Is sex a big thing in a relationship?

Question

I am with my boo for about five years, we have never had sex, being that we are christian. However, recently we have been talking about it and its start to make me think he wants it. I want to give it a try but not a 100% sure. So what should i do?

Answer 1

Yes, sex is a very important part of a relationship. It is natural and was created by God as not only a means of reproduction but as the ultimate way to show affection/love toward ones mate/partner. It can be a very beautiful experience when the two people are in love and in a committed relationship. I respect you and your boyfriend's decision to wait but, wow that is some serious will power, 5 years is an awfully long time. I could not have done it. Good luck to you both in what ever you decide. Sounds like your relationship is a very good one, sex now would probably be the icing on the cake.

Answer 2

Dear Beautiful chick,

Yousaid that you are a Christian so you should know that any intimacy between a man and a woman before marriage is sin. The Bible calls it fornication or adultery. The real question you must ask yourself is, "Am I really a christian?" You see alot of people "think" they are a saved because they go to a church, or have been baptized, or have made statements like "I've trusted in God." May I ask if you have ever read Matthew 7:21-23? The Lord tells us that on Judgment Day there will be many saying to the Lord Jesus Christ, "Why am I here? I attended church! I helped to feed poor people etc., " None of those things save you1 In fact there is nothing you can do to get yourself into the kingdom of God! Have you not read Ephesians 2:8-10 or Titus 3:5? The Bible clearly tells us that the Lord has to choose us (Ephesians 1:3-6), make the complete payment for our sins, and then apply His word to us to give us a new resurrected soul! He does ALL the work! Remember, "There is none that seeketh after God, no, not one." If you are not saved or not sure if you are saved keep reading the Bible and praying that the Lord will have mercy on you. The Bible says, "So then, faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God." "Faith" is a synonym for the Lord Jesus Christ. Christ comes by hearing His word but you can only "hear" if God has opened your spiritual ears! Why do think the Lord says so many times in His word, "If any man have ears to hear, let him hear." Remeber we are all spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:1-3), and cannot hear let alone obey. If Christ does not save us we will remain spiritually dead. And when we physically die, we will encounter the second death-damnation.
I am not judging you. But I pray that you will either get married to this man or put some distance between yourselves. In 1 John 2:3, 4 the Lord tells us how we can know that we are born again.

Answer 3

Yes it is.

1- The bible says in 1 corinthians that sex IS one of the primary reason for marriage. No, it is not the only reason, but one of the main reasons.

2- If you are a Christian, premarital sex is wrong. I am not judgmental, and there is forgiveness, but you can have an idea if you are sexually compatible without going all the way. The key is to communicate and ask the right questions in a tactful way.

3- Of course he wants to have sex. All men do. But I also believe God will bless you if you wait. If he loves you he will wait. If you decide to wait, I think it's proper to discuss sex and frequecy of desired intimacy prior to getting married. You have to make sure you two are equally yoked in the bedroom. Some people think that once a month is plenty...while others think that twice a day is too little.

4- At this point, you guys need to either break up or starting thinking marriage and soon. Personally, I could not date a woman for 5 years without having sex. If she wasn't right for me, I would breakup in 3 months. If she was right for me, I would know within 1 years and start planning marriage...so I could have sex.

Answer 4

I have no idea why you are Christian is prohibiting you from having sex - unless you don't be married to the guy. Relationships are about two things - compainionship and sex. A christian relationship to keep things moral should moving to marriage. Five years is a long time for nothing to evolved to that point and I wonder how "Christian" this relationship is. Unless your looking to become a nun or you don't like men - I would suggest you talk to your guy about marriage. Your relationship sounds almost immoral after that period of time.

Answer 5

Do whatever you want to. Listen to your brains, not your instincts. But since, he has waited for 5 years, I think he is a good natured person.

Moving a little away from the subject,

"What do you call a guy who has sex on a second date?"

"Late" LOL!

Anyways, not trying to stereotyping all men, just do whatever you want to. If you really love him, then sex won't be a problem. However, I would recommend first getting married. I had pre-marital sex and though I enjoyed it a lot, am regretting that I did not wait. If you guys do get married, then sex would be pure bliss without any guilt!

Happy Bedrooming!

Answer 6

Stay true to your heart. I'm a virgin and i'm in a relationship with somebody that was sexually active. It's hard to figure out because my girlfriend has a high sex and I want to make love to her but we don't want to rush it. If your a virgin then it will be hard because thoughts begin to flow in your head but always stay true to yourself. If your not ready then don't do it. If your not 100% don't do it. Talk about it some more and if you both can't come to an agreement wait till marriage. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

Christians don't have sex? LOL

If you're in a relationship for 5 years and haven't had sex with one another then it's about time! What's the matter? Afraid it'll ruin your relationship?

Answer 8

if sex weren't a big issue you wouldn't be concerned, right? keep talking to your boo and decide if it's the right time--always use protection, you are thinking about sex, not raising a family! making love can be beautiful, but only for the right reasons--not just curiosity.

Answer 9

I can't believe it you haven't had sex for 5 years with this dude, that is so wrong I wouldn't go for 5 weeks with out having some.
Yes you better give it up now. Is very important and you'll feel bad about what you being missing.

Answer 10

If he has stuck around this long with out it, you know that's not the only reason he with you. Girl you are a strong woman, but you have made that man wait long enough, He Deserves it now. After all this time i can almost garantee, it will make your relationship stronger. Good Luck