how do u get over a guy who really made u feel good about ur self?

Question

well this guy john and i have been going on and off about stuff and at one point of my life i had a very low self esteem and he made me feel good about ma self and he told me he loved me and it seemed like he just made every thing feel better but now i have to get over him and it way harder than it sounds how do i get over him?

Answer 1

I agree with Zorb. All of those nice things John said that made you feel so good are true whether John is there to say them or not. That old SNL gag with Stuart Smalley sounds like bunk, but it can work. Just to tell yourself that you're pretty cool. When you believe it, others will. It shouldn't be the other way around!

As for how to get over him, that's a little tougher. It helps to remember that no relationship is ever going to last forever. Even if John had been Mr. Right and you spent the rest of your life with him, it would eventually end. Spend some time grieving over what you'll miss. I wouldn't recommend dating during this time. Eventually, instead of giving you pain, those things that you're going to miss should become the bright spots, and you'll be able to be happy that you had something good, however short-lived it was. When that happens, you're ready to try again.

Answer 2

Getting over someone takes time. I know its not pleasant, but if you are not in control of the situation, it will sting for a while.

My advice is to try to achieve some peaceful closure of this relationship. Write a letter telling him goodbye and how you appreciate all the things he did for you, etc. Then lose his phone#, e-mail, and adress. Trust me, you don't need the temptation to contact him just to see if things have changed. If you drink, you might drunk-dial him and thats embarrassing.

In actually getting over John, remember the way he made you like yourself and realize those things are still true. That was the reason he came into your life. For the most part people don't stay together forever, but every relationship has a reason. You may not know what it was but I bet you made a difference in his life too!

PS- It is difficult to read questions and responses that do not use Capitalization and Punctuation ;)

Answer 3

You have to seperate missing him and missing the way he made you feel about yourself. Be thankful for the things he told you, many people don't find someone to bolster their confidence like that. Just because he's gone doesn't mean those wonderful things aren't true about you anymore. You can feel good about yourself without him.

You need to work on building your self-esteem and avoiding co-dependent relationships. It's not really "self-esteem" if your confidence in yourself comes from someone else's opinion of you. You need to work on building up your self-esteem by finding out what you love and what you are good at and believing in yourself.

Answer 4

Well, just think that you are you no matter who comes around. Just be grateful that he was there when you needed someone, but think about how any other person could have come along and make you feel the same way he did. You didn't tell us why you have to get over him... maybe that would helped in giving you more advice. Good luck

Answer 5

Um....it's tough, and will definitely take some time. My advice would be to try and move on. I'm sure there are other guys out there besides this guy John, who will make you feel good about yourself.

Answer 6

Every person that touches your life leaves you with more education about yourself. When a teacher is needed, one will appear. Cherish the memory and know he was there when you needed him.
No regrets.

Answer 7

Is he an eligible guy? If not, most women find married men attractive, drop the idea.

If he is an eligible guy, then work on it.

Answer 8

Find something YOU can do to make you feel good about yourself - you can' t rely on other people for that.

Answer 9

go have a girls night out with some of your friends.

Answer 10

dating could work