I was planning on throwing a baby shower for a friend a few weeks from now at a local restaurant. I found out a few days ago that she knows about it and contacted me to make changes to our plans regarding the location and how it was organized. I have no problem with this, but the way I see it, showers are gifts to be accepted. If you want to throw one yourself, that's all well and good. I'm ready to say I'll attend, be happy, buy a gift and help out where needed but I don't want to plan any more. Is that terrible?
2006-08-16 02:05:04 · 18 answers · asked by DallasDarlin 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It seems perfectly fine. You don't seem terrible to me.
2006-08-16 02:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you have no problem with her "suggestions" yet you are backing out of the shower. Obviously, you DO have a problem with it. I would suggest asking her why she wanted to move the location and change the plans (perhaps she isn't into the food at the first place since she is pregnant or something?). She may have a legitimate reason.
And while the shower is a gift, it is a gift for her. She would return a shirt she didn't like. And shouldn't you try to make her happy as it IS about her and not you? This all just sounds a little selfish to me.
2006-08-16 04:51:10 · answer #2 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are in the right. There are several issues here.
So originally it was a "surprise" and she found out?
Shame on the person who let the cat out of the bag! First off I would let on that this was supposed to be a surprise and that it was not nice of someone to ruin your plans like that.
When this friend found out, the right thing for her to do would have been to not let on that she knew. The only reason why I think she could be justified in coming forward to you is if she was not going to be able to make it for some reason.
Stick to your guns. She is looking a gift horse in the mouth. You booked a restaurant, you went out of your way to make a surprise. The plans stay the way they are or you just attend what ever shower she wants. You've done more than enough work and planning just to be kicked in the teeth. No more.
2006-08-16 02:24:04 · answer #3 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a Bridezilla. These girls really enjoy their "Queen for a day" mentality. If they spent more time thinking about the marriage, rather than the wedding, we'd all be better off. If she finds your plans so unsatisfactory, back out and tell her to finish her plans in the queenly manner she finds acceptable, and you'll be happy to attend. The nerve of these people! No, you're not being terrible or rude. She's the rude one. A shower IS a gift and should be accepted gracefully. Good luck--
kittycatdance
2006-08-16 02:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by kittycatdance 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's pretty rude of the lady to just come in and take over like that. Some moms-to-be get very controlling over these things.
I think you are doing the right thing. No more planning!
Just go, bring your gift, have fun and help out only where you feel comfortable.
2006-08-16 02:14:28 · answer #5 · answered by Jake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is the mother ? Why did you want to throw a shower in the first place - because you had to or wanted to ? Are you all-knowing or does the future mother perhaps know more about the people to be invited et al than you do ? If you "have no problem with this", than why all the "buts" ?
2006-08-16 03:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, and she was incredibly rude to intrude upon the gracious gift of the shower. You don't tell people how or where to spend their money on you. Period. I would back out, and tell her that since she seems to know better what she wants, you are going to let her throw the shower.
2006-08-16 11:59:16 · answer #7 · answered by alone1with3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all! I had a friend do the same thing with a going away party I threw for her. I was seriously strapped for cash and she was like, we should do this and this too. I was like, sure if you want to cough up the extra cash, but I didn't have the guts to, and by the time the party was over, I was so relieved! Almost glad to see her go!
2006-08-16 02:17:49 · answer #8 · answered by Kayl Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her that this is a gift for her and that she needs to butt out. it is a great gift to give someone a shower, and she is being rude by ruining your plans. go on with the planning.
2006-08-19 15:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Rebecca Forever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your friend that you are sticking to the original plans.If she wants everything changed,she could have her own later.The shower is supposed to be a gift to welcome a new baby and this mom should be grateful that she's even being thought about.
2006-08-16 02:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by kikasman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it is terrible. It's meant to be a gift. Would they like it if you took a gift back that they had bought you & exchanged it for something you liked more?
I think it is terrible on their part.
2006-08-16 02:11:50 · answer #11 · answered by Xima 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋