My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in a fiasco situation about 7 months ago. He was younger than I, and I was very upset with him for a wide variety of reasons. The thing is, we really were in love and had amazing chemistry, but his family situation and his habit of running away from conflict was unbelieveable. He has a lot of problems--a mom whose husband who was really there for her who at one point tried to commit suicide, a father who had another secret relationship outside the family, and also a relationship between mom and sis that was almost without boundaries, very codependant. As a result, lots of unhealthy issues with family obligation, guilt, etc., etc. It was a BIG mess, and I was sick of it. Also, it was long-distance, and I mean 3,000 miles long. Problem is, I miss him. We had a very special connection, and unheard-of sex. So on a whim, I called him, and it turns out he wants to talk. But now that the door is open again, I am freaking out about the old problems coming back.
2006-08-15 18:13:37 · 11 answers · asked by calliope 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmmmm, 7 mths? I doubt his family has changed any in such a short time. But this really isn't about his family..its about you and him. Have you talked together about your fears of his running from conflict? This is a MUST should you get back together and before you do. You will never know if this is something you want to try again until its solved, and its discussed. Is there a reason why you both live so far apart? Any chance of moving closer together and away from his family problems so it doesn't suck both of you in? If not, then I would go cautiously before any decisions are made. Other family problems, outside the love connection can really ruin a relationship fast. Good Luck girl!!
2006-08-15 18:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by sunnyrays61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all, how old is he and how old are you?
2nd of all, how long were you going out with him?
3rd of all, I didn't get the "a mom whose husband who was really there for her who at one point tried to commit suicide" or "also a relationship between mom and sis that was almost without boundaries, very codependant"
You should provide a little more information. Also how come you guys decided on having a long distance relationship? Did you go away for school? Did he move to another state?
2006-08-15 18:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my personal experience, I'd say forget him and move on. You two broke up for a reason. Most of the time, if it didn't work out the first time, it won't work out the second or third or fourth. Believe me. It took me almost 2 and half years to get rid of a guy who caused me nothing but pain and aggravation, just because I was used to being with him.
2006-08-15 18:21:25 · answer #3 · answered by Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't handle working things out with him and trying to put some work and effort into the relationship, then how can you justly claim to be in love with him? Relationships take work, effort, and sacrifice. Period. That's the way it works. If you can't handle it, then you need to stay out of the relationship, because it will just be a recipe for disaster.
~God bless
2006-08-15 18:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by Girl 4 God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never go backwards....there are reasons you are not together. if you keep wasting time on a relationship that you know wont work out, then you can be passing up the real mr right! i have fond memories of my ex bf...i will for the rest of my life...but things dint work out...there is a reason hes an X.
2006-08-15 18:21:47 · answer #5 · answered by Trish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
calliope:
run, do not walk, to the nearest exit! you DON"T need to jump back into this nuthouse.
what has changed in the past 7 months? you don't need that craziness in your life. time to move on, sweetie.
2006-08-15 18:19:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT SOUND LIKE HE HAS SOME ISSUES, AND THAT MAY
BE THE PROBEM THE SECOND TIME AROUND, IT GOOD'THAT THE DOOR IS STILL OPEN, SO I WOULD
'JUST TAKE IT SLOW AND DONT RUSH ANYTHING THEN
SEE HOW IT GOES FROM THERE.GOOD LUCK.
2006-08-15 18:22:12 · answer #7 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for your friend, he needs someone level headed to talk to, just don't let him suck you in too deep and loose yourself, but I would be a friend and that's it.
2006-08-15 18:21:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look at him like hes unav. plus start dating more...... just think and tell him that you want to be friends..... and dont forget all the "bad stuff" a new start Has tobe that..... a new start
2006-08-15 18:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by chad2bert 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's true love, DO NOT GIVE UP. You'll regret it, trust me. Follow your heart.
2006-08-15 19:11:39 · answer #10 · answered by lovelyladybug42 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋