My boyfriend and I had a huge fight a month ago and we agreed it was over, but in the time since then we've

Question

had sex 5 times like we can't get enough of each other. We still live together because neither of us can afford to move just yet. We've done everything together except say I love you. I'm so confused because I don't know if we really are over or not. Please help me! He's everything to me and I'm so scared to ask him because I'm afraid that it really is over.

Answer 1

Wow. Sounds like an odd situation to be in. So, essentially you guys are broken up, but when both of you get horny, you end up having sex. Your former relationship has just gone SUPERFICIAL & PHYSICAL.

...you still live together...
Hmmm. That sounds like an excuse to me. That falls into the same category as staying together for the kids.

...you've done everything except say I love you...
sounds like you're using sex as the last thread to stay together in some minimal way. You obviously are NOT over him and appease his male ego by sleeping with him.

...you're confused because you don't know whether or not it's over...
in an ideal world, you'd move on. You still have feelings and your only release is to have sex with him. He gets horny and wants to get some, so he drops little things that would make your vulnerable mind think that HE wants to be together with you. It's a safe bet that once you and him are done screwing, he could give a rats @ss about your feelings. He just wants you to give up the goods when HE wants. It's all a mind game. You're losing.

The situation can get much worse. Think about this. He knows you'll give it up. So what's stopping him from getting on with other women, knowing that if things don't work out with them, he can still come home to you. How are you going to feel when he's "out with a FRIEND" for the entire night. You're the one that lets him live there. He's taking advantage of that situation combined with your feelings. If it was truly over, he'd be man enough to move out. He knows he's secure because of how you feel.

Answer 2

Well to be perfectly honest with you, you are going to have to ask him. I've been in similar situations and believe me you don't want to assume that you two are back together and then find out he is seeing you along with the girl next door (you know what I mean). I can understand your reluctance to ask, but you need to know.
Look at it like this, if you both decide that its over after talking it through, you can be sex buddies, you said you can't get enough of each other. I know "sex buddies" sounds a little stupid, but you have needs. Right?
But I really think you two should talk, it is possible that its really over and having sex with you is sending you the wrong message.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hey Amber.....I really think it's in you best interest to talk to him about you guys and where you two want things to go from here. If you don't you are going to keep this sex without love thing going and pretty soon it is going to start hurting you. Because being a guy he will probably keep having the sex without the love but you are going to think the love is there, that it's just not stated. Eventually you are going to hurt yourself. I'm not saying you can't get back together and have what you once had but it's better to talk about it before assuming that he wants it too, just because he is having sex with you.

Also, I know moving is expensive but you should try and really figure something out if you two aren't going to be together. Living together makes a break up and the "are we getting back together or just hooking up?" phase ten times worse.

I know it's scary to think that it might really be over but you have to talk to him to find out if it is or not. Please talk to him, it's for your good. It may hurt like hell right now to hear it's over, but it's better for oyu in the future to know it's over rather than assuming you still have something for each other just cuz you are having sex. Believe me, I know exactly what you are going through (besides the living together part), and stay in the I dunno what's going on with us phase is good for the body but not so much for the mind.

*My thoughts were scattered, but hope they somewhat helped. Good luck!!*

Answer 4

Hello AMBER K,

It really sounds more like a booty call now. You are sort of taking care of each other's needs while you are living in the same place. There's nothing wrong with that, because it is taking care of each other (a lot of marriages are like that), but I'm not sure that love is involved in this.

If this is really important to you, you should talk to him about this. I'm sorry. I hope that this helps.

--Rick

Answer 5

well, you have to ask him eventually. might as well talk about it and if you are over than find a way to move out. no sense continuing to live together if you aren't together. but if you guys still want to be together, than go for it. either way, you have to ask him what's going on.

Answer 6

cant be afriad to ask you need to know i would talk to him, if you still love him and live with him go for it, the worst thing that can happen is he says no, but the best thing that could happen is you all get back togeather. be honest and confront him!

Answer 7

well tell him you love him and then ask if youre over but i doubt that you are if youve done it 5 times

Answer 8

ok u need to stand up for ur self-respect.....ask him...and if he says yes.....STOP doing wht ur doing...would u like the feeling of someone using u?...ir maybe he just said its over wh he was mad....my bf says dumb things all the time...but never means them....u need to talk to him...you'll be really upset if he ever brings someone home..

Answer 9

Well you have to ask him you cannot live like that

Answer 10

well talk to him and ask him "is it over or not" or u can not say that and tell him how u feel