ive met this guy who I really fancy. Hes 29 and Im 24. We meet up and get together every now and then (we havent slept together). ive told him that i really like him and he said that he feels the same way but that hes is not ready to settle down and have girlfriend. why is this?why do guys not want a girlfriend?what are they afraid of?
2006-08-15 21:20:35 · 26 answers · asked by XCuteX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Commitment
2006-08-15 21:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a very simple answer. Sleep with a guy right away and he'll subconciously write you off as non-girlfriend material. However, if you've seen him quite a few times and spent more than 7-12 hours in comfort building with him and it's not escalated to sex then you will miss your pairbonding opportunity.
As an ealier contributor pointed out......men cannot love without sex. It is the sign from the female that she has sexually selected him and by consumating that (after sufficient time spend together) he will pair bond with you.
If you do not have sex with him he will simply focus his attentions elsewhere. Never forget that man's primary goal in life is to find and mate with healthy females of child bearing age. A secondary function is to pairbond with a particular female for the purposes of staying together long enough that a family can be raised.
The female MUST be responsible for allowing sexual contact to escalate at the correct pace if she has any designs on the male as a long term partner.
Viking xxx
2006-08-16 05:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by Viking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, i'm a guy who just entered into the same or similar situation... we're a bit farther along, we've only just made love for the first time a week ago.
I forget how sex and romance and love were so confusing... it'd been so long.
However it is the woman here who isn't ready for an actual relationship.
I don't think it's neccesarily a gender issue.
2006-08-16 04:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by the_sidpa_node 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he cannot afford the expenditure at the moment. It does sound confusing to me, perhaps that is the intention. You do not know whether you are coming or going, and you do not know where you stand. Is he interested or is he not. He is always on your mind and getting under your skin.
Perhaps as he is older he wants you to love him first, before you jump into bed together.
2006-08-16 04:27:59 · answer #4 · answered by James 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be that he has been hurt in the past and he doesn't want to deal with being hurt again. Or he likes to get to know a girl better first and weigh up the pros and cons before he gets involved.
2006-08-19 14:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by Julia P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They want to spread their seed (sleep with as many people as possible!)
In your case I think this bloke might be a bit immature, because at 29, he's at a perfectly reasonable age to settle down.
2006-08-16 04:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by Wafflebox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are afraid of hooking up with d wrong girl. IF u feel anything for him, just keep close it might pay off
2006-08-16 04:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by ijlafia2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
COMMITMENT.all men are the same .theyll shag yopu till the cows come home.give u that cuddle you want wen u get home.but as soon as u mention settling down or getting serious they run a mile.
2006-08-16 06:52:13 · answer #8 · answered by bex j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you confused? He's not afraid of anything.... he just doesn't want to settle down.. why does that make him a monster.... or has it occured to you that he just doesn't find you remotely interesting?
Sorry..... tough love and all that!
2006-08-16 04:24:20 · answer #9 · answered by Ellie29UK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what they are afraid of.
I would try to be friends with the guy, maybe you can have something more one of these days?
2006-08-16 04:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by sarah_roo03 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋