I have been dating this guy for about 2 years and he still wont say we are in a relationship. He said that I am his friend, lover, partner and boo boo. He comes over all the time and its like we are in a relationship. I'm trying hard not to love this man but their are times when I just love being around him. Then their are times I feel like he is using me. I do a lot for this man. I am always helping him out. He gets all the benefits of being in a relationship but without actually being in one. I have tried to distance myself from him but he keeps coming back. I am in my thirties and I don't want to play house. I am wasting my time.
2006-08-15 19:01:29 · 12 answers · asked by Apple 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's hard to put your foot down in a situation like this, I've been there, then I realised it was almost like being "shelved" or kept on the shelf. It's so confusing, but you need to tell him you need commitment, & if he can't do that then call it off. Guys seem to be able to do these things without becoming too emotionally involved, but when most girls open their legs, they open their hearts too. Tell him he can't just have the benifits of a relationship, if he doesnt really wanna work for them... Have a chat, say if you're going to be with other people, I can't do this, hopefully he'll say on will you be mine, if he doesn't he's not worth it, & you will be free to find a guy who'll give you what you need. Hopefully it'll turn out differently, who knows he could want more too but could be too scared to say anything, just be honest with him. Goodluck hun
2006-08-15 19:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by idk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B.B sweetie you are wasting your time, you seem to be a intelligent woman. And you don't need to be wasting your time with a man who doesn't want the same relationship as you, your 2 good for that, B.B never settle for less!!! Even though it's hard to let go the feelings that you may feel for him. U have to move on but if can't get over your feelings just sit down and talk it out with him. And ask him how he really feels about you and where this relationship is going and if his not for that step then say F it. Trust and believe there are plenty of men out there who want the same things as you
2006-08-16 02:25:25 · answer #2 · answered by Ms.Feisty2You 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does not have a girlfriend, you are his girlfriend. He's just having a hard time with that for some reason. Look how much time he devotes to you. Does he give anybody else that much time and effort.
Being called a girlfriend is just a title. On the real, you two know what you are? But, if he has a girlfriend and tells you that he does that is kinda messed up on his part. He should not lead you on like that. Unless, you had some sort of agreement with him that this is the way things are between you two and you are friends with benefits.
The way I see this, you are boyfriend and girlfriend. You are not wasting your time. Don't go messing up a good thing for both of you. This seems to work for you guys.
2006-08-16 02:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by lhm1968 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to tell him everything that you've told us! Communicate to him that it's important to you to be in a loving, lasting relationship and if he's not going to be that guy then he needs to let you know because you're not getting any younger! (Don't take that the wrong way, even if you were in your 40's you still would have plenty of time!)
2006-08-16 02:07:41 · answer #4 · answered by mgrazus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on cause you seem to know what you want and apparently your not getting it from your friend. He is using you and I think you know it. It's just up to you if you want to put up with it or go find a man that will treat you the way you deserve. Good Luck.
2006-08-16 02:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by Obsidian © 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make up your mind first. Are you willing to risk losing him? You have to be careful guys are easily throwed off when you try to change the relationship. I would let him make his decision. I would add some small subtle changes. Try the silent routine it always works.
2006-08-16 02:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by bsure32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems as though you are in a relationship, whether he says so or not. He may just not want to ruin it by defining what you are. I suggest you ask him about his fears, and wants.
2006-08-16 02:06:33 · answer #7 · answered by mjcariati1971 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you pretty much answered your own question , you sound like you want more out of him and he's not willing ? sit down and talk to him ask him what is his plans with you two are then tell him your feelings see where that gets you
2006-08-16 02:09:43 · answer #8 · answered by wilco254 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are totally wasting your time.you dont wana be all tied up eeven tho he is not really commiting. go out there and explore new things
2006-08-16 02:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by YeaHBoYiiIeeE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so..................if you know you're wasting your time, why are you still there? maybe that's what you should try to figure out. what does he give you that no one else could or would?
2006-08-16 02:07:09 · answer #10 · answered by me-me-me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋