a blonde walks into a barber shop wearing a pair of headphones. the barber tells her she cant wear those if she wants her hair cut. she says she cant take them off. he insists. she hesitates, then takes them off. she falls asleep.
the man cuts her hair. he turns to wake her up, and she is dead. he puts on the headphones she was wearing adn hears, "breathe in, breathe out. breathe in, breath out. breathe in...."
a brunette is doing jumping jacks on the side of the road, counting, "22, 22, 22". a blonde walks up and asks to join her. she says yes. the blonde starts doing jumping jacks. she moves out into the road and is hit by a car. the brunette starts counting "23, 23, 23."
a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all abandoned on an island 100 miles away from the mainland.
the brunette decides to try to swim. she goes 1/4 of the way,gets tired, and swims back. the redhead goes 1/3 of the way, and turns back. the blond goes 99 miles, gets tired, and swims back.
a blonde is flying to houston. she is sitting in coach. as she sits, she decides, im blond, im beautiful, and i can sit wherever i want. so she goes to first class. the flight attendants all try to get her to move, but she keeps saying im blond, im beautiful, and i can sit wherever i want. finally they call the captain, and he goes to talk to her. he whispers in her ear. she thanks him profusely and leaves. everyone is amazed and are dying to know what he said. he said he told her first class wasnt flying to houston.
2006-08-16 07:54:13
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answer #1
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answered by swimma35 2
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Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT".
After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".
By the time she drove eight miles, shehad cleaned 43 restrooms.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Q: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat.
2006-08-16 07:50:27
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answer #2
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answered by ? 6
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There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5.00, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.00. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
2006-08-16 07:52:10
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answer #3
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answered by sara_nicole_bs 1
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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head are stuck on an island 20 miles away from land. The red head swims ten miles, is too tired to go further, and drowns. The brunette swims fifteen miles, is too tired to go further, and drowns. The blonde swims 19 1/2 miles but is too tired to go further and swims back.
A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are pursued by police. They see three bags and all jump in. The police come by, kick the bag the red-head is in. The red head says "meow" so the police think it's just kittens. They do the same for the brunette, and this time she says, "Ruff." The police think it's just a puppy. They kick the bag with the blonde, she says, "Potatoes!"
2006-08-16 07:46:52
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answer #4
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answered by SithGirl8 2
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A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, 'Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!'
The shopkeeper said, 'By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!'
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, 'Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!'
2006-08-16 07:46:51
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answer #5
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answered by JRob 4
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there's this blonde and she's having financial troubles. She decides to kidnap a child, so she goes to the park and picks one. She waits until it is alone then grabs the little boy. She tapes this note to his back:"I have kidnapped your child. Send $10,000 in a brown paper bag to the big oak tree in the park or you'll never see your child again. Signed, The Blonde" and she sends the kid home.
As if that weren't stupid enough, the next day she goes to the big oak tree and finds the money in a paper bag with this note: "I can't believe one blonde would do this to another."
I love that joke!!
2006-08-16 07:47:34
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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a dumb blonde, a SMART blonde, santa clause, and the tooth fairy are walking down the side walk. there's a $20 bill on the ground. who picks it up?
A: the dumb blonde,none of the others exist
why was the blonde staring at a orange juice carton. cause it said concintrate.
a blonde,a boy scout, the pope, and the president are all on a crashing plane. but there are only 3 parachotes backpacks.. imediatly the blonde grabs a backpack and jumps off. the president turns to the pope and says you take a paracute...your much more holy than,i. then the pope goes to the little boy...you take a parute you are much younger than i. the boy scout looks at the both of them and says...the blonde just took my boy scout backpack... so we can all go!
2006-08-16 07:46:10
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answer #7
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answered by trish 2
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A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."
2006-08-16 07:46:47
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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This blonde walks into a hardware store and asks the salesman, "Can I buy that microwave?"
He replies, "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So she goes home and dies her hair green. She goes back and asks, "Can I buy that microwave?"
Again, he replies, "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So she goes home and does the same thing with burnette, red, and blue. The last time she goes in she says, "How do you always know who I am?"
He replies, "Because that is a T.V."
2006-08-16 07:43:41
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answer #9
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answered by Plasmapuppy 7
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Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
Ankle holders
What do you call a bunch of blondes in a pool?
A gigantic air bubble.
Did you hear about the blonde who drowned when the pickup truck she was riding in plunged into the lake?
She couldn't get the tailgate open.
;)
2006-08-16 07:48:36
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answer #10
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answered by FairyGirl73 2
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