2006-08-16 02:03:04 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-08-16 21:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
(I'm just copying and pasting froma website i no)
Yo momma's so ugly she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork
Yo momma's so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
Yo momma's so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to use as chemical weapons
Yo momma's so ugly when she was born the doctor looked at her a** then her face and said Twins
Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner with a sign that said Will eat for food
Yo momma's so dumb I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan Marino
Yo momma's so ugly I heard yer Father first met her at the Zoo
Yo momma's so dumb when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver she said cherry or grape?
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September people say Wow is it Halloween already?
Yo momma's so poor each night she goes to KFC to lick other folks fingers
Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out
Yo momma's so dumb if brains were gas she wouldnt have enough to power a fleamobile around the inside of a Froot Loop
Yo momma's so poor when I was taking family portraits for you and said Cheese she went looking for the line
Yo momma's so ugly the doctor is still smacking her a**
Yo momma's so poor when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said DING DONG
Yo momma's so dumb she asked for a price check at the dollar store
Yo momma's so smelly that the only dis I'm gonna give her is Disinfectent
Yo momma's hair so greasy you could fry a chiken in it
Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses
Yo momma's so ugly when the terminator said Ill be back he left running
Yo momma's so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake
Yo momma's so old I looked in her year book and saw jesus
Yo momma's so dumb at bottom of application where it says Sign Here she put Sagitarius
Yo momma's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes
Yo momma's so dumb she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund
Yo momma's so bad when she got called for jury duty she was found guilty
Yo momma's so ugly kids dress up as her for Halloween
Yo momma's so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face
Yo momma's so old you put her in a museum instead of an old folks home
Yo momma's so dumb I saw her jumping up and down asked what she was doing and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it
Yo momma's so dumb she went to Disney World and saw a sign that said Disney World Left so she went home
Yo momma's so dumb she actually thinks these jokes are funny
Yo momma's so dumb she died boiling water in the toaster
Yo momma's so dumb she thought menopause was a button on the stereo
Yo momma's so dumb she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out
Yo momma's so dumb she noticed a sign reading Wet Floor so she just did
2006-08-16 09:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by ♥dylan♥sprouse♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo momma is so fat when she walks past the tv u miss 4 episodes of the housewifes.
yo momma is so skinny she drinks black coffee to see her shadow.
yo momma is so skinny she has to run around in the shower to get wet.
yo momma is so ugly u take her picture to school to scare the bullies off.
yo momma is so fat that every time she walks u get sea sick.
2006-08-16 09:18:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you talkin' about 'Yo Momma slams ?
like yo Momma is so fat....
. when she falls down 15 people on the other side of the earth got jared off into space.
2006-08-16 09:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by Paul G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo momma SO ugly
...she use poison ivy for makeup and roadkill for deodorant !!!
2006-08-16 09:55:23 · answer #5 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo mamma so skinny she swallowed a peanut m&m and looked like she was six months pregant
2006-08-16 09:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by latino_boi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to africanjokes.com or search it in google.
2006-08-19 07:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by sulaiman s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your pick at the answer http://answers.yahoo.com/search/search_result;_ylt=AoguOfVzaRjM8PClyjfJ9Hnpy6IX?p=yo+momma
or..
Yo mama teeth so big when she sneeze she bites her chest!
Yo mama so fat she has to buy a spandex car!
Yo mama so fat her toes got stretch marks
Yo mama she so tall she could do a cartwheel and kick Jesus
Yo mama so short she could sit on the curb and swing her legs
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
yo mama is so ugly she put the boogy man out of business.
Yo mama is so ugly she makes Michael Jackson look like brad pitt.
yo mama is so ugly she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure.
Yo mama is so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. yo mama is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window.
Yo mama is so fat when she bends over we eneter daylight savings time.
Yo mama is so fat she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck. Yo mama is so fat shes once, twice, three times the lady.
Yo mama is so fat she uses a matress for a maxipad.
Yo mama is so poor burgulars break into her house and leave money.
Yo mama is so poor the building society repossed her cardboard box.
Yo mama is so poor she watches t.v. on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Yo mama is so poor she goes to KFC to lick other peoples fingers.
Yo mama is so poor she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Yo mama has got a major weight problem, she cant wait to eat. Yo mama is a carpenters dream flat as a board and easy to nail. Yo mamas feet are so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces, she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes.
Yo mama is like a televison, even a 2 year old can turn her on. Yo mama is so clumsy she got tangled up in a moblie phone. Yo mama is so nice, she offered me the hair off her back.
Yo mama is like a golf course, everyone gets a hole in one.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is so good at her job, being a scarecrow. Yo mama is like a 747, 3 man **** pit.
Yo mama is like a hardware store. 10 cents per screw.
Yo mama is like a a shotgun, first she cocks then she blows.
Yo mama is like a door knob cause everybody gets a turn. Yo mama is like a stamp, youlick her, you stick her and then you send her away.
Yo mama is like McDonalds, Billions and Billions served.
Yo mama is like a railroad track, she gets laidall over the country. Yo mama is like the Pillsbury Dough boy, everyone likes to poke her.
Yo mama is like Peanut Butter so creamy and smooth and easy to spread.
Yo mama is so smelly, when she spread her legs, I got seasick. Yo mama is so smelly that farmers use her bath water as liquid fertilizer.
Yo mama is so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to make chemical weapons.
Yo mama is so greasy Texaco buys oil from her.
Yo mama is so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid.
Yo mama is like a pirate, there she blows.
Yo mama is so stupid she took aruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama is so stupid, on a job appliction is said sex and she put monday, wednesday and sometimes frida.
Yo mama is so old that instead of saying are we there yet from the back seat, you say is she dead yet.
Yo mama is so hairy that when you were born you almost died from rugburn.
Yo mama is so stupid she got locked in a bathroom and almosted peed her pants.
Yo mama is so big, she trips over walmart and lands on target and every time she passes by the T.V. I miss a season of friends.
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a airplane it became a submarine.
Yo mamas teeth are so yellow that cars slow down when she smiles.
Yo mama is like a fast food restaurant, Quick and easy.
Yo mama is like a shot gun 5 cocks and she is loaded.
Yo mama is like nascar two rubbers and she is ready to ride.
Yo mama is so dumb, she brought a spoon to the super bowl.
Yo mama is so bald, Mr. Clean got jealous.
Yo mama is so fat the last time she saw 90210 it was on the scale.
Yo mama is so fat that she shoved a battery up her *** and said, I've got the power.
Yo mama is like a screen door, a couple of bangs and she loosens up.
Yo mama is like a snickers bar, packed full of nuts.
Yo mama is like a race car driver, she burns up a lot of rubbers. Yo mama is so fat and stupid, her waste is bigger than her IQ. Yo mama is such a *****, she interned for Clinton.
Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her *** and passed out.
Yo mama's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
Yo mama's so nasty, her **** give sour milk.
Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear
infection.
Yo mama's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a
virus.
Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
Yo mama's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas.
Yo mama's so nasty, she breeds crabs.
Yo mama's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
Yo mama's so nasty, she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
Yo mama's so nasty, she has a sign by her ***** that says: "Warning: May
cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
Yo mama's so nasty, she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs
alive.
Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her
hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
Yo mama's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.
Yo mama's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo
mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo
mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
Yo mama's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.
that when she hauls ***, she has to make two trips!
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just
to get her through
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and
oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-...
she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!
she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas
she wakes up in sections
all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
the animals at the zoo feed her.
when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall. Yo Momma Jokes
and Insults
she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party
when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo
the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"
she was baptized at Marine World.
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials
her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a
Chevrolet.
she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight
she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
she's got her own area code!
everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil
she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting
called for a key violation.
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
she's on both sides of the family
we're in her right now
her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the
ground.
when she hauls ***, she has to make two trips.
her car is made of spandex.
*****************
YO MOMMA SO DIRTY >>
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
roaches ride around on dune buggies!
*****************
YO MAMMA SO STUPID >>
she has to put on lipstick with a paint-roller
she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the ***** since.
she thought meow mix was a record for cats.
She has to use a VCR as a beeper
she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.
she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.
she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
the National Weather Agency assigns names to her farts
she sold her car for gasoline money!
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.
that she would have been in ET, but when she rode the bike across the moon,
she caused an eclipse
she influences the tides
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
when she steps on a scale, it says "I don't do livestock"
she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.
when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas
she was Miss Arizona -- class battleship
when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate
it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
she got hit by a parked car
she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.
she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
she puts on her belt with a boomerang
even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
that she sold the car for gas money.
she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and
oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-...
when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up
the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
small objects tend to orbit her
when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.
she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
she sells shade in the summer
her favorite dress is a tent
she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
a picture of her would fall off the wall
that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
her belly button's got an echo
she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.
she wears a watch on each arm One for each time zone
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
she got on an airplane and only the wings took off
when she goes to a restaurant, she looks at a menu and goes, "Okay"
*****************
YO MOMA SO UGLY >>
she left home with high heels, she came back with flip-flops
her mom had to feed her with a slingshot
they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
her baby pictures were taken by satellite
if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!
she sells shade in the summer
she farted and put herself into an orbit
she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh,
Levi's?"
when she sits in front of the "Hollywood" sign, you can only see the "H" and
the "D"
when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end
when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother
she took your dog to the Canine Show and won your dog came in second
that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
she makes blind kids cry
when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs
when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun
she broke her leg, and gravy poured out
when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it
Halloween already?"
they put her in dough and made monster cookies!
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed
a picture of her would fall off the wall
when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
she got hit by a parked car
she don't take pictures, she takes posters
when she went to the zoo, the elephants threw peanuts at her
your daddy takes her to work so he doesn't need to kiss her goodbye
we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!
even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down
her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
when she sits at the beach, Greenpeace tries to tow her back into the ocean
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor
when she goes to the beach, the kids yell, "Free Willy"
they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
people go as her for Halloween.
when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight
she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
her favorite dress is a tent
I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back
when she wears a yellow raincoat, folks run after her yelling "TAXI"
the highway patrol made her wear "Caution Wide Turn"
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color
she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat
when she steps on a scale, it reads "One at a time, please"
the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale
they have to grease the bath tub to get her out
when she steps on a scale, it says "To be continued"
she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon
she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!
*****************
YO MAMA SO OLD >>
she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
she was a waitress at the last supper.
she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
she owes Jesus a nickel.
she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
she co-wrote the ten commandments.
she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
she has an autographed bible.
when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
she farts out mummy dust.
she's in Jesus's yearbook!
she watches PBS.
her memory is in black and white.
she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
she drove a chariot to high school.
she owes Moses a quarter.
she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.
she ran track with dinosaurs.
her birth certificate says expired on it.
she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.
she baby-sat for Jesus.
she owes Jesus 3 bucks!
she used to baby-sit Yoda.
Jurassic Park brought back memories.
she sat next to Jesus in third grade.
when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.
when she reads the bible she reminisces.
I told her to act her age and the ***** died.
she's got Jesus' beeper number.
she has all the apostles in her black book.
and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary
will never amount to anything".
she used to baby-sit Jesus.
when she was young rainbows were black and white.
when she was in school there was no history class.
I told her to act her own age, and the ***** died.
when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.
she has Jesus' beeper number!
when God said "Let their be light", she flipped the switch.
she has a Jesus Starter jacket.
she has Adam & Eve's autographs.
her social security number is 1.
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.
she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.
her birthday expired.
she planted the first tree at Central Park.
she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.
that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'
she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.
her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
her birth-certificate expired.
*****************
YO MOMMA SO POOR >>
she drives a peanut.
she can't afford to pay attention!
when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was
doing, she said "Moving."
she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She
said, "Buying luggage."
when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
*****************
YO MAMMA SO DARK >>
she went to night school and was marked absent!
she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating
her fingers.
she spits chocolate milk!
that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
*****************
YO MOMA SO SHORT >>
she poses for trophies!
she can play handball on the curb.
she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
she does backflips under the bed.
you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
*****************
YO MAMA SO NASTY >>
her **** give sour milk.
when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she
opened up her shirt
she made Right Guard turn left.
she has to creep up on bathwater.
she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she
opened up her blouse!!
a skunk smelled her *** and passed out.
she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
she pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
she breeds crabs.
her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
she made Speed Stick slow down.
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the
table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off
she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
she's got more clap than an auditorium.
that her **** is glad to escape.
she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.
I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
she has a sign by her ***** that says: "Warning: May cause irritation,
drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
she made right guard turn left.
she made speed stick slow down.
the fishery be paying her to leave
when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on
the table and said "Corn!"
she brings crabs to the beach
Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a fish
Yo mama so stupid she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.
Yo mama so stupuid she got locked in the bathroom and peed on herself.
Yo mama so old she sat behind JESUS in the first grade.
Yo mama so tall she did a bakflip and kicked jesus in the jaw.
Yo mama so skinny she hola hoped in cherios.
Yo mama so skinny she do push up under the door.
Yo mama so poor she eat cereal with a fork the save milk.
Yo mama so poor she go shopping at the lost and found.
Yo momma so bald headed her hair line starts at her neck.
Yo momma so bald when she takes a shower she gets brain washed.
Yo momma so poor someone came to yall door and made yall sign a paper saying that yall was gettin evicted, and they took yall box away.
Yo momma so ugly yo grandma kicked her out the house and got charged for littering.
Yo momma so stupid the sign said disney world left and she turned back home.
Yo momma so...so...so stupid..umm.....she...uh...I saw her staring at a box of orange juice I asked her what she doing. she said it said "concentrate.
2006-08-16 09:44:25 · answer #8 · answered by Mlsig 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋