Today was the 1st day of back to school for my daughter (4th grade) and she was fine all this morning and up until I walked her to class and hugged her, at which point she broke down into tears telling me that she didn't want me to go and felt like she needed to vomit. I told her that she had to go to school and before she knew it I would be there to pick her up. I calmed her enough to go to class (which she HAD to) and am wondering this question.....should I suprise her by showing up to her lunch today or do you think that would make it worse for her? I really don't know what to do, I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction from her!!
2006-08-16 02:44:37 · 21 answers · asked by tx proud 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
When kids cry because their mothers are dropping them off at school, it's because they're nervous about their first day back, and since you're right there, they are thinking about how they would rather go home with you than stay and face new teachers and new classes.
After a half hour, if not less, they usually get used to being back at school and surrounded by their friends, and might have forgotten all about the earlier drama! So don't show up at lunch, because she is probably having fun already, and if you show up it will remind her of the earlier incident. This might remind her of why she didn't want to go to school, and get her upset again. It's best to leave her until the end of school.
2006-08-16 03:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st day back to school, I think my tummy would hurt too. The lunch idea while sweet is not always good, some schools frown on parents showing up to eat lunch with their kids because the other kids get the idea that 'oh Sara's mommy is here I don't have to listen to Teacher'.
The note in the lunch box idea is nice. After School ask her how her day went, praise her for doing so well and reassure her that everyone gets the jitters maybe suprise her with a special treat.
Every child is different and after being off from school for awhile doesn't want to go back.
Good luck
2006-08-17 15:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by HistoryMom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not show up for lunch. She probably just is having a bit of a rough time getting use to the new teacher and new students in her class. If you show up she may start to feel the same way she did this morning and want to go home. You could always call the school and see if the teacher could tell you how she is doing.
2006-08-16 09:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by KIT-KAT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT show up for lunch. The other kids will tease her. Or, just by seeing you there she will want to come home. At the end of the day you can reassure her that she survived the first day back to school. Let her know that everbody else is afraid too and things will get better as she becomes used to the routine.
2006-08-16 09:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by serendipity 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a sweet mom to consider doing that!
But, dont show up at lunch. Remember, at this age they go(especially girls) from one emotion to the next. Chances are she was just having first day of school jitters. She's probably fine now and is realizing that she is going to make it through the day. Maybe even having a blast.
Showing up at lunch could actuallly make it worse.
I think the first day at school is worse for mom than daughter.
Just ask her all about it after school!!!
2006-08-16 09:52:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either way is fine
Going to lunch with her: Yeah it's a good idea, but when lunch is over she is going to want you by her side the whole school day
Not going to lunch with her: Just by doing that it can make your child more dependable on herself because she only has a couple more years until she is a teen.
2006-08-18 12:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to give her a bit of space. This is something she needs to work out for herself. Maybe you could ask if she wants to talk about it and if she does then do. IF the problem increases or persists talk to the school counselor. If they don't have one at school then ask her doctor. Sounds like she's got a lot of anxiety built up in her but it may just be because she's starting back up in school. Hopefully it will all work out. Poor little girl.
2006-08-18 15:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by dlfoster67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't go for lunch, she will like it in the beginning of lunch hour but when you have to go, it will make another scene.
How about tomorrow, you pack something special in her lunch, like a little note with a little chocolate, my mom did that when I first started first grade, and I loved seeing what was in my lunch bag everyday.
2006-08-16 10:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by coconut_lime1011 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No do not show up for lunch. This only retards the process of her learning to cope on her own. She will get used to the routine. Keep in touch with the teacher about your concerns. In time she will be fine.
2006-08-16 10:27:53 · answer #9 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't even think you should walk her to class in the fourth grade. I don't think you should meet her for lunch unless you guys talk about it first. Besides she is just nervous, she'll get over it. Just discuss her day when she gets home. I would have wanted to vomit if my mom had walked me to class in the fourth grade.
2006-08-16 11:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋