What do you think of my relationship situation? How do I solve?

Question

Me and my current ex-girlfriend dated very happy for three months. Then we had a bad week, leading to a breakup. We both had problems we needed to fix, and we did. We both agreed that we should not have broken up, and that we should have helped each other solve our problems. We are not back together yet, but we have solved our problems. We are happy again. I spent a very good week and a half just now working to regain the feeling we had. I had succeeded...she was going to take me back...but then...

A friend of hers that went with her to school, but now lives a few states away, advised her that me and her should just start off as friends and "relearn" each other before dating again. I don't believe in "friends with benefits". However, she thought it was a good idea and started to consider it. This was not what I wanted at all, and when I told her that she accused me of not letting her have a choice. The truth is, I don't think that our problems were so deep that we have to start over

I think me and her are in a very good position to make a very smooth transition back into a relationship. But we know plenty about each other, our problems were more environmental than internal. I just think that this idea would cause us to drift, and would be very awkward. I want commitment. Do you think I want the wrong thing, or do you think I am right? Is this idea bad? How should I handle and confront this?

Answer 1

If she doesn't want a committment there isn't much you can do about that. You just have to ask yourself if having a committed relationship with her is worth waiting for. If it is, then stick it out. If you have to have all or none then best you move on to someone else who shares your feelings.

Answer 2

I think either idea is bad. You say the problems were environmental, but if it only took "a bad week" to cause a break up, then the relationship won't last. If you can't make it through a bad week together, you aren't going to be able to hold it together later. I've been married 5 years, and you don't have bad weeks, you have bad months, or longer. You have to hold it together no matter what, because once you're married, there's no "break time". I think this is a good signal that she isn't the one you should be basing your future on, and you should move on.

Answer 3

I think maybe your ex does not know what she really wants. If she wanted to be with you again, it would not matter what her friend said, she would know her own heart and mind. Just be patient, it sounds like maybe one of the problems is that the two of you are making the whole relationship thing a bit too dramatic and serious anyways. Relax, have fun, enjoy each other. Three months is still the beginning really, if there is that much stress it might not be the right fit for either one of you.

Answer 4

After any breakup or problems you are both going to change a little. The point is you love her and she loves you. Bite the bullet and be friends for awhile. Don't get into some silly arguement that could cause problems. If this relationship is true it won't last long at that stage and will go back to what you had before.

Answer 5

You guys are judt giong through wha any normal relationship does.I think when you guys agreed that you shouldnt have broken up,you actualy were getting back together indirectly.It may just be in your minds that you havent gotten back together.About her reconsidering it.well may be she just wants to be sure that such a thing wont happen.So you must show her that there will be change in the way you two will handle any further future hectic situations.Please do expect more hectic situations.Dont let the reconsideration go out of hand she may just lose interest if she already hasn't.best of luck dude.

Answer 6

Friends with benefits can be a hard road to travel. It's easy in the sense that you dont have the commitment, but it sounds like thats what you need. I suggest if you're not comfortable with it to just be friends and let things develop from there. She might see other guys, but you should go out and see other people also. It sounds like you're young, and go meet some people. It never hurts.

Answer 7

Her so called "friend" is nothing but an insitgator and why the hell would you want to have a relationship with a female that listens to her friends. It's about her heart and yours and already she cant make her own choice. Levae while you can and mark my words "she will do this again" .... guys dont listen to ther friends, thats why we lose friends. we go by our gut and what our heart tells us. Women for the most part listen to books, and Stupid lonely professors, along with jelaous friends about how they should feel. You should feel lucky that you have an option and you can still get out while you can......

Answer 8

you see u havent change
let me break it down to you
it all about what u want and not what she wants
of course u piss her friend had to tell her that i will piss too (it happen to me too) but u have to let ur girl choose and she chose to take it slow.
take it slow, let the relationship built up and take it from there
dont rush it
if u rush u will end up asking another question on yahoo friends
there s no rush let her be and continue loving her
she will noticed and she will give u all of her
but u need to stop the control thing (is alway what u want a relationship only work when the 2 parties on the same page)
good luck

Answer 9

Quit being such a woman. Grow a pair and do what every other respectable man would do, be friends w/ benefits and see what comes of it. at least this way you are getting off. it's not that tough of a choice there buddy

Answer 10

I would sit down with her and ask her to talk about it...ask her why she thinks you two need to follow the suggestion of her friend...and tell her your side. Ask her to work together with you to come up with a solution that would work for both of you, not some outside influence.