Serious answers please, I'm really worried about this.
What about dancing with the bridesmaids? There's some real hotties, I'm worried they'll 'make me enjoy' dancing with them too much.
Please help!
2006-08-16 02:50:14 · 32 answers · asked by SilentRunning 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I say hold it in a box in your pocket. That way it will be safe from falling out and getting lost. As far as your excitement issues and dancing- i say just be careful and watch yourself. If you feel your "excitement" rising, politely excuse yourself so you can gather your bearings. Nothing is worse than seeing a full grown man socked in the mouth for being anything less than a gentleman.
2006-08-16 03:26:25 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, this is vintage SilentRunning, I hope it makes it onto your 'greatest hits'.
What you need to is get yourself in a lather and then slip the ring on the old chap (course it'll fit, just work it on there) before the wedding starts. You now have a home for the ring AND a cockring that'll keep you 'alert' all day. Once you've had to hand over the ring, use a substitute for John Thomas and make sure you maintain your state of arousal all day. Everyone will be so used to it by the evening that they won't even notice it. You may even find yourself being swung round by your extra handle during some of the more boistrous songs.
Plan B would be to get so tanked up that there's no chance of any unexpected suprises for the bridesmaids. This is the route I imagine you will take.
2006-08-16 03:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by Grinner5000 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just keep the ring in your mouth. It's not like you have to say anything during the ceremony.
As for the bridesmaids, why worry? They'll be so overwhelmed by your charms that they'll be falling all over themselves to dance with you. You were probably going to get laid anyway (bridesmaids are famous for it), and now no one has to worry about locating their underwear in the bushes before heading back to the reception.
However, if this is really worrying you, just get really stinking drunk. That way, no one will dance with you, and nothing would be working right even if they did.
2006-08-16 03:18:59 · answer #3 · answered by oh kate! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slip it on your dick till you need it or on your finger or in your hand. Alternatively think of something completely different and make a holder to sit at the alter than can be placed there at a good time and the ring retrieved from there. Make it look like a candle stand or something. Plenty of different things that you can do.
The more you worry about the dancing the worse it will be. If its true naturists and you are close enough to be the best man they will understand a little "embarrasment" but play it cool and just try to hide it. Personally I dont think you will have the problem you think you will.
Enjoy yourself its only flesh!!!!
2006-08-16 03:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by thethief 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hilarious, the only place I can think for you to keep the ring is in your shoe, unless you put it on your finger ! As for dancing with the bridesmaids, I am sure if they are seasoned naturists that they will be used to the odd boy standing to attention, I find the best thing to do when in an embarassing situation is to laugh at yourself. Good luck and make sure to apply the sun screen to all your special bits !
2006-08-16 03:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always keep valuables tucked under my man boobs when out naked. Keys and my wallet are no problem, but beware: if you have a very sweaty under-boob electronic key fobs can get damaged. But I digress... For the ring and a box of confetti or two, you'll be fine.
As for the dancing with bridesmaids dilemma, I'd be more worried about the speech, if I were you. However, if you're really stressing about it then I think you should try taking a cocktail of speed and anabolic steroids to shrink the little fella.
Good luck
2006-08-16 03:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd tie a bit of ribbon around my wrist with the ring(s) on it. That seems appropriate to me.
As for the bridesmaids, keep cool. Sneak a few peeks at Grandma if you feel yourself losing control. And, if all else fails and *if* your dance partner notices (she might be feeling too self-concious herself to be paying attention), apologize and ask if she'd like to stop dancing while you compose yourself. For all you know, she might be flattered, so *ask* and explain that you're not yet used to the scene. I'm sure everyone will understand.
Good Luck!
2006-08-16 03:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the Naturists dilemna, what to do with the wood?
Usually you'll be so fosuced on the fact that your not wearing any clothes that excitement won't be a problem. However, the dancing will be a different story! But if you sport a chubby, the girls will get a kick out of it, and maybe more if you play ur cards right!
2006-08-16 02:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure that this naturist wedding isnt a wind up and you'll arrive to find plenty of smart suits and frilly dresses? I cant honestly think of a single person that would turn up any form of event for me without clothes and i find it hard to believe that this whole wedding party will be naturists.
anyway, where will you put the speech... unless you've got a good memory of course!!
2006-08-16 08:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Piece Ring. Rearrange into a well know phrase or saying.
Or under your foreskin maybe.
As for the dancing. Get as hard as you can.
It will give the ladies something to hang thier handbags on instead of dancing around them on the floor.
2006-08-16 03:07:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋