Is it better to have no friends or fake friends!??

Question

I have only a few "friends" - tons of aquaintences - but no one i can call my best friend, someone i can tell anything to. i've never had close friends. growing up every girl i was ever friends with had stabbed me in the back at least once. I guess I was easy to hurt and they took advantage of that. Anyway now i am 19 years old and I don't trust people easily at all. Going out with friends doesn't even sound appealing to me. The usual 19 yr old girl can be found drinking her life away, instead I don't, i hang out with my dog or do stuff by myself. i'm very independent, and i sometimes feel like such a loser because I don't do the normal things people my age do. LIKe right now i feel like friends are avoiding me, since they didnt' call when they said they would. i just don't get it! what is wrong with me??

Answer 1

I find that true to the core friends can be found with a open eye and assertiveness. If it's truly in you to have a friend you can trust, then you must trust yourself enough not to become embarrassed or jaded if the friend does something you do not like, you simply must bring it to their attention, show them it's unacceptability, and positively reinforce it in their minds. With words of encouragement and praise when they do things that contribute to a good friendship. As much as it sounds like training a dog, you'll find that when put into worldly practice, it couldn't be more correct. Find a Friend. Immediately bring unacceptable behaviour to attention. Positively reinforce them with praise and / or encouragement when they do things that represent a solid meaningful friendship. Always be true to them with what you think exactly and be niether embarassed nor ashamed of this, how you feel spreads. So if you're embarassed about something you think or feel, they'll pick it up and it'll spread like wildfire through gossip. Some personality types are incompatible and constantly coniving. There is no way around those and I don't suggest dealing with them. Usually the best friends are those who think like you do, with not a very loud or solid sense of what is to be done and what isn't to be done in a world. Similarities and an Open mind are essential. Be comfortable with yourself and others will be comfortable with you. If you take gossip and embarassment personal, you'll easily push yourself out of loops. Karma is real. You get what you put in the ground. What you put in you get back. So be sure to put in positive, encouraging, nonthreatening, confident, understanding messages, and you can be sure you'll never have an insecurity exploited, and you'll always remain friends through it all.

Answer 2

It's not your fault that your past "friends" stabbed you in the back. You just need to learn how to choose your friends wisely, and learn how to forgive, because everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes it's better to not have a best friend, that way you don't depend on that person. Have you considered that the reason you can't get close to anyone is because you're so scared they're gonna hurt you that you don't even give them a chance? That you don't allow yourself to open up and you always have your guard up? Loosen up, don't think so much. From what I read, you seem like an analytical person, try not to think about this too much. Just be cool, relax, and strike up conversations with other people. Throw away pessimism, and your charisma will draw people to you. It's okay to do some stuff alone, but once you let go and start talking to people, hanging out will appeal to you. But don't worry about not being a typical 19 year old, who defines normal, anyway? Step out the box, girl! good luck and I hope my advice helped

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with you. No friends and fake friends are the same thing, if you ask me.

It sounds to me like you have just had a long run of bad luck.

When I was 19, I took theatre dance lessons at the local university. I made a ton of good friends. Also acting classes.

You can go to college for free. You can't get grades or a diploma but you can do what is called... "AUDIT CLASSES". It's all free.

You can pick just fun subjects to learn. There are many of them. You can even be accepted at a sorority. My sister did that.

You can make friends on ANY campus really really fast.

The courses you choose will be courses all the other students like as well, so, right off the bat, you have things in common.

I'd GO FOR IT, if I were you.

I'm glad I did!

GOOD LUCK! Smile and go out there and find some decent friends. They're not ALL bad. I promise.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with you. You've been hurt by uncaring people and now you have a trust issue. That doesn't mean anything's WRONG with you.

Personally, I'd rather have NO friends than FAKE friends. Fake friends are everywhere and not worth my precious time.

I've gone through periods in my life where I've had no local friends for a long time because I've been hurt a lot too and am now SO picky that I'm willing to wait years to find a true friend. They always come to you eventually and are well worth the wait.

Just fill your time by doing things YOU like to do, especially anything that might involve your best friend, your dog. It won't be long before someone, the right someone, begins to talk to you then joins you in your activities. Next thing you know, a new best friend has happened to you.

Answer 5

Hm...you might have social anxiety. If you feel like you need to talk to someone, you should make an appointment with the doctor. I only say that because I doubt anyone is avoiding you. If you are socially anxious, this is a symptom. Believing that people don't like you, or are avoiding you. Also, that going out does not sound fun, even though that is what you are wishing for. :)

Anyway, you may not have it...so if you feel like you don't...then I say...fake friends are definitely not worth the time. I took a class once, and our teacher told us the amount of true friends you have, those who you would do anything for, you should be able to count on one hand. Even if you have one good friend, that is so much better than a handful of fakes. :)

Answer 6

there's nothing wrong with you. i'm afraid that's just the way things are these days.

unfortunately, it seems like you CAN"T trust ANYONE anymore. it sucks, though, that you are only 19 and the world has already jaded you.

just don't doubt yourself~know that even if you feel all alone, you are not alone.

drinking isn't all it's cracked up to be; it can actually be bad for you, so it's good that you aren't like "every other girl your age". and i bet your dog appreciates your companionship more than any dumb humans would. the great thing about pets is that they can't lie, or fake their emotions~ they are incapable of it~so you know that you have a real friend there.

even when i have a "best friend" i know better than to trust any type of secret to them; my most recent "best friend" was smoking meth with my 19 year old son. even after i told her something like that would never be acceptable.
i have no time for liars or thieves and she was a big fat liar. not to mention the fact that she chose drugs over our "friendship".

she also tried the fake suicide thing and put me through all kinds of stuff you just don't do to your "friends".

i finally got tired of the drama and sent her packing.

i would sincerely rather be all alone than to be surrounded by a bunch of fake friends; i don't mind my own company,

~and that is a plus~

just try not to let yourself become SO jaded that you are completely inaccessible.

learn to enjoy being friends with YOU, you already know what type of MORALS you have, what you like in people, how late is past your bedtime, etc.

just keep your "feelers" safe. love, but don't let any one take YOU away from you.

i hope that you can still enjoy yourself even though somebody has already ruined the story for you.

Answer 7

nothing is wrong with u but ur only 19 n' u have lots of time to discover life so be open to making new friends no one can guarantee that every friend u meet will backstab u maybe 5 or 10 yrs down the line u may meet the friend ur looking for !!!!n' dont isolate urself if u wanna hang out with someone call them take the initiative its not a rule that the most fun is had only with close friends.... aquintainces can be fun too ....life is too short to be afraid to take risks .... good luck gurl n' go out n' have fun takin those risks

Answer 8

i don't mind not having too many people to call my friends when most of them are just categorically "superficial." There are people that are willing to spend only good times with you, and be gone when you need someone to talk to, or help you get over a difficult situation.

Having a few close friends on the other hand is more preferable because that means you have all the time to really get to know them in and out, spend time with them, and be able to determine for yourself if they are the ones that will really be there when the time comes that you will need them beside you.

Answer 9

No. You only gave yourself two options. No friends or fake friends. You forgot about NEW FRIENDS. Get yourself some. Dump those fakesters and quit wondering why they don't call. You don't have to become a social butterfly, but gradually work on gaining a genuine friend every so many weeks until you have a small cluster of people you can count on. They always say the best way to get a friend is to BE a friend. Good luck.

Answer 10

i would rather have no friends than fake friends try to find a different crowd. what do u enjoy doing? what do u think would be fun? go ahead and do that. that what i did when i was 10 and everything has gone up hill from there. i started riding horses. now i have my own and he makes me happy when im sad. and i make him happy when hes lonely and it makes up both feel happy. he has made me life so much better in so many ways. i probly would not be alive today if i hadn't have done that. try horse back riding... try music lessons.... if u like music.... try anything.... maybe get a job taking care of dog as like a part time job u will find lots of nice ppl doing that. don't worry about it good things will come.