My partner and I have been so happy for 2yrs. We then moved from UK to Canada to be nearer his family. Within two days of being there he said he wasnt sure if he wanted this. He said being home messed with his head. Only two days ago he asked me to marry him, we were so in love. I left canada after 1 week. Now my life feels so empty in the home we shared. He still calls every day, saying he loves me but he's not sure if he wants this. He sounds so unhappy and miserable, and says he cant bare to take off his engagement ring, and still calls when Ive asked him not to. I keep telling him I will take him back if only he would sort his head out. He just responds with I dont know if I want this. He is so miserable lonely and upset without me but I just cant make him see sense. Its like he is trying to punish himself and me and I have no idea why. What should I do my whole world and my future seems to have fallen apart.
2006-08-16 02:48:40 · 15 answers · asked by Sophie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's obvious he doesn't know what he wants. Something about being in Canada made him rethink everything and he couldn't find a place with you in it. You left, and now he can't seem to let it go. I think he needs to take some time and figure this out. I think you need to tell him what you feel and then make him take some time to think about the relationship.Then he can get back to you in a week or two and tell you what he thinks. Right now he's in a fog and not doing anyone any good, least of all you.
2006-08-16 03:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by Whirlinghurly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick by your guns woman. He needs to decide what he wants. What does he want you to do go back to Canada and sit around till he decides what he wants. Tell him to figure things out and then let you know not call you and torment you every night. Make sure he knows how you feel about him too. It would help if he could start with what made him feel confused in the first place. If he was in love with you in the UK than why not in Canada too. It's just a different continent.
2006-08-16 09:56:36 · answer #2 · answered by ladyg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something apparently was said to him from his family regarding you or regarding him marrying you. There is no other reason for his sudden change of heart after being around his parents for two days. The only other thing I could think of is. . . . . he is back in his home town, is there some other girl there he used to go with and he had a chance to see her and now he feels confused on which one of the two of you he want to be with? His parents could be trying to match him with someone they already know and feel comfortable with. That, unfortunately, is something you should find out. Ask him!
Now, if he is already showing signs of not having enough back bone to stand up to his family in regards to you and a possible marriage to you, how do you think he would be as a husband and a father to your children? A man being a whimp to his parents can be a nightmare. You could end up with a controlling mother n law. (I have kinda been there and did that. In fact, she is still controlling her grown son and he has nobody!!) :D
Give him an ultimatum. Either he is going to commit to you or he is going to stay there with mommy and daddy.
If it comes out that his parents has something to do with it, then he need to get them straight and get them out of his business or he can just stay there with them and continue to let them run his life.
If it is another girl or some long ago love, he is to make up his mind right now. He either goes back with you or a permanent break up is inevitable. Let him go if it is another girl. The fact that he flipped the script like he did so suddenly shows he may have feelings for someone else. That will always be in the back of your mind and it will cause you problems throughout the relationship.
If he chooses his parents over you , then my dear, you will be better off moving on with your life. Your life is not hardly over. Next relationship, find out where the guy stands with his parents early in the relationship. Learn something from this because it will help you later in life with other relationships.
Good Luck, I hope everything works out for you.
2006-08-16 10:58:47 · answer #3 · answered by geminisista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see the point of what some of these other guys have answered your question. But htink about this, maybe there is something in the family and for some reason his family is not for this marrage? and he needed that security from his family to know that they are ok with him getting married, and now he is confussed? think of that way, and like the other guys said, maybe you need to think about that if he can change his mind so fast, do you really want to be with someone like. Ask him why did he change his mind all of the sudden, if he loves you like he says he does, he should tell you the truth
2006-08-16 09:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by justwaitingtoleave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps his relatives are against the marriage. And he doesn't want to make his own decisions.
I suggest that you give him a week or two to sort things out in his head. And if by then he doesn't make a decision whether he wants to marry you or not, then he is not right for you. Find another man.
2006-08-16 10:01:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his self image changed when he got home. He probably feels like he did as a kid and is having trouble rectifying these feelings. You have to get tough with a wake-up call. Just tell him that he is an adult and needs to make up his mind NOW. Whichever way it goes, it will be easier on you in the long run.
2006-08-16 09:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by James L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cant tell you why he is doing this then i see no reason for you to revolve your life around a man who made you move to a different country and then changed his mind on the relationship. He is mixed right up. Either you move on with your life, or wait until he actually figures what he really wants.
2006-08-16 09:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone there is messing with his head. I can tell you from personal experience that family members really know how to screw things up. Try to get him to visit you. If you can get him away from them, you have a better chance of talking some sense into him. When it comes to family interference, it's like war and you have to fight dirty if you want your man back. Good luck hon.
2006-08-16 09:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he was comfortable with the way things were before. the change through him off. now the thought of another big change happenning has terrified him. thats all. he is playing out a man cliche by being scared to commit. sounds silly, buts its true.
2006-08-16 09:57:32 · answer #9 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that can change their minds so quickly. Whens it going to happen again? Don't trip over the red flags...
2006-08-16 09:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by buldawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋