Would this be considered a threat or harassment?

Question

My ex told me he would take me to court over our daughter if I ever get a new boyfriend. (We currently have no legal arrangement.) Meanwhile, he goes out and does whatever he wants, with whoever he wants, and it's ok. He says he he would do it because he wouldn't be able to handle me being with someone else. What do you think? ( I mean, other than the fact that I got involved with a total loser...)

Thanks for all the answers. It's not that I'm afraid to move on, because of what he might do, I was just wondering if his comment would be grounds for harassment, seeing as how he's trying to control certain aspects of my personal life. Or like someone mentioned, he's trying to basically have a negative consequence for something I may do that shouldn't even be of his concern.

I know we will end up in court eventually, but I'm afraid he will end up with visitation, and I would be devastated. If anything, I would prefer it to be supervised, because I don't trust him with the care of my child. I just think it would be hard to get a judge to agree, but who knows...

Answer 1

as long as you can support yourself and the kid you are fine and you can find someone new.

Answer 2

Sounds like a form of extortion to me! Flat out tell him that if he ever brings the subject up again you will file a police report. YOu have every right to go on with life and find a new special person for yourself.

He may harass you more after you say this to him which is kind of what you want so you can officially make it stop. Record all dates and times of the conversation. Look up your state laws on recording phone calls. The majority of states are one party states. That means if you are on the phone with him you can record the conversation without his permission. Cells phones are great for this as most let you start and stop recording at the push of a button. If he makes any kind of threat or whatever all you have to tell the police is that he is scaring you. At that point it should be game over and you will get peace. He'll either obey the order or end up in jail.

Answer 3

I would say that yes, it's considered a threat -- but not really one taht anone will take seriously.

If you happen to find another man -- one who is actually a little more grown up -- and you want to have a relationship with him, I'd say do it. A court won't take into consideration the fact that you're dating someone new, unless of course that someone new has a criminal record and is an all-round bad person. The courts base their decisions on many things: the ability to take care of the child; to provide best for the child... and many other things.

I'd tell him to go ahead and take you to court, see how much he stands to lose. Might just get him to back up, take a better look at how good he's got things, and perhaps grow up a little

Answer 4

He wants to use your daughter to control you. He feels that as logn as he has that threat on you that you he can control who and who you do not see.

Most likely hes bluffing. If hes not, then get your new bf and if he takes you to court, the mother almost wins 100% of legal court battles involving children. He might get scheduatled visitation at the most, and if he does it will be around your schedual. It sounds like hes they type that you could fight to get no visitation anyway.

Good luck! Dont let the bastard control you. Your your own person.

Answer 5

Honey let the dumb*** take you to court. When he stands in front of the judge & says " I brought her to court because she got a new boyfriend & I told her not to" the judge will laugh in his face, & tell him to grow up. You will have a pretty good chance of the jugde making him complete some court orders like parenting classes & individual therapy & you will be able to express your concerns of his ability to care for your child. Tell your ex to go ahead & try it, it is most likely it will go in your favor. Don't let him run your life, let him talk whatever crap he wants to talk & just ignore him & live your life. Good luck.

Answer 6

If you have your own apartment and a job to support your daughter, the courts won't take your baby from you. Its not fair that he gets to do whatever he wants and you can't. Just be careful cuz guys can act crazy sometimes. But other than that, do you and forget about him.

Answer 7

You were smart enough to get away from the jerk, why are you letting him control you now? Get it legal babe! Get a legal separation so you have the law on your side! He will have nothing on you if you take care of things. What a threat? You should go to court anyway!

Answer 8

ok in the end he will get visitation it will only be supervised if u can prove he abuses the child which i don't think is the case u need to hire a attorney before him and file the right papers now

Answer 9

If you're not exposing her to any negative elements with having a new boyfriend, then he has no grounds to try and take your daughter. Children shouldn't be leverage and this shows that he is very immature and isn't putting his daughter's needs first. Get yourself a lawyer!!!

Answer 10

This would be a threat because he is giving you an ultimatum that would involve him taking a negative action. He has no legal grounds to run on so don't sweat it if he tries.

Answer 11

That would be a threat. Let him take you to court. His case would be thrown out. ALso, you NEED to take him to court & get child support set in place. He's still controlling you, don't let him do it anymore.