How to get a talker to be quite during class?

Question

I have an 8 year old little girl and I can't seem to get her to be quite in school. She has no problem finishing her work, but she is constantly in trouble for talking. I have tried punishments, ie. grounding, taking away privalleges, spankings and I have also tried possitive reinforcement, ie. awards, get to go to do something fun. But non of these methods seem to work. The teachers always tell me that she is a good student and would be even better if she could refrain herself from talking. Any advise?

Answer 1

See if maybe you can work out some kind of reward for meeting small goals of sitting quietly. Maybe she can doodle while listening if she can pay attention while doodling in class. Maybe for every 5 minutes of being quiet she can earn a point and trade these points in for special privileges in school. Work with her teacher. Maybe she can even earn points in school and trade them in at home with you. Some children really don't realize they're talking when they are. She needs to meet small goals until she can work up to larger ones.

Answer 2

My daughter is the same age and this was an issue for her last year too. The teacher kept taking her recess away and moving different students next to her. Nothing was effective. Even the positive didn't help at all. Her grades were perfect, in fact, everything was above grade average. She's very smart and was getting done ahead of the class. I came to realize that she was just bored in class. She also reads moving her lips, but not really saying anything. So, she was in trouble for talking much of the time just for reading quietly. I finally told her that she could talk, but I didn't want to ever find out that it interrupted the rest of the class. The teacher wasn't happy, but my daughter was. Her ONLY bad grade was in talking during class. I can live with that as long as my daughter is free to be herself. Please don't change your daughter. Let her be a child while she can be, because they grow up fast enough and there's enough rules as it is. Just make sure she's not bothering the rest of her class. She's a happy child and that's what she should be as long as her grades aren't failing.

Good luck on the new school year!!

Answer 3

She is probably bored in class and too smart for the class she is in. If she is getting good grades, and still finding time to talk, she obviously is very bright and has a lot of natural knowledge so to speak. Maybe see if you can line up some more challenging work for her to do. I don't agree with the teacher than if she would stop talking she would be even better. Kids, talk, that's how it is. When I was teaching, I knew kids that could talk their head off the whole class and I would swear they weren't paying a lick of attention and then I'd throw a pop quiz at them and they'd get 100% on it. This wasn't true for all students, but if she gets good grades, it's probably true for her.

Answer 4

You got me...sounds like you are pretty much following the book on this one. maybe try making punishment more severe or making the rewards better or both. i.e. longer groundings, take away more privalleges, obviously dont spank her any harder. For rewards find something she really wants and tell her you will get it for her if she dosen't get in touble for a whole month. Stuff like that. Good Luck.

I was a talker when I was in school and one thing that made me shut up, is my mom would come in and sit at the back of my classroom. Granted you have to have the time to do this.

Answer 5

Question: When you deprive her of privileges are you caving in? Try this AND DO NOT CAVE IN - and suffer feeling guilty if thats what happens; What is her most favorite thing to do in the world? Tell her she can have it back or do whatever it is WHEN you get a report from the teacher that she has not been talking so much in class.

Not very many parents feel good about punishing their children - and too many cave in or fudge a little. When you cave in or fudge just a little, its a weakness your child WILL capitalize on. I know from experience.

Oh - and before you go into a state of absolute denial (like I used t o do).., take a moment to be neutral and re-analyze your methods.
Spankings should be as a last resort - and regardless of what the know-it-alls say, spankings are important *IF* used properly.

When I say we fudge.., some parents feel guilty and perhaps while restricting Tv or Music or whatever, will reward them with something else to take the sting out of it.., like allowed visitors or cake and icecream.... which is a vast mistake.

Hope this helps and it is not intended to rake you over the coals, but to help you get past feeling guilty. Kids sometimes will swear undying hate when you crack down on them, but in the long run, you will have respect. You will never be acknowledged as best friend, so forget it. Children will love the parent despite acting out, and respect is what you are entitled.

A couple of years after my daughter got married...(long time in coming) she swears I am her best friend. Wait for your rewards - but for now, bite the bullet and stick to your guns.

ANECDOTE:
Daughter at age 8, was being punished for accessing my computer WITHOUT permission. The resulting conversation over restrictions...,
DAUGHTER: "I hate you!"
ME: "And your point is?"
DAUGHTER: I hate you! My friends parents let them on the computer all the time and do what they want...."
ME: (cutting daughter off in mid sentence) "Oh? Really? Give me these kids names. I want to talk to their parents and see if thats the case."
DAUGHTER: (pauses - thinking) "Uhm.., I don't know their names."
ME: "Well I do, and I know their parents and they don't let their kids access the computer without permission because they don't own computers. Go to your room, and don't come out till I call you for supper.
DAUGHTER: (sophisticated closing argument), "I hate you!"

Some years later I only hear, "Thank you dad for making me mind growing up." and "I Love you dad." And I gotta tell you. It makes the hassles of yesterday so much worth it now.

Answer 6

Yep. As a teacher my first thought would be that she is bored. Does the teacher have a list of activities that she can do when she gets done with her work, can she have free time to work on reports, read stories, work on the computer, etc.
Teach her the quiet game. She can say anything she wants while you count to ten but once you get to ten........she has to get her work done. Practice at home. Reward her for staying on task...........then have her transfer it to school. If she plays the quiet game all day and doesn't get talked to by the teacher...a note can go home and you can celebrate in style with hot fudge sundaes or her favorite meal...soemthing she likes.

Answer 7

Can she have extra (fun) worksheets to do when she finishes her regular work? We used to get these graph paper things that said stuff like "Color boxes 1a, 5b, and 3d red" and so on. When you finished following the directions you had a picture. I don't know if you can find those, but maybe a book of mazes? Or circle-the-words? Or something like that- would keep her occupied after she finishes her regular work. I don't know about her, but I was a reader- when I finished my nose was in a book. And I NEVER got in trouble for talking....well once but that was during lunch and it was because our principal was a jerk....I was actually talking to a TEACHER (quietly) at the time...but he had imposed 'silent lunch' indefinently. But back to the subject at hand, I was quiet because I had something to do. Maybe it would work for her too. Also I give my boys (ages 2 and 4) coloring and writing worksheets when we go to the doctor or any other waiting room- and they are silent except occasionally when they are describing to me their work.

Answer 8

Yea I remember that is always what I got in trouble for, the teachers all said I was doing great except for constant chatting. I never really stopped until 6th grade when my teacher took my desk and put it all the way in the back of the room away from everyone, I was so embarresed I never did it again.

Answer 9

Socializing with her friends is obviously very important to her, and she wants to get in as much time as she can. My suggestion would be to find more ways for her to communicate with her friends outside of class.

If her friends have it, you could let her get MSN and use it for an hour or two a day, after she finishes her homework. MSN is perfectly safe; once you block someone, you always appear as "offline" to them, even if you're not. And you can't talk to someone unless they are on your allow list, so it's nothing like a chatroom.

Also let her phone her friends; have the same time limit as MSN. Try to arrange for playdates more often; even every weekend, if you can. Throw sleepovers and parties, so she can see her friends and have fun.

Hopefully if she gets in more contact out of school, she will be less tempted to talk when she's in school. Good luck!

Answer 10

Could be that she is bored.
Can the teacher have different work sheet packages for her?
That way they can be harder and take her longer to finish, and the other kids (and her) won't notice they are not doing the same thing.
That's what they did at our kids school.
It make take a little extra prep time for the teacher - but it is worth it in the long run.