I've been dating this awesome guy for about 2-3 months. He isn't a guy I typically go for, but I thought he was cute and during our first date he kept me laughing the entire time. Well, since then I have had an incredible time with him; we have great chemistry in all aspects of our relationship. Well, the other night he approached me with concerns about possible issues that may arise in the future because we don't have much in common as far as interests go. I don't see this as a problem because I am open and willing to share in his interests. Am I being foolish to think this won't be an issue later on? Or is he putting emphasis on the wrong thing?
2006-08-16 05:48:50 · 22 answers · asked by aak 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually, he is putting the emphasis on the right thing. Hooray for you that you are open-minded enough to have found someone who makes you laugh (oh, that is THE best!) and with whom you have great chemistry and enjoy incredible times! What more could you want ?
Well, "what more" begins to encompass what he is talking about. Sure, for 2-3 months when you two are just dating - each encounter is a mini-vacation and not real life. You are playing the dating game and encountering each other in the dating scene. Ok, but now he is thinking ahead (how unusual for a guy) because he must see how much he likes you and what a great time you two have together and he is trying to determine how the future would shape up for the two of you.
It's difficult when a couch potato falls in love with a triathelete... (Ah'm not sayin' anything about anybody here!) Or when a bookworm loves a hard rocker. Or a Republican loves a Dem...oh, sorry. No politics. But you get my drift. He may see his "interests" as solid and immutable while you are pretty much willing to go where the interests go.
But are you ? If he is asking, then you might just say, ok, let's see. Have him list out HIS interests and then the next few dates, that is what you two build the dates around - his interests. If you enjoy doing what he likes to do, then fine. But don't forget that this should be a two-way street. Is he open and willing to share YOUR interests ? You should be making your list, too, and build a few dates around them. And how about NEW interests - things that neither of you have tried or pursued but could now try together ?
It sounds like you have a keeper of a relationship starting here; I hope the best for you!
2006-08-16 05:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If by being opposites you mean different hobbies, tastes in music etc.. then I don't it think it'll be a problem as long as you really like/love each other. Liking very different thing might even prove to be an enriching thing. But if your core values (what you think is right/wrong..) differ greatly than your looking at an impossible or at least rocky relationship. But if the issue is just different interests than being open (like you said you were) and willing to try new things should do the trick.
2006-08-16 06:05:26 · answer #2 · answered by mightymouse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your thoughts are right on track. Why bring up something that may or may not even happen. If the two of you are getting along as you say, I would ask him why make this an issue until it becomes an issue. Enjoy each other, the fun you have and take life one day at a time. Good luck!
2006-08-16 05:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by TY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposites attract. That's how magnets work.
Being willing to discuss the differences speaks well for him. You can learn to share some interests, but it also makes for a healthier relationship when you don't share everything. People need some time away from their significant other. It prevents that smothered feeling.
2006-08-16 05:56:55 · answer #4 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Opposites in personality attract all the time. What might be an issue of concern is if you are not on the same page about religion, politics, child rearing, life style, where to live. But if all you have that's different is your personal hobbies, then, so what??
2006-08-16 10:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by The Talking Head 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most research tends to find that "successful" marriages are usually between people with similar interested and attitudes. And, that the "opposites attract" is a myth.
That is not to say that you cannot have a happy and long life with this person, but the odds are against you.
2006-08-16 05:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by Wundt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being foolish. My boyfriend is the TOTAL opposite of me and we ge along just fine. He's opened my eyes up to new things. Things i never would've thought to do on my own. If you really want the relationship to grow, be open minded to things you aren't use to and he should do the same!!!
2006-08-16 05:57:33 · answer #7 · answered by shawn_0523 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One reason opposites attract is that things he is adept at may be areas of weakness for you, thus you balance each other out. This can work well as long as you embrace the differences, and not resent them. It can help you be a great team, if you link as partners for life.
2006-08-16 08:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by Howie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you enjoy each other,where is the trouble. Most people don't have a lot in common,that's what makes it fun. Finding out things they like that you may not have tried. He may be worried that he will lose you.
2006-08-16 05:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my husband were opposites on the outside... but as time has went on we are more and more alike. We still arent totally alike, but kind of developed the same interests and likes and dislikes. I think its great you are willing to try out his interests, just be suire he is willing to try yours too or you may lose yourself in this relationship.
2006-08-16 05:54:51 · answer #10 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋