i have asked my cousin to be the flower girl in my wedding - she will be 3years old by the wedding date which is 3 months away! the prob is: when i asked her last year, i thought she would be more mature than she is now! she screams when she doesnt get her way and cries like crazy! she dont just scream for a few secs, bt she screams at the top of her lungs for hours at the time. i am so scared she is going to be in the church during the wedding running all over the place and screaming and laughing because she thinks she is funny! what do i do? i want her in it, but i am so scared she is going to act this way! she will not stand still! she does not act her age at all - i know 3 y/o wont stand still for long periods of time, but she acts lots younger than she should! any advice? i dont want my day to be ruined!
2006-08-16 06:38:46 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Her mother needs to put the fear of God in her for your wedding day.
I have two nieces by marriage that were my junior bridemaid and flower girl for our wedding last year - the oldest was 5 at the time, and her sister was 4. Both of them are unruly and I was incredibly surprised at how well-behaved they were. Weddings do something to kids - when they get dressed up and get attention on them, they tend to behave. But seriously, talk to this girl's mom and tell her you expect her to be on her best behavior -- it's your wedding and you deserve it perfect.
2006-08-16 06:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either she will act that way at the church, or she will chicken out and won't walk down the aisle at all. I've seen both happen.
Really, 3 years old is too young to be a flower girl. But if her parents already bought a dress, you might be stuck. Luckily, she doesn't have to stand still for very long. Have one parent with her at the back of the church encouranging her to go, and then have the other parent at the front of the church waving something the girl would really want, like candy or something. Hopefully, she'll make her way toward the waving item without much fuss.
But even she throws a fit, remember that she's just 3 years old. Everyone knows that kids will be kids, and part of the reason they're included in weddings is because of their unpredictability.
If she makes a fuss, people will look around awkwardly like they do when a kid makes a fuss in a store, and then they'll forget all about it. Your guests aren't going to sit there and think "Oh, the bride looks lovely, but she'd be so much lovlier if that child hadn't started screaming" or "Wow, this food is excellent, but it'd taste so much better if that child hadn't started screaming."
Seriously, it might be embassassing for a few people for a few seconds, but then everyone will move on. There is no reason why one screaming child would ruin your entire day. So don't stress so much!
2006-08-16 07:16:15 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just got married 3 weeks ago and we had a child that is 4 and had the same worries. It ended up being a non-issue, and everything was fine. I would just plan for her to sit down afterwards or be by someone she knows, because most kids good or bad doesn't want to sit or stand watching a wedding for 20-40 mins. Heck it was my wedding and I didn't want to stand there for 20 mins. Promise her something like a present if she does what she is supposed to. Just make sure that someone is capable of taking her out of the church if she does start to scream. I know you're worried about everything that can go wrong, and when it's all said and done, what the kids do makes the wedding better. Good luck and have fun.
2006-08-16 10:18:17 · answer #3 · answered by Go Cats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear ! This sounds like a case for a little bribery, it will probably cost you but it's only once so who cares ? Please don't let her down, she's probably very excited at the prospect of being a flower girl. Maybe there is some way you can make her feel grown up, for instance if there are any other children her age or younger attending, ask her to be in charge and to try to make sure they are well behaved, but do remember that a wedding ceremony is a long time for a 3 year old to be " perfectly " behaved. Have a great day and good luck.
2006-08-16 09:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say talk to the parents and explain the need for practice, practice, practice. Find the book on how to be a flower girl. You can't tell them you don't want her in it - I've a friend whose son was taken out of the wedding after rehearsal and she still carries a grudge. Just hope for the best and remember to laugh if it doesn't work out. Have a contingency plan with the parents if things go awry....
2006-08-20 05:22:22 · answer #5 · answered by Kristi C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is find something that she really wants or really really likes and promise her that if she is really good that she will get it at the end of the wedding. I gave my nephew a spiderman pezz thing that he really wanted right after the wedding when we were taking pics. It worked wonders cause he can be horrible. Just make sure that she knows what she is going to get but is going to have to work for it. Put a person in charge of her during the ceremony (like a younger teenager that will be there) incharge of her in case she does cry. Tell her a at the rehearsal what she will be getting (show it to her if you can) so that she knows that she has to be good. GOOD LUCK!
2006-08-16 10:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why my flower girl is 7 years old.
I worked in a day care and I know that you won't get even a 5 year old to stand still long enough for a wedding ceremony. Good luck, and best of wishes for your marriage!
2006-08-16 06:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... I would just talk to her & say: if you want to be a flower girl at my wedding, you should behave, or I will find somebody else. However, even if she is not to be a flower girl, she still is going to be on your wedding, right? And the chance of her running, screaming & laughing is the same wether you choose her to be a flower girl or not.
2006-08-16 12:50:04 · answer #8 · answered by unforgettablemauiweddings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as long as you can get her to go down the aisle without making a huge fuss, you'll be fine. After that, have an adult be in charge of her. If her parents are also standing up front than maybe an aunt or uncle or older cousin can be responsible for her when she does start to act up. Have lots of activities for her to keep her occupied, like colouring books, kids stories, stuff like that.
2006-08-16 14:19:17 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend got married a few weeks ago and her cousins were little terrors. They were very well behaved as the ring bearer and flower girl. The little girl (the same age as your flower girl) got bored so she played with the petals. She eventually calmed down after one of the bridesmaids told her to stop talking and playing. I asked my friend after the wedding about her little cousins and she said that she didn't notice. She was so focused on her new husband that she blocked out everything but him.
2006-08-16 13:42:47 · answer #10 · answered by I'm awesome! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋