My son is 8 years old and refues to wipe his butt.Of course he leaves skid marks.What can I do?

Question

I don't know if it's just an attention getter or if there is something else going on.Please don't be rude about this.I make him take a shower every day,but I don't want him to be made fun of at school.This is a problem that recently started,as far as I know.

Answer 1

Sounds like a usual little boy to me. I would stay on him about it, maybe get him some flushable wipes (it could be he's not liking how the tissue feels on his bum).

Also, something to ask him about, if that area is sore, or even itchy. Boys can get yeast infections just like women, only its in that area instead. It would make him sore and possibly unwilling to wipe after pooing.

Also, make sure he's not constipated, that would also cause his bum to be sore.

I'd say its not an issue of some new abuse or molestation, generally that has more to do with acutally wetting or pooping in the pants or hiden areas (such as closets or in corners), not wanting to wipe is more often just a little boy being a little boy.

Just explain to him that whether he likes it or not, in oder for him to grow up into a man he has to wipe his bottom, and doesnt have a choice about it.

Just stay consistant with him, its most likely a phase.

Answer 2

First you need to rule out a condition called encropresis. I thought for the first 6 months or so that my son wasj ust being lazy or trying to get my attention and then I found out that he has this condition which left untreated will cause his bowel system to completely shut down. Ninety percent of encopresis cases are due to functional constipation - that is, constipation that has no medical cause. The stool (or BM) is hard, dry, and difficult to pass when a person is constipated. Many kids "hold" their BMs to avoid the pain of constipation, which sets the stage for having a poop accident. If your child has encopresis, humiliating or punishing him or her will only make matters worse. Whatever the cause, once a child begins to hold his or her BMs, the poop begins to accumulate in the colon and a vicious cycle begins.

The colon's job is to remove water from the poop before it's passed. The longer the poop is stuck there, the more water is removed - and the harder it is for the child to push the large, dry poop out. The large poop also stretches out the colon, weakening the muscles there and affecting the nerves that tell a child when it's time to go to the bathroom. Because the flabby colon can't push the hard poop out, and it's painful to pass, the child continues to avoid having a BM, often by dancing, crossing the legs, making faces, or walking on tiptoes.

Eventually, the lower part of the colon becomes so full that it's difficult for the sphincter (the muscular valve that controls the passage of feces out of the anus) to hold the poop in. Partial BMs may pass through, causing the child to soil his or her pants. Softer poop may also leak out around the large mass of feces and stain the child's underwear when the sphincter relaxes. The child can't prevent the soiling - nor does he or she have any idea it's happening - because the nerves aren't sending the signals that regulate defecation (or pooping).

Answer 3

My 8 yr old son does the same thing. I have tried haveing him do was his own underwear and that dont always work. The other day we rearranged his room and he had hid the underwear around his room.

I have tried taking things away from him that didnt work either.

I was thinking of tryng the wet wipes and see how that works but I also feel that he should be old enough do do it on his own and shouldn't need them. So in a conflict on wanting to spend the money on them.

Answer 4

Sounds like a visit to his Pedi is in order. If there is no medical reason, perhaps his doctor can explain the perils of ignoring good hygene to him in a way that you can't. No child wants to live with pinworms and that is one of the worst things he can contract. There are things on the market now for toilet training - depending on his maturity level, perhaps those would be a help but I'd still make the visit to his Pedi first. Best of luck!

Answer 5

I'd make him wash his own clothes. He is old enough to be able to handle it. You could try buying some of those flushable wipes. The best thing to do if this is a new behavior is to try to figure out what sparked it and deal with that issue first.

Best of Luck!

Answer 6

My 8 y/o wipes and still has skids : ) (he's 8.). He has a friend though that comes over alot, that kid smells like pure poop and it ain't funny. He stinks up my house I know he must not wipe, I actually have to spray Fabreeze when he leaves. I thought about saying something to his mom, but I didn't want to hurt any feelings, they are nice people. Eventually she must have done something because he doesn't smell anymore.

You don't want that to be your kid do you? Nip it now.

Answer 7

Take something away from him until he earns it
you have to be firm with your child or else others will

Take care of this in a firm matter b4 this child ends up having everyone know his buisness

Because in school it is going to be worse
Think of a story to tell him
about a kid who refused to take care of himself
and ask him if he wants to be like him.

Also you can be firm and say, no I do not want you to go with me because you smell, say it in a nice but embarressing way

And since you do not want to take care of yourself
neither do I.

Buy that kid a hand held shower to take care of himself
b4 you end up wishing you had someone to talk to

Answer 8

I'm not sure how inquisitive your son is, but if he is the sort of child who needs a reason why rules and certain practices are in place, it is your duty as a good parent to be able to explain those reasons to him.

One of the main reasons we, in our culture, practice wiping after bowel movements is for personal hygiene reasons. Most people want very little to do with poop, or anything related to it. I can't think of anyone who enjoys smelling like poop, either, come to think of it... Besides, I think I speak for most people when I say that it's hard to feel clean if you're carrying around crumbs of poop in your underwear...

Another reason we practice good bathroom hygiene is because without it, some individuals might experience embarassing skin irritations as a result of residual bacteria (among other things) remaining on or around their perianal region. People don't always take into consideration that there is a percentage of stomach acid in feces, and that, too, could be the culprit for any skin irritations in the perianal region, as well...

Now, as much fun as there is to be had at the hospital, there's nothing fun about seeing the butt doctor - unless maybe he's your date... But, I digress - sometimes, these skin irritations are frequently easily remedied, and other times they can be problematic, and require additional treatment. I'm not really the gambling sort, but I'm going to wager that if he won't wipe his bottom after a bowel movement, he isn't going to want to bother with applying the creams and ointments to treat the skin irritations either...

Anyway, I am confident that many of these reasons are enough incentive for your son to begin practicing good bathroom hygiene, though you might want to work out some sort of small reward / incentive system to get him trained into the practice if he is merely forgetful or easily distracted...

If he is lazy, I suggest you discuss the option of wearing diapers or training pants. No eight year old boy wants to wear a diaper, I hope. He won't want you fussing over him and worrying about taking care of such babyish things as his dirty diapers and diaper rash episodes... (Which are ALSO a result of inadequate bathroom hygiene...) I should also hope that he wouldn't want to worry about wearing diapers to school! Who would change his dirty diapers there? His playmates? Maybe his teacher? Ewww. I think NOT.

You've just got to know how to appeal to him, and make him understand why wiping after going to the bathroom is important. After all, he isn't an animal! You should remind him of this also.

Lastly, have you considered the possibility that maybe the brand of bathroom tissue your family uses is too abrasive for his skin? Perhaps you could get him some of his own personal wipes which are pre-moistened, and fortified with moisturizers to prevent skin irritation. Some people prefer using wet-wipes over TP anyhow. This might be the case with your son.

Alternately, maybe he is experiencing some sort of topical skin allergy which becomes irritated after wiping with toilet paper. Maybe he has really sensitive skin. Perhaps he has some other existing medical condition (hemorrhoids, anal fissures, etc.) which make wiping uncomfortable / painful for him. After all, that area does consist of tender skin and membranes. Talk to him about it - perhaps he needs medical attention...

I'm sure that with some education, and trial and error on your part, you will be able to encourage your son to develop good bathroom hygiene habits. I hope something I've said here helps you, or at least gives you some new ideas to try. Good luck.

Cheers.

Answer 9

Make him wash his own under ware ever day. by hand in the sink. explain to him that he will not have to do this if he learns to wipe correctly. this is not mean but it might help the behavior stop. He is old enough to be responsible for his own behavior.

Answer 10

Make him do his own laundry. I had a relative with the same exact scenario. He finally stopped when he hated doing laundry every day!