Transition from ahole to nice guy?

Question

well im considered a ahole and im trying to be a nicer guy im just really opinionatted and say mean things i dont want to id like to be more mature and have people respect me is there a simple way to help the transition without buying anything or seeing a doctor

Answer 1

Whenever you're about to say something mean-spirited, make sure you quickly think it over and guage how you think the person will respond.

Smiling will do wonders. People who lightly smile while talking or listening are treated better and thought of in a better way because they're seen as welcoming and more approachable.

Another big part of it is, observing other people. If you're really serious about being seen as a nicer guy, watch how two "nice" people talk. I don't mean like, sugary sweet people, cause that's just sickening even to me! Just people who get along well in conversation. Or watch a person who is really liked by others to see what they do. Slowly, without realizing it, you will start to improve.

A lot of people just use humour and have good intentions when trying to talk to or deal with others. They also don't get annoyed by pointless things or snap back. You seem like you have good intentions, so there is hope for you!

Your life will change a LOT once you start wanting to be a nicer guy. In a really really cool way. Have fun!

Answer 2

I used to be like that. The trick I learned is to pause before you say anything. Take a second and see if that's what you really want the person you are talking to to hear. It has helped me to think more clearly of what an appropriate response would be rather than the first thing that came to mind was. Usually, the thing that came first was not the best thing for furthering the conversation. Also, I have learned how to understand people better and that has helped me get more done.

Answer 3

It's hard work. Just keep plugging away. Remember what works. You may have to fake it at first, but it turns into a way of life. You either like it or you don't. You may want to stay an Ahole after you try it for awhile, but that is the risk and it's not easy...If you find a way to like yourself, the rest comes easier.

Answer 4

Truthfully? If you really want to change?

Your friends. You are defined by who you hang out with, and for what reason. If your friends are just like you, then there is a habbit, and when they do it, how do you expect to kick your habbit? Start to find a group of friends that act more grown up, more appropiate. Like the other person said. Go to a mall and just watch people. You can tell jerks from nice guys just by their walk or how they carry themselves. Are they looking around because they want to make fun of somebody or looking for ****, or are they looking around to take things in like what they want to buy or etc.

Being a nice person just isnt about what you say, its how you carry yourself. If your friends dont like it then they are not your friends.

I dont smoke or drink (family issues there). As such i dont go to bars rarely have friends that smoke, and when they do smoke they are outside while i am inside. Sadly you can even change them! I had a friend that chain smoked like a train. And as soon as he hung out with me more and more, he smoked less and less from two packs a day to only a pack in three days. Why because he knew i didnt like to smoke so he would go longer and longer without one, and eventually he just got used to it, he formed a new habbit. He didnt quite but cut down.

Thats what you got to do. There is a time and place for everything, including your rude comments :). But what your doing is a habbit and you got to be around good habbits all day, and someone to tell you to shut it every time you mess up, for you to form a good habbit.

But it also comes from within, psycologist will probably tell you the reason why you do it is cause you dont like something about yourself or some kind of childhood drama or the like. So in reality, you need to do some meditation while you just sit and chill watching people interact. And doing that recolection along with observation, is going to help you alot buddy, Alot!

good luck

Answer 5

Everyone has opinions man, but saying them too much makes guys seem cocky and full of themselves. People don't wanna be around guys that are always right, just let loose & have fun. You wouldn't wanna hang out with people that were just way too honest would you? Example "Aw dude, I gotta go pinch one out and by the way your shirt looks like regurgetated ***" See, it's like whaaaaaat? No one asked for that

Answer 6

when some one asks a question repeat the question either aloud or in your mind, this will give you ime to think about you are about to blurt out and maybe with time you will be able to learn not to say the first thing tha comes to mind but some intelligent response

Answer 7

Try to understand how other ppl feel, know when they feel offended. Try to control what you say and if you really want to say it, say it in a nicer way without hurting their feelings

Answer 8

definitely no, I wouldnt like a guy if all he does is belittle and take care of different persons like crap. i like a superb guy who would properly be "aggressive" with out hurting all people (lol) and is beneficial. the explanation why loads of youthful chicks think of they like a$$holes are as a results of fact they mistake that stupid cocky ego as self belief.

Answer 9

THE FIRST STEP IS TELL PEOPLE YOUR PLAN, BE LIKE HEY WUTS UP IM TRYING TO BE A NICE GUY....ANYTHING I CA NNDO FOR YOU?...THEY WOILL LAUGH BUT TELL THEM YOUR SERIOUS...AND BE A NICE GUY DONT JUST TRY TO CHANGE YOUR IMAGE, CHANGE YOUR BEING...

Answer 10

Yes, it's a matter of paying attention