How can I convince my wife (who is 80 pounds overweight) to eat right and work out at a gym?

Question

I am a mid 30s male who works out, eats right, and feels great about his body. My wife, however, is 80 pounds overweight. I just can't seem to convince her to take better care of herself. She isn't depressed, but just doesn't take me seriously when I tell her I'm concerned about her weight. How can I motivate her to eat better and (more importantly) go to the gym?

Answer 1

You have to be as loving as possible. Convince her first that you love her no matter how she looks. Make her feel beautiful everyday. Find out what interests her, have meaningful conversations, show her affection, appreciation, and give her domestic help. Those are usually woman's highest emotional needs. When her emotional needs are being met, she won't rely on food...

Answer 2

My husband seems to enjoy eating more than the usual too.
In my opinion (which can be right or wrong) it has to do with stress. Probably from his job, because he seems unsatisfied.
I have tried many times to bring on the table the issue, that is not good for his health - first of all, that he is very often complaining about his clothes, not fitting any more, etc, but no progress.
I believe it is a way out for stress coming from a psychological situation. It can be also the quality of the food consumed, but since you are fit and she is not, I don't think this could be it. Unless she eats other stuff when you are not around.
Maybe you should start from discussing if there is something that bothers her seriously. Most people don't even recognize it! The diet will follow. It is also a matter of the person itself to search and find the source of his/her problem. Try to be supportive, as much as you can.

Answer 3

Well she isn't ever going to be like you. So forget the convincing her to go to the gym thing. Besides most people who are overweight by 80 pounds would be very self conscious going to a gym. Would she go for a walk with you? Start with very small attempts that don't require a complete life style change for her. Go shopping together maybe. Try to get her to buy healthier items but don't get carried away let her have some bad for you goodies. Maybe she will start to feel better. She may think shes feeling good now but, when she sees how much better eating right can make you feel she might change. Lose a few pounds be more open to going to the gym.

Answer 4

Every single time you try to convince her you are concerned, you are reinforcing her subconscious thoughts that you don't like her the way she is. Your rationale doesn't matter. Why should she want to change for you? She has to do it for herself and nobody else.

Give it up and keep doing what you are doing for yourself... perhaps you could find some physical activities that are fun (let's face it, anyone overweight dreads going to a gym with hard bodies) and that she would enjoy doing with you (get your mind out of the gutter everyone!). Anything to be active rather than sedentry... as she starts to feel better (including not hearing your comments anymore) she will want to continue or it will come off naturally.

Answer 5

you're going to get a lot of flack for this one, but you have a right to be concerned, it's not healthy to be overweight. You should go about it by not saying she needs to loose weight, but say you need more active time together.

maybe you could suggest some couples activities, maybe couples yoga, or play tennis together, go for a hike, ect. Make it couple time instead of workout time.

And as far as the eating healthy goes, why dont you cook dinner for a while. If you cook it then you have the control. If she wont eat it then there's nothing elsee you can do.

Answer 6

Patience. It's good to hear that you are setting the example by doing the things you are trying to get her to do. If you go grocery shopping with her or do it by yourself make sure she gets nothing but good things to eat. Give her some motivation, like once she hits a certain point she can reward herself with say a facial, body massage, pedicure, anything like that that will make her feel even better about herself. The bad thing is, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. She needs to want to take better care of herself but you need to learn to accept the fact that she may never change and love her as she is

Answer 7

This sounds bad but point out all the things she is mssing out find out and talk t her about all the things he could do if she was fit. You might even want to tell she will look better than she does not because you attractiveness scale on her is going down. It sounds harsh but anytime someone comments on my bnody I want to work out like carzy. I am going to the gym today I am 6"4 and 230 pounds so need to lose weight and look good.

Answer 8

First of all you shouldn't try to convince her to do anything.Your wife isn't you.Possibly she doesn't want anything to do with a workout and the more convincing you do the more she'll object.Talk to your wife ( NOT! workouts or eating right) be supportive.If or when she feels the need to Dump the Plump she will

Answer 9

You need not tell her she is overweight. She already knows that. Try and encourage her the best you can. Perhaps she will find the time to accompany you to the gym - and that migh motivate her into wanting to be healthier. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Start cooking for her (healthy), take her out on walks, go to picnic and start tossing a ball or Frisbee etc. It takes 2 to get a head start sometimes and a relentless partner.
Spoil her rotten!! Have a positive and encouraging attitude.

Telling her she needs to take better take care of herself is self esteem and self confidence damaging

Good luck!