I had promised since I was little to have my aunt as my maid of honor. So I sent my friend an email letting her know. I said we were having an extremely small bridal party - and we did - just a maid of honor, best man, and my nieces for flower girl and junior bridemaid. Well, 3 months before the wedding my girlfriend asks why she's not a bridemaid. I told her we were just keeping it small - and thought it was rude that 3 months before, she would ask that question. I mean, what did she think I was going to do. Your friend shouldn't ask questions, the decision is truly yours.
2006-08-16 14:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have a Maid of honor and a Matron of Honor. That way no one's feelings are hurt.
Congrats and good luck
2006-08-16 15:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the brides two sisters were Matrons of Honor and her best friend was a maid of honor. Maybe just let her roll with it?? Or tell her that there will be two?? I dunno. Good luck!
2006-08-16 14:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend shouldn't assume anything and it is your wedding so do what you want to do.
However, it is not that uncommon to have a maid of honor (high school friend) and matron of honor (other friend). I wouldn't let this ruin a good friendship.
2006-08-16 15:10:32 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a tough one, i got by that by having only one sister and one best friend, so i picked my sis.
i went to a weddign recently that had 2 maids of honor, it's something to think about. no hurt feelings and more help with the wedding ect.
2006-08-16 14:57:35 · answer #8 · answered by TN girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her and you have to tell her NOW. My gawd, woman, her feelings are going to be hurt, period. You can't avoid that. It IS going to happen. She is assuming she the MOH and you KNOW that and you are allowing her to continue to make that assumption. I'm surprised, what with all a MOH has to do (to include bridal showers) that this hasn't come to a head before this point. How unfair of you to know and not to tell her....the only person you are protecting by keeping quiet is you. Take her to lunch, at the end of the lunch, tell her you need to talk to her and then just tell her. Be prepared for an explosion, but you need to toe the line.
Be brave. It will only hurt for a little while.
2006-08-16 15:00:38 · answer #9 · answered by two 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her down really easy - let her know that you and your friend from high school have been friends for many years. let your newer friend know that you still want her by your side and ask if she will be a bride's maid.
2006-08-16 14:53:35 · answer #10 · answered by rrhiannon99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋